by PlayfulLittle1
I love the contrast here between the pet's sweet submission and the fact that she also puts up plenty of fight. Sounds like that really turns them both on.
1. Syllable count and stress - your verses are uneven so they distract from rhythm.
2. Punctuation - you miss apostrophes as in cute kitten cloak - kitten's or cloak's?
3. Reverse phrasing - looks clumsy unless done really cleverly, rather than as a quick fix as you seem to do at line 4.
4. Read this aloud and check how it flows.
Sweet O.