by twelveoone
You discussed this in a thread somewhere, can't find it yet. Shalom.
I'm completely lost here. Not sufficiently edu-ma-cated to grasp at much of this, other than the first lines. When you resurface (hopefully not from within the firmament) I would be interested in some kind of elucidation of intent/references.
just riffin on Baudelaire and Dante. i could go for the easy reaches, ya know,
Does a bere shit in the woulds?...5ed easy
The mocking tone and obscure imagery keeps the reader at a distance which I find off-putting. It is a little funny that the narrator gets run over while gazing up romantically at the sky. Wonderful sonics. Loved 'delicate marshy tones,' but aside from comic relief, what do I take from this? That love is shit? That romance is worth nothing? That fancy talk thee and firmament make me think you're full of shit. Still, worth mentioning.
But Oh, what an entrance.
Beautiful and well executed - and oh, that last line, taking the bite awaay a bit. GReat!