30 Years of Love 90 days of Lies

"Six o' clock arrived and found me pulling up the driveway of a house I'd lived in and loved for almost twenty years. It hadn't been our first house together. But it was the most special. This was our dream house. It was the one we were going to grow old together in. After I shut off the Mustang, I walked up to the door and knocked on it."

"Kathy immediately came to the door. She was wearing a thin t-shirt and jeans. Her dad waved from the sofa and asked if it was okay if he stayed. Kathy told him to go get some coffee and she'd call him. I told him to stay just in case and we'd go out on the deck."

"Rob, I'm so sorry," she said and immediately started crying. Though it tore my heart in two I didn't reach for her."

"After a few moments, she looked up at me and stuck her arms out for a hug. I backed away and she looked as if someone had kicked her in the stomach."

"Even after we started to talk, she constantly reached for me. I realized it was a habit on her part. For over thirty years we'd been almost a part of each other. It took a lot to change that. On my part, I'd had enough of a betrayal where I just wanted it over."

"Rob, I love you," she said. "There's never been anyone except you..." she started.

"Kathy, I came here to listen to what you had to say and try to work things out between us," I snapped, "so don't start out by lying. I was there. I saw you. And your own father explained that you've done this all your life. So even if those were the only three guys you've had this year, you've cheated on me at least 90 times. That doesn't sound like love to me."

"What do you want Rob," she asked. "What do I have to do to make this right? I'll do anything. I don't want us to be apart. We never have been. Our life has been perfect since the day we met."

"I really thought so too," I said.

"Tears rolled down my cheeks and she reached out to hug me. The pain I was feeling overwhelmed me and I let her. Kathy doesn't have anything on her chest, it's very flat. But her nipples stand up like erasers when she's aroused. As my arms went around her, I could feel those hard little points digging into my chest. I loved Kathy's ass. And she knew it. It was so round and full that it almost didn't belong on a woman that thin. As she gently pulled my hands down until they were resting on her ass cheeks I felt like I was home again. Then suddenly I saw her with those men again and I pushed her away from me. Perhaps a little harder than I meant to."

"That will NEVER happen again," I spat. "I hope you can find another Pagan convention before next year in Las Vegas. Maybe you'll find a Pagan church where you can go and fuck a bunch of guys every week."

"So you're saying that for the rest of our lives we aren't going to have sex anymore," she said sadly.

"No Kathy," I said. "I'm sure you're going to have lots of sex with lots of guys. I just won't be one of them. And whomever I have sex with is no longer your business." The hurt in her eyes was painful for me too.

"Rob, that isn't a fair punishment," she said. "I've already told both my dad and the priestess that I'm quitting. This was unfair to you. I really should have told you before we got married. I also thought about quitting before but it's something I've done all of my life. We have a wonderful marriage Rob. We don't need to let this turn us into one of those old couples who, because of circumstances, don't have sex with each other." I just laughed because I knew what she was talking about.

"We have our differences Rob," she said. "But we love each other more than anyone else I know. So I'm a Pagan. You have your quirks too. What is it with you and Mustangs? You've never wanted any other kind of car. I don't like them. They're too loud. They're too small inside and everyone you see on the street wants to race. If you even get a scratch on that car you're whining like a little baby. But I put up with it because it's you, Honey. And you're the man I love. You're all mine."

"Too bad I can't say the same," I said. "Over the years, I thought that you were all mine too. But now I'm only beginning to calculate how many times you've cheated on me. Kathy, our whole marriage has been a lie. Our whole relationship has. When you think back, you see things we did together and memories. I no longer have that. Now all I wonder about is how many guys you fucked that year. I have nothing to hold onto anymore. None of it is true."

"Rob, you're out of your fucking mind," she screamed. "Every bit of it is true. We're perfect together. Do you remember the things that some of our friends went through. All of your friends reached a point where they stopped having sex with their wives or where their wives cheated on them. Did you ever have to beg me for sex Rob? Even when I was pregnant, I wanted to be with you as much as you wanted me. Any and everything you wanted to try I was okay with."

"Probably because you'd already done those things with someone else," I quipped. Her whole face turned red and I thought she was about to explode.

