- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Walking Jake
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Click hereThe eastern sky grays in the pre-dawn
Several inches of snow fell last night
Light and fluffy, it will sparkle in daylight
My dog, Jake, loves the snow
Sticks his nose deep into the drifts
Sniffing for old grassy mouse nests.
I walk him along the old hedgerow
Apple trees and cherry, brush and sumac
gray in the darkness, silhouettes on the lighter sky
The snow drifts up deeper on this side
Jake plows, looks back, tongue out - smiling
I slog along, troubled mind, troubled heart
Jake gives up on the mice and digs furtively
For horseshit. I pretend not to notice
The sun rising lights the high branches
Those branches windswept to the east
The trees start making blue shadows
I cannot regret what I’ve done
Walking back, old Jake has grown tired
He follows behind in my tracks
And I shuffle to make him a path
Snow, sun and cold, the beautiful morning
Starts to lighten my mind and my heart
It’s what I do now that will matter
- COMMENTS
HoneyAdoredalmost 10 years agoBeautiful and sentimental!
I could sense the bond between man and beast, it made me feel warm inside.
A well deserved 5
UnderYourSpellover 10 years agoThere is real beauty in this poem, not only in the way it is constructed but in your wonderful descriptions of the light so that I can see it in my minds eye. That is true artistry on your part. I wish I knew what he had done though!
Cleardaynowover 10 years agoIt is so good to see you producing something like this. First the painting of the picture of the scenery and Jake and later your interaction with and attitude to Jake. And then the final lines of the three last verses.
Ahem, Oldbear you achieved empathy. Look where it has got you.
It made me think of and contrasts with Lake Effect Storm, a poem of yours that I started to like and then did not. In that one, I felt the switch to the person’s personal life was artificial and contrived. Here it is so natural and right. I do not think it matters whether anyone has read your other poems & knows some of your story or not.
One quibble. I felt the final word ‘matter’ jarred. It is a harsh bang bang. It can be argued that the harshness works to accentuate but I do not think that is right for this poem. Say ‘count’ would possibly be better – an illustration rather than a suggestion.
I cannot tell you how much I look forward to your new poems.
fridayamover 10 years agovery much, appreciated the disjunct between present action and the mind that wanders elsewhere. A lovely read.
ishtatover 10 years agoI felt I was walking with the poet,sharing some things- not others.Very good 6.
