All Comments on '2: Beneath Orion, Worlds Apart 04'

Nice story but way too long between chapters. You almost have to start over from the beginning every time a new one pops up.

I surely hope you have the next part (or two or three) ready to go. I'm addicted to this story!

too boring already

I like the story so far as a continuation of Book 1. However, constantly jumping from present to past and continuously going back forth is sort of confusing. Also, it sort hurts the momentum of the story and kills a reader's excitement of the suspense. I suggest you consider staying in present day as you tell the story. -YimmiyaDiva

BORING!!!!!!!! 1*

Your complaints of "boring" bore me. If you don't like it, don't read it. The structure makes you think (you may not be capable of that) and the concept is romance - not go to a party and get laid by forty-seven guys with 22" appendages.

If you don't like romance novels, go somewhere else. There is plenty of raw sex on this site - you don't need to be a boor here. Be a boor elsewhere.

Keep on writing I am hooked

Close one there with Kaylee and Mick, but in spite of Luke "dumping" her, our heroine's character development comes through.

Of course, Luke was off base in his thinking. Kaylee is already in love with him, and would be devastated if he bought it, whether they had broken up or not. He's trying to be logical, but "the logic of the human heart is absurd".

I also see what Spartan22 did in making Sgt. Cash responsible for unwittingly sending the "Dear Jane" letter. It takes Luke off the hook somewhat, since he was seriously questioning whether he really wanted to send it, and Cash didn't really even look at the letter before hitting the send key.

Plus, even the outraged fans would have a difficult time coming up with a rougher punishment for interfering in the lovebirds destiny than getting blown in half by a frickin' RPG.

One would hope so, anyway.

Author must have lost his mind. How many chapters regurgitating the same crap.

someone is going to talk with Luke. Young and in love none of us think right.

The whole party was like a scripted event, you could see it before you read it. Such cliched cringe. At least Aaron had the sense to get Faith over to have words with her, but she saw sense herself thankfully just in time. Could have been worse. Certainly some of the things I thought were going to happen were a million times worse than how it went down.

Speaking of Faith, ironic name given that even she didn't have much faith in her brother here. She didn't adamantly defend him despite knowing how crazy he is for Kaylee. Quickly went from "he worships the ground you walk on" to "fuck that asshole if he did do that." Loyalty and faith is hard to come by these days it seems. Anyway at least the hope is still alive.