"You're a fucking liar," she spat. "I have never done anything sexually with anyone before I did it with you. And everything I do sexually is soooo much better with you Rob. Tell me something, what did you see? Tell me about this image of me with the other guys. Were my eyes lit up, the way they always are whenever you're around? I'll bet they weren't, were they? That's because it was just a part of the God damned ceremony Rob. It wasn't making love like we do. There were no souls meeting, it was just people doing a part of their religious ceremony. You always talk about my nipples Rob and how you love licking them. Did you see anyone licking my nipples? You didn't Rob, because I don't allow that. My flat little titties are yours alone. I'd be willing to bet that my nipples weren't even aroused because they only get that way when you're around. Did you see me giving anyone a blow job Rob? If you say you did, you're a liar. The only dick that's ever been in my mouth is yours. And you love squeezing my big puffy ass don't you? Well, you're the only person who's ever had anal sex with me in my life. There's something else you should know Rob," she said. "I never have sex with any man at the conference more than once. There are no repeats that might tempt them to think that there is anything going on between me and any of them. Whether you believe it or not, you're the only man I love and you always will be."

"So you claim," I spat right back at her. "If I couldn't believe you about you cheating on me for the past thirty years, why should I believe anything else you say? Do you realize that our entire history together no longer counts, Kathy? I have nothing to believe in anymore."

"Rob, you do," she said. "I love you. I've always loved you. You can believe in that."

"So you say," I told her. "Did you ever think about how badly I'd be hurt if I found out about what you do?"

"Honestly, Honey," she said. "I never thought about it."

"Then you didn't love me, Kathy," I said. "Because every time I went out of town and some woman or some hooker hinted at sex, I saw you in my mind and I saw how hurt you'd be and that was enough to assure that I would never, ever cheat on you. I LOVED you too much for that."

"That brought another round of tears and me trying to avoid her. I really think that your mother thought that she could come over to the house in her t-shit and tight jeans and we'd just fuck our problems away. That was why she didn't want your grandpa to stay. She ended up with her feelings hurt."

"Okay Rob, if you want us to have a sexless marriage, I have to agree to it. But I've already agreed to give up Paganism. My hope is that eventually you'll come to your senses and we can get back to showing each other our love," she said. "This isn't what I want but I'll agree to it." She shook out her hand to shake.

"Kathy, that isn't what I want at all and you know it," I said. "You heard what I told the cops. We're getting a divorce. The things we have to work out are..." Even as I said it, Kathy collapsed to the deck. Her entire face got pale.

"Should I call your dad?" I asked. She held up her hand and shook her head.

"Rob we've been married for over thirty years," she said. Her voice was choking up and the tears were flowing."

"What I did at the conferences was religion. It was only sex. There was no love involved. I don't remember a single one of those men from even this year, let alone the past thirty. It was only physical sex. I can't believe you even want to compare what went on there with what we do. Didn't you see it? Those guys don't remember me either. It's like when you're square dancing and you change partners. By the end of the night, everyone has danced with everyone else. None of it matters when you end up spending your life with your dream man and he's the one you dance with all of the time. When you and I make love...It's something special, Rob. That's why at fifty fucking years old we're still doing it. Every time you look at me, my nipples get hard and I want you in me. It is not because I'm hyped up at a ritual. It's because I love you and I want us to be one. I do not even want to think about us not being together. What will we tell the kids?" she asked.

For a few moments I didn't say anything. And then it just popped out.

"How do I even know that your kids are mine?" I asked.

"She started crying even louder and her dad came out onto the deck. He looked at me sadly."

"You two don't seem to be making much progress," he said. "Maybe you need a third party to help you over some of the rough areas."

"There are no rough areas," I said. "Just fundamental differences."

"Rob, she agreed to give up her religion for you. Doesn't that show you that she's serious? I don't think she should have to go that far but she loves you." I laughed.

"What's your suggestion Phil?" I asked.

"I thought that you should join us," he said.

"Phil, I'm just not the kind of sharing guy who can watch a bunch of other guys fuck his wife under the guise of religion or any other way. I love her too much for that."

