- Erotic Poetry
- Unpoetic we must have been
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Click hereIt’s great oh god, I’m dying!
There was nothing original
Perplexing or surreal
In her hushed excited grunts
But to me with her back shining white
And me with trembling arms around
Unimaginable yielding mounds
In a quickly steaming
Breathing storage space
Her words were no less
Than surprise solution
of paradox never solved before
Caesar crying:
I saw I came I conquered!
Or maybe it was I who actually cried
Oh god! Oh great! I’m dying…
- COMMENTS
Bill Dadaalmost 16 years agoSometimes the unpoetic is more poetic. Also the poetic tends to suck the heat out things.
JaneAustenabout 16 years agoSometimes it feels as though you can not differentiate who has said what, as the two lovers (being as one) often merge in more than one way. Loved your playful way of approaching this, yet it still packs heat. Well done! ~JaneAusten
DawnJabout 16 years ago"Caesar crying:
I saw I came I conquered!" This is definitely the sexiest inversion I've seen in a LONG time! Bravo!!!
DawnJabout 16 years ago"Caesar crying:
I saw I came I conquered!" This is definitely the sexiest inversion I've seen in a LONG time! Bravo!!!
sweet GA peachesabout 16 years agoI went fishing through your poetry, and was lured in by this kick ass title. I love your work, .. and this piece could go alot of ways, .. legs up, legs down, bent behind head, ... okay .. you get the picture..
;-)
sGp
oregon_galabout 16 years agoyour end (pardon the pun) made me smile....nice to read you again.
normal jeanabout 16 years agobetter and better with each poem of yours I have read. This one has such a light hearted feel, truly enjoyable. keep up the good work :) and I did want to mention your lines- the rhythm is good, the syllable count really works with this poem.
KOLKOREabout 16 years agoAuthorYou got this very subtle point LeBroz, and I had to think this very important matter for quite some time! When, I was
I wondering, does the 'conquering' occur? I deliberated and put it where I did. Than again, maybe yours could have been just as right!
BTW, no worries about the self rating. There is a big sweeping machine you'all can't see which cleans every such indecent act! :)
LeBrozabout 16 years agoNice touch of humor. Perhaps old Ceasar should have said:<br>
<br>
I saw I conquered I came!
