by AChild
but I love the weird combination of archaic and modern (sorta beat-sounding) language. You have some really amazing lines in this piece. I especially love the image of that last line though I think you could edit it down a little (or maybe not depending what the form is).
the wording you choose is intoxicating, a twist on the conventional language order works perfectly
This poem was mentioned in the Jan 22nd New Poetry Review. Great job. Thanks for sharing it with us.