"You wouldn't be watching," he said. "You'd be out there enjoying..."

"Phil, for the past thirty years, I've been in love with one woman. I have never needed another woman. I haven't even been tempted. My problem is that I was stupid enough to think she felt the same way."

"She does, Rob," he said. "Just the thought that you were angry at her caused her to have a nervous breakdown. What do you want? It's over and done with. You won. She's out of it."

"He wants a divorce, Daddy," she said.

"Isn't that a little extreme?" he asked. "You're going to throw away thirty years over...Do you know how rare it is for two people to be together for that long? Are you crazy?"

"He just asked me how he can be sure that the kids are his?" she said.

"He looked at me even more strangely."

"Legally in a lot of states the children are considered the offspring of the husband if they were produced during the marriage, no matter what," he said.

"Our state isn't one of those," I said. "And you saying that just told me all I needed to know."

"What do you mean, Son?" he asked.

"Phil, you saying that and knowing all of that legal bullshit means you've come across it in your days of whoring with the Pagans. There are probably all kinds of shit like that going on aren't there?" I asked. "And you need to get used to not calling me, Son. It won't be true for much longer."

"This has taken far longer than I thought it would. I'm trying to be fair. I'd like a fifty/fifty split straight down the middle. We'll file under the no fault law, so no reason is necessary. We'll sell the house and split that down the middle. I'll sell my business and we'll split that down the middle too."

"Both Phil and Kathy gasped at that."

"Why would you sell your business?" asked Kathy. "You've built it up and put your blood, sweat and tears into it for over twenty years. "

"Because if I had the business I'd have to give you a cut of the profits for the rest of our lives or pay you alimony," I said.

"Don't you think that's fair?" asked Phil. "You said it yourself; you thought she was a good wife until you found out about her religion. She deserves something for that. You can't expect to leave her penniless."

"I never wanted to," I said. "I'd never hurt Kathy. But I want a fresh new start. I don't want the two of us to be in any kind of contact. I don't want us arguing over late checks. I don't want to drop a check off at her place and run into her and whomever she's fucking to do it. Besides I'll probably move away anyway."

"Kathy started crying again."

"Why don't you let her keep the house and you keep the business?" suggested Phil.

"Because the house isn't worth nearly as much as the business so it wouldn't be a fifty/fifty split. Plus, if she worked through her savings or let her next man spend too much, she could go back to court and amend the settlement. Most judges wouldn't like seeing me with more assets than she'd have, so I'd end up paying her anyway. I'm trying to be fair. We just split everything and walk away. If she fucks up her money it won't be my fault."

"But I thought the business would be a legacy for your kids?" he said.

"He isn't even sure the kids are his," spat Kathy. "He thinks I'm some whore. Rob, you threw in your little jibes about my next man twice and I let you get away with them. There won't be any more men for me, EVER."

"No one said anything so I broke the silence."

"My lawyer has the papers all drawn up," I said. "Maybe you guys could come by tomorrow and sign them. I'm going to take a walk through the house and see if I missed anything that I wanted.

"I'll walk with you," said Kathy. "To make sure you don't take anything we need."

"What do you mean anything WE need?" I asked.

"I'm going to pay for the divorce," she said. "...Out of my fifty percent."

"Since I filed, I have to pay," I said.

"No, I'm going to pay because it isn't going to be the way you want it to," she said. "I'm going to fight this with everything I have. You will not get away from me without knowing exactly how far I was willing to go to keep you. And to start, I want the pictures back."

"What pictures?" I asked.

"When you were here before, you went through all of our photo albums and took a lot of the pictures out. There are no pictures of you left. You were kind enough to leave most of the pictures of just me and a lot of pictures of the kids, but every picture of yourself was removed. And there had to be at least a thousand pictures of you and me together."

"Destroyed," I said. "I burned them that night. It was the first step on the path to erasing thirty years of lies."

"Rob," she asked crying. "How could you do that? Those were our memories. What will we look at when we get old and sit by the fireside? How will we show our grandkids what we looked like?"

