All Comments on 'Winter Rain'

Just a small suggestion; not to be taken as authoritative;

2nd line, change period to semicolon;

3rd line, drop the 'and'; period at end of 4th line;

extra line space between lines 4 & 5, so you have 2 strophes.

Try this on for size:

Rain whispers against the pane,

your breath rushes against my ear;

A candle flickers in the damp,

I catch the flecks of gold from your eyes.

The trees reach and quiver

like bare flesh, the ache of these

empty arms audible in their sighs.

The wind sings of my longing and

its tears fade into the night;

these damp drops are cool on my neck

-- not the familiar warmth of your touch.

A beautiful poem...with such an ethereal beauty it awakens

the heart to its beauty.

and delectable