by Kaishaku
i still do. especially this:
Coaxing lime from a twist of light
this blight of blackened green leaning
on light post, her hem a balance
between intent and carelessness.
was it from a challenge here? i know i remember it - it's not a poem easily forgotten :cool:
this does look like a crossword, so the overall tone is bad, however along the way:
Coaxing lime from a twist of light
this blight of blackened green leaning
this is pretty good word weaving
but (for me) it does start to sputter to the gutter but what does it matter, none of it fatal.
100
I agree with the previous 2 comments and would have chosen the exact same lines they quoted.It seemed a little hard to read aloud, maybe it's just me. I don't have my audio hooked up, so I can't hear you read it. I need to remedy that.
~ maria
A five from me. Such great choice of words.....
....."Disheveled chestnut hair destined
to cascade on fading newsprint
in some Singapore alleyway"
as well as the lines already quoted. Good stuff.
Tess
but the rather elaborate language, particularly the beginning, seems at odds with the narrative of the poem. The line "while pleasure's touch is equity" is an interesting comment on the exchange.
Perhaps Poet Guy needs to think this over more, but it doesn't quite work for him. Well above the typical Literotica poem, of course. The vote (4) was relative to your own work.
Finally someone in the poetry category that can actually write!