All Comments on 'timidity... briefly'

...is stronger than yesterday's wild ramble. There is power here and there in lines, and the mood is strong. Nice read.

this is only part of a poem, it needs to be extended by about three times its length. It has some good parts and ideas, but if you're trying to write this particular brand of poetry, it needs to be quicker, with fast assonance, some internal rhyme and the length needs to match it, otherwise you're a two minute man with no tools, get what I'm saying?

Ok, I like where you're going with this poem, but I think you can stop it at "waiting for a fool" without adding the "who looks up". The contrast isn't needed, methinks. I also think it would read stronger if you didn't use the pronoun "you" in reference to the shoes, but "them". (Although I could be mistaken and you could have been saying you were looking at a person, but it seemed logical that you meant the shoes.) Anyway, that's all.