All Comments on 'A Boilerplate Rendering Ch. 03'

A 'happy ending' here would consist of the husband gaining true retribution upon the cheating wife or husband and wife 'rediscovering' one another. Instead, you chose to write a story in which the husband is an abused stoic who martyrs himself for the sake of his children. I would posit that the kids would have been better off if he had simply divorced the slut the second that he discovered his wife's infidelity. Why explore the pain of the husband without him finding true redemption and happiness. The wife deserves a much more severe outcome than simply living alone.

Second read; better comprehension of both parents and their interactions or lack of them. Really very well written. Enjoyed it so much more this time.

Second time through and I really don't like the ending. Have to agree with the Anon from 11 days ago. Either give the characters a true break up or a true reconciliation. Limbo is no better for the kids than it is for the readers. Just not happy with the way this turns out.

What a pos this is. Author has really low opinions n of men, total lack of self esteem. Mc was a complate and total,wuss and wimp. Very very unrealistic lowest possible scor.

Good writer.

But a truly warped story with a horrid ending. Uggh.

Clearly the characters are caricatures of the human race. MC certainly doesn't seem to be Home Sapien.

I gave up half way this chapter, the anguish and hate for his wife was too much to keep reading. Either fuck his cheating wife or fuck off. Talk about 'maintaining the rage' i got tired of him distancing himself from her wanting to be intimate with him. Did he get ED?

A very well written story and sadly

a very true life situation that some husbands allow to play out. But I doubt in quite the manner you presented in this tale.Staying together for the children,yes. Promoting the affair to go on,Hardly.That just over the top.I hate unrealistic,it ruins the story.You made me lose respect for the husband as a man at that moment ,but regained some (due to him staying true to his conviction) as the story went along.That is a credit again to your writing. Having said that,as you presented him and the story, it did keep my attention to the end just to see where your MC was going with his choice of action. That is good tale telling...5 stars...JZK

See, one of the reasons people cheat is a lack empathy or caring for their spouse They really have no true understanding how gut wrenching emotionally and spiritually infidelity is upon their spouse. That's why real reconciliation is so hard and difficult with no guarantee of success. The cheating spouse broke so many intangible things in the marriage that's impossible to fix or replace them. Like the husband pointed to the wife, she's nothing like the woman he loved. She's gone and replaced by a total; stranger who expects they can just jump into the role of the woman he loved. Like wise, the husband been changed for ever as well by her affair. They're two totally different people. Reestablishing the previous relationship is an impossibility. The wife would need to approach this as an entirely new different relationship. The problem for her is he doesn't really like the person she's become. If she serious about getting back together with her she has to understand it could take years and she'd have to earn his trust as a friend first before he'd even consider become romantically involved with her again. The it'd be like trying court him and win his affection all over again except that he has full knowledge of her past. Is she willing to remain celibate the entire time it takes to get him back? Because if she starts dating other men again she has no chance of getting back together with him. Reconciliation is a hard road with all the heavy lifting being done by the cheater and there's no guarantee of success. Cheaters aren't know for their patience and that's why they lean towards the escapism and instant gratification of affairs.

Divorce is almost certain. Even if she learned her lesson it doesn't mean she's still a suitable life partner for John any more. John most certainly know this already and Karen may need to realize this as well. So they both can move on with their lives albeit separately.

Wonderful, wonderful story. I felt his pain, his decision to raise the kids lovingly. The way he shielded them from the hursh reality.

I went through a divorce 12 years ago and I'm proud to say that my daughters were on my mind always.

A very depresing and intimate story that brought to much of my pain back with the los of a family to divorce some 40 years ago. But still an amazingly well written epitaph for failed marriages everywhere.

I must agree with the anon who remarks that that people who cheat in a marriage have no empathy for others. If they did they wouldn't cheat. The author did a great job bringing out the pain and emotions of the father and how he dealt with the cheater. In a way his choice of the he handled the situation made this a subtle BTB story. By not reacting to anything she did really tortured her and out a great guilt trip on her. Any normal person with morals will put more hurt on themselves than anyone else could possible inflict.5 stars of course,

@nixrox

Genuine alpha males NEVER call themselves alpha males. It's like you saying you're a wonderful, kind and very talented person. If you have to say it, you're not.

You know what sucks the most about this? It's that an author as talented as TheUnoriginalist has published only 2 stories on this site! I've seen some recent comments by him (her?), so know that you're still out there and greedily want to see more!

A ver good, but sad ending.

