All Comments on 'Shooter'

This does succeed in making my hair stand on end!

blacker than their eyes and souls,

you have a problem here, it does sound bad (the ominous panda effect), i was going to suggest darker (which isn't quite as bad) but i see what you are doing with red

or describe a soul, TK U MLJ LV NV

How do you spell Lightning ???

Frightening, although I would have omitted "their" in the last line (faster tempo like a bullet).