- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Winter Rain
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
Rain whispers against the pane,
your breath rushes against my ear;
A candle flickers in the damp, and
I catch the flecks of gold from your eyes.
The trees reach and quiver
like bare flesh, the ache of these
empty arms audible in their sighs.
The wind sings of my longing and
its tears fade into the night;
these damp drops are cool on my neck
-- not the familiar warmth of your touch.
- COMMENTS
duddle146over 17 years agoA beautiful poem...with such an ethereal beauty it awakens
the heart to its beauty.
LeBrozover 17 years agoJust a small suggestion; not to be taken as authoritative;
2nd line, change period to semicolon;
3rd line, drop the 'and'; period at end of 4th line;
extra line space between lines 4 & 5, so you have 2 strophes.
Try this on for size:
Rain whispers against the pane,
your breath rushes against my ear;
A candle flickers in the damp,
I catch the flecks of gold from your eyes.
The trees reach and quiver
like bare flesh, the ache of these
empty arms audible in their sighs.
The wind sings of my longing and
its tears fade into the night;
these damp drops are cool on my neck
-- not the familiar warmth of your touch.
