Wings

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101 words
3.5
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See her now a parody of that former life
face wrinkled, each line passage of her life.

Once all she knew beauty and worldly acclaim,
money and adoration back then, all were life.

Remembers sometimes, but mostly forgets,
the years in-between only seem to blur life.

Head bowed she walks the dirtied city streets
none now would ever guess that other life.

Her broken wings no more to soar to glory,
seeks newer love each day, another life.


Hands frail reaching out, a beauty glows within,
to see the wild birds closer throng, a richer life.

Poetry Survivor
Ghazal trigger 35

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2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
it needs

punctuation because the words seem rushed and jumbled with your run-on sentences. Also, I agree with the previous poster that it seemed limp in comparison to (some of) your other work. It is also better than some of your prior offerings.

bflagsstbflagsstabout 15 years ago
seemed sort of limp

but the last couplet was spot on. Everything before seemed to fall short of the quality of the past poems of yours that I've read.