"I had no answer. Then it came to me. "Kathy we're only fifty. We have a long time left. I'm sure we'll each find someone and we'll have a lot more memories. You'll have yours with a guy who doesn't mind you fucking other guys. I'll have mine with a woman who's happy just being with me. The sooner we get the divorce started, the sooner we can start on our next thirty years."

"Rob, how many days are there in a year?" she asked.

Three hundred and sixty five days," I said.

"So if I, as you call it, cheated on you for three days a year for thirty years that only adds up to ninety days. So it's not thirty years of lies. It's only ninety days. To put it in perspective, that's thirty years of love; ninety days of lies. And never call it lies again. I have never once lied about loving you."

"Kathy got a lawyer. She got a really good lawyer. At our first meeting, he begged her to take my offer. She demanded a meeting to discuss it. He told her at the meeting that she would never get a better offer. My lawyer told them that if they didn't accept the offer we'd file under adultery and charge everyone at the conference that could be tracked down or identified as accessories and drag them all into court. There would be a lot of people and their careers ruined. And a lot of marriages, including Kathy's sister Rose's would be ruined as well."

"Kathy didn't blink."

"Staying married to you is worth EVERYTHING," she said. "Do it. Burn the fucking world down around us, baby."

"At the same meeting she came up with her next demand. She wanted the pictures returned. When I reiterated that the pictures had been destroyed, she demanded that they be remade. The two of us would have to re-shoot all of the pictures I'd destroyed. We would have to re-pose in our wedding clothes together and re-shoot those. Then we'd have to go together to every vacation spot we'd ever been to and take pictures again. We'd have to recreate ever holiday, birthday and anniversary together until all of the pictures were remade. She claimed that they had lasting sentimental value and she wanted them back. I offered to pay the value of the pictures. She claimed they were worth more dollars than there are grains of sand in the desert. Our lawyers wasted a ridiculous amount of billable hours talking about those fucking pictures so I gave her back half of them. I'd put them away in a safe deposit box anyway."

"She was overjoyed about it until she learned that I could play hardball too. I'd cut each fucking picture in half and gave her back the halves with only her in them. The bitch smiled and told her father that she'd tape them back together as soon as the divorce was over and then have them digitally restored."

"The next day I had lunch with Rose's husband. I showed him the pictures I'd taken in Las Vegas. He was so pissed that we didn't finish lunch. Naturally, Rose was distraught and I was an asshole according to Phil. I'd destroyed Rose's marriage just to help bring about the end of mine. I just smiled. Kathy just shrugged her shoulders and kept trying to talk to me."

"When the priestess of their sect received her papers naming her as an accessory to the destruction of my marriage, Phil came to see me. He told me that I was stepping over the line. He begged me to just keep this between Kathy and me. I told him that there was nothing between Kathy and me anymore and as soon as she signed the papers, it could end."

"While I put my plans into effect, Kathy was busy with plans of her own. She found out where my new condo was. While I was at work trying to show the business to a potential buyer, she moved in. When I'd registered with the condo board they'd taken my driver's license and copied it. We had the same last name and address, so she was let in to drop off a few things while I was at work. When I got home, it was after eleven and I'm over fifty. I just undressed and crawled into bed. I didn't even notice that Kathy was in the apartment. As soon as I was asleep, she joined me in bed. During the night, we ended up spooning together and after thirty years I'd gotten used to waking up with my morning wood nestled in that round ass of hers. I was rubbing her wet pussy and she was moaning in her sleep, when I came to my senses and turned the lights on. She sat up and just smiled at me."

"A few more minutes and you'd have had that dick in me," she smirked. "Why can't your brain realize what our bodies already know? I fucked up. I'm very sorry, Honey. But we love each other and we belong together."

"Get out of my condo," I said calmly.

"Call your lawyer, sweetie," she said sarcastically.

"I will," I said.

"I called him and told him to come over. He told me he'd be there in thirty minutes and he was on the clock. I got ready to take a shower and Kathy stopped me. She told me destroying evidence was illegal. So we just sat on the bed and waited for him. She kept trying to make small talk and telling me how she loved me and missed me, but I refused to partake. Then I noticed it. Kathy was thinner. Not to a ridiculous level but definitely thinner. There was something wrong with her hair too. It seemed lifeless."