by My Erotic Tail
...is obfuscated by silly extra words. When I read the poem and ignore all but the action and images, I get blown away. A good example is the second part of your title. No matter what you add to it, "Kick dirt into hell" is powerful by itself. Why gild the lily? Consider trying the same with the balance of the poem. You might be surprised!
but poetry takes a lot of work. The process is where all the joy lies. Keep writing. You're getting there.
the form could be tightened up, but the content is powerful, you got your message across, and sometimes that is all that really matters :)
by the way? I'm curious about the rest of the story. And most especially I wonder if he used open or another form of verse.
Art you brought the senseless death of the truly innocent come to life. Your words are heart felt. Your works are always on the edge.
Thank you for tackling the subjects you do with such flare.