Some of the best writing on this site. I particularly admire this passage spoken by the LW:

"I swear I saw a snarling dog baring its teeth at me, and I heard the most sinister sounds I've ever heard in my life. I just...responded to those sounds. Reacted to them, like a mindless thing. I never even noticed that the beast in front of me was backed up into a corner. I never noticed that you were the one in danger the whole time."

Kept me twisted up for all three chapters. Also brought back, vividly, the pain of my divorce forty seven years ago. I agree with the writer below who said we need more.

Amazing…

To all the anon and named commentors that hated the ending, see this for what it is. A story about how an affair, to some extent ruined 4 lives. Mom and Dad will never be the same no matter with whom they might meet in the future. Their High School Daughters finally recognized what the parents went thru and continue to go thru the rest of their lives. The daughters view on family, marriage will forever be altered from their views of their friend's family's, they will always wonder, "What If"

Loved this story just as much as I hated it. Karen was a cheater, but John was something even worse; a bastard.

Second time round, I enjoyed the story but hated the characters, all of them!

I am not John, he’s a cunt, like his wife. I would’ve ditched without a second thought and still kept the girls.

Still a 5/5

The author has some writing chops and should return to the fold. I enjoyed this tale, and urge the author to put fingers to keyboard yet again.

A brilliant tale of the marital intrigues of a masochist, a sociopath and a petty sadist. The characters are all pretty revolting, but on the revoltometer there is little doubt that hubby John storms away with the award. Some people deserve to be miserable, some people choose to be miserable. but passive-aggressive, self-righteous hubby John grasps misery in both hands and refuses tor let go.

Written in the first person from hubby John's perspective, the story is a brilliant exercise in bias and self-delusion - whether the author wanted us to accept the narrative as an honest recounting of events or self-justifying ramblings of a delusional idiot only the author knows - but, either way, there are some glaring holes in John's perception of events. Especially the notion that John and Karen could behave as coldly and nastily as they did towards each other, take separate vacations and wander around the house looking miserable - and the children wouldn't notice?

I also have a few problems with the ending. After Karen finally comes to her senses and realises she'd married a lunatic and leaves, she disappears from the story. She says she wants to keep in touch, take the girls out, come home and have meals as a family - but there's no indication whether she did or not? Or what happened to her?

After all the build up to their separation, the ending came about a little too quickly, too many questions were left unaswered and the final paragraph seemed little more than the girl's (barely plausible) justification of their father's behaviour. But it isn't often that I hate the characters and love the story. This is an exception to the rule - so it must be pretty good.

LA

I dont like to be John,...but understand the logic behind his action

So sad for the message left behind after reading this story.

In real life, those kinds of infidelities weigh on your conscience relentlessly for the rest of your life.

They affect you and EVERYONE around you FOREVER.

I think I have read this 4 times now. It is the best story in the category for so many reasons. I realise many would not agree but they tend to cloud their judgement with their own perceptions but the characters are genuine. No one is perfect. Excellent. 5 stars. Wish he would write more as his 2 offerings are superb.

Sorry. The character John here doesn't exhibit strength with all of this.

It's stupidity. It's stubbornness. Its a slow burn to killing off a man's psyche.

It really is not healthy...subjecting oneself to this kind of daily anguish? This character admits at least a half dozen times to thoughts of strangling, beating, or killing his wife. A few times barely able to control his anger and rage.

To live like this for a year or two? It's just dumb.

And his daughters saying that at the end? That they were glad there was no trauma with their parents breakup? It's ridiculous when you consider that their mother publicly outed herself as a cheating traitorous slut to their entire friend's list. Extended family. Neighborhood.

That WOULD have been traumatic. It would have permeated every friendship the family had. And it WOULD have gotten back to the children and affected them.

Other kids would have brought it up. Preteens and teenagers are ruthless. Those girls would have been subjected to torment for years for what their mother publicly admitted to doing. It would have done a lot more damage to their family, their relationships with one another and their childhood. Regardless if their parents yelled at each other in screaming fits.

The fact that the author ignored this seemed wierd to me. She blew up hers and their lives with outing herself and it didn't come with public scorn or any social repercussions? Sure.

read it several times and I always wonder why he felt he had no ability or desire for sex at all? You would think at some time he would know he was capable. He just does not want to touch the whore wife. So all the while if he wants to stay for the sake of the kids why not take on a lover like his wife did? She moves out to get an apartment. Think she will not be having men over? SO again, when she moves out, get a girl.

