All Comments on 'Tuesday?s Daffodils'

um were you trying to prove the jd is crazy debate?

hehe

okay either crazy or brilliant, there is always that question. :) Seriously, great flashes of insight among the repetitious ramble. (I am queen of the ramble)

If you took out the line breaks, I think this would be an excellent short story. I go into a story with a different mindset than I go into a poem, and this was good but read like a story to me.

If I read poetry in a correctional institution, I think I would be trusted because I always lose my keys and would most likely spend half of the time there trying to remember where I put them.

people would pity me.

:)

What demented rant! A very powerful poem(?) JD4G, because it captures the paranoia and insanity of that gray space so well. I wonder if there is a lesson here for anyone studying Abu Ghraib.

I think this is fucking brilliant

"even though we?re here to be corrected...

(it says so on the fucking sign: Co-wreck-shun-al Center)"

break the rules, break the rules, you know what you are doin'

am not exactly sure why i did, but i most certainly did. I liked the unexpectedness of it, the rambling, the repetition, the words, the concept...i liked all of it.

but it has too much ramble for me--and yet that's its strength because although I want to see every poem I read through my eyes, you forced me to see this one through yours. The sense of place and culture is stunning. Maybe that is what makes it hard to read. I don't know that I'd change it though because the jittery repetitiveness is what makes me feel it as opposed to merely understanding it. I bet it's a knock out read aloud. :)

the repetitive lines and overall ramble fit the atmosphere beautifully, and are strokes of brilliance / i think this is wonderful from top to bottom / i could, of course, do without the intro at the beginning / if this is sent out one of theses days, as it should be, that should be removed / but you didn't need me to tell you that, did you /

it certainly fits well here, as explanatory as it is /

Too much.

I loved it, loved the whole premise and the style and the repetition was brilliant...

I know..It's like saying to Mozart " Just trim a few notes and it will be perfect"

I think a shorter work would give the feeling of confinement...but take away from the paranoia..

So...apparently I really have nothing to suggest.

Just ignore this

You are, however, a great poet

JD, this was a cool read but on the winded side. It

reminded me of a Dennis Leary monolog. A fulltilt

flatout race to the finish.