by Randi Grail
version.
I like this version too.
You have a wonderful style. You need to post here more so people get used to it
: )
I love this:
~The scent of a summer
clings on by white knuckles,
it's panic of impending season length fall
folds the air into fragments.~
That's whats happening here right now.
Glad to see you back and I love your work
Thank you
is beautiful, but if you had stopped here-
The scent of a summer
clings on by white knuckles,
it's panic of impending season length fall
folds the air into fragments.
it would have been wonderful as well. That one verse is a poem by itself :)
If Alejo is supposed to be a famous person I don't get that part of it, but the images here of summer on the precipice and youthful sparrow song are beautiful! Wonderful poetry, Randi.
...but the first two verses didn't seem to equal the music of the balance of the poem. There are nice images, but the line breaks seemed a little arbitrary. Consider this passage, (which I have "rebroken"):
"Days roll, persistent caress
plunders comfort out of every wisp
that once hummed melodic,
with sand breeze blowing Crete closer."
The poem is too strong to let the reader stumble.
It reminds me very much of Angeline's writing.
Your poem is mentioned on the new poems thread.
*no thermometer