All Comments on 'A Beautiful Love Story'
by Jena121
- 27 Comments
digdaddyrichover 15 years agoIt seemed that the last of the story was a little rushed, so i would hope that you could recap a little and then write about what will happen to the couple and their desire to live as man and wife.
Thank You for the very good story. ...Rich
mrpervy46over 15 years agoI hope you continue with a few more details thank you, great story.
Anonymousover 15 years agoAs to the story itself the dialog was stilted and unbelievable--The plot was nice -- The 8 inch dickey did nothing for the story
SmallTitFanover 15 years agoRead the dialogue aloud and, as you listen, ask yourself if anyone ever actually talks like this. Written English and spoken English are very different and your characters speak in written English; it is so unnatural that it seriously detracts from the story. Compare "Mark, I have wanted you for such a very long time. Please make love to me now!" to "Mark, I've wanted you for so long. I can't wait. Fuck me now!" Don't be insulted by the criticism; just keep working on it.
Anonymousover 15 years agoIt seemed a bit stiff and awkward, especially the last couple of paragraphs. You need to loosen up a little bit and not be quite as formal. Lets face it, incest is not a stiff and formal arrangement, so the writing about it shouldn't be either...otherwise an excellent idea and overall a good story.
William smythover 15 years agoThis is one of my favorite authors and I enjoyed this story. But the idea of offspring bothers me just a bit.
Is'nt that a bit dangerous?
P.Lighthouseover 15 years agoJust Beautiful.
As another reader commented before, this romance deserves to be continued.
Anonymousabout 15 years agoMy sister and her girlfriend took care of me one weekend when I was about 5. They both tried to do sexual things with them but I didn't understand. A couple of times when I was about 9 my sis (7 yrs older than me) let me play with her. Then she got married at 18. Her husband and I have never gotten along well together and the only time I talk to my sister is for business matters. If her husband ever dies I might try to see her and see what could happen. I am 70 now. I can well identify with this story.
Anonymousalmost 15 years agoI hope you'll continue this story. It has a great plot! Well,good luck.
Anonymousover 13 years agoway to unrealistic i really don't think any guy would ever call his sister after a major falling out especially after such a long time most people especially guys hold grudges and would not want to bring back any bad feelings or take a chance of starting a new fight if he had to go back to town he would make sure to avoid her at all costs keep it atleast somewhat believable and realistic please this isn't the fantasy area
Anonymousover 11 years agothis was the best story i read so far it could have been a little bit longer and more detailed it was a great story just finish it and keep them coming
jerry
Anonymousabout 11 years agoIt's great when a brother and sister finally get together in the way lots of them have always secretly desired. They know that each of them has something between their legs that can do the other a world of good. The brother's got a nice stiff prick and a pair of balls that never quit. His sis's got an adorable little coochie that needs something nice and stiff to fill and stretch it. They discover the sheer delight of bringing prick and coochie together, and joy of the boy unloading his young balls up between his sister's legs, shooting her great big twatfuls of his creamy semen. It's wonderful that they go on to make a life together as a married couple, the brother will be pouring gallons of his potent sperm up his sister's sweet cunt, fucking lots of babies into her belly. Truly a beautiful story of love and lust.
Anonymousover 8 years agokeep writing, I'm looking forward to reading more. Thank you, Dave.
torith88about 8 years agoIt all seemed to wrap up too quickly. But it is a good story I hope to see more.
goducks1about 5 years agowell written, clever. this one is too short - i know you haven't written anything new in 5-6 years - maybe you'll come out of retirement and add to this story!
Harvey8910over 2 years agoWhat a beautiful story. I gave it 5 stars. Brother and sister no more, they met and became lovers. Eventually moving to a new town for a fresh start and they married. They had two children. It was a beautiful love story.
Rancher46almost 2 years agoWhat a great love story, this is definitely a story that would have created a beautiful love story had you not quit writing. 5/5