Exceptionally unrealistic overall. Oh sure we can pretend to have high purpose blah blah. But finally, he stated he was so lonely, well, go ahead and fix that. Once he was certain of wife’s behavior, why go totally celibate. Just stupid,, it di not gain him anything. This is not a picture of strength, more like stubborn stupidity. There was zero reason he needed to affect his health, or any other aspect of his life except he failed marriage. This was clearly a reach too far, a bridge built on a premise of sand.

The pathetic ramblings of a writer who imagines he is the smartest man in every room. Unoriginal is a good word, since this is a pretentious ripoff of a story by Harddaysknight.

The author clearly has skill in writing and characterization. Unfortunately thr plot and the actions of both the MC and his "wife" are beyond surreal. His plan is indecipherable. There is no logical cohesion to this story. He could have achieved the end point (more or less) with his girls in different ways. He had a plethora of evidence. While legally it may seem to make.no difference, he had leverage to wreck her reputation with everyone, and also burn Carl, etc. using all that info. He had the wherewithal to hire a PI for some time, he might have been able to take the kids and disappear. She had clearly become a shitty mother. He told her if she took the kids he would kill her. And he meant it. That threat could have been delivered nonetheless. I doubt if they had gone for a divorce that she would have continued with Carl. She liked the sex but didn't like him as a person. It wasn't one of these stupid "true love" or "seconf love" scenarios. He could have made sure that she did not end up with Carl and take the kids. Maybe they had to do split custody. He probably could have gotten 50/50 with her getting an apartment. There were many options that are all less masochistic than what he chose, depending on how far he was willing to go. In the end, what did his ploy really pull off. If he had forced her to stop but claimed they might reconcile (even if he ahd no intent) how does it differ from. What occurred that she though to get back together, had sex a few times, she felt guilty, and moved out. Why would she hate him or go to war over the kids? She felt like shit. Maybe some of the dialog would have been different but if they went to counseling and he was still steadfast in his lack of feeling for her, she would have still more or less ended up in the same state. She burned their marriage in a horrible way. 3 month long fuckfest and worse was the audio. The fact she was willing to cut off Carl right away says something, that she has guilt. Forget reconciling, not sure why there is a reconciliation tag, as they did NOT reconcile. Instead we get the husband telling her to bang away, become a sexual for a long time, and force her to fuck Carl otherwise he will get a divorce. Huh? Some might argue that his perverse master plan worked, but that is some serious bs. He had many options to achieve the same or similar result, partly because even though she was a self-centered bitch, it was her own guilt that caused her to change and realize what she was doing. Her reaction upon confrontation tells a lot. The fact that he coerced her to keep going until the guilt overwhelmed, makes no sense. If the goal of the story was like forcing a smoker to smoke a ton of cigarettes every day until they get sick of it, that really doesn't track with this story. His plan was ill conceived and he was an emotional masochist who became a broken man. Supposedly all for his kids.

Damn, for some reason I was hoping for a reconciliation. Great sensitive story that perfectly captures one’s reaction to betrayal. Gut wrenching as hell.

This story is just a bummer. A well written bummer but a bummer all the same man.

EXCRUCIATING Femdom agitprop ruins a family. Oh, they survive, but it’s not living.

Great writing.

Gave each part average as I kept hoping I would catch up with the MC. Never really understood his reasoning.

At end when kids talking about other parents?!! How could they not be aware of mother's missing so much and coldness between them.?!

Didn't buy it All through And Really ended the pain. Thanks for that.

Know a lot of divorced parents and kids are going to be affected

BUT seen kids from friendly divorces turn out like shitheads And kids from acrimonious divorces turn out fine. It's how the kids are treated by the divorced parents and also peer group they are in

I simply do not get this story at all. The MC is not an admirable character despite his love for his daughters. I sincerely doubt that in real life, a woman would have put up with his self-pitying schtick for very long and certainly the wife as she was drawn in the first two chapters wld have dumped him. Then the inexorable reality of divorce laws and the unwritten but very real bias in favor of the mother/woman wld have taken his children away.Then, wld he have murdered his children's mother, an event that no matter her sins, wld have deprived them of both parents? The author captures the sheer misery that an unfaithful spouse inflicts on the family but does so with a character that is deeply unlikable, at least to me.

Kids aren't that stupid. They woukd know something was amiss at some point. Hai strategy was not some clever master plan. Yes she moved out due to guilt and he got to spend time with his daughters. But he suffered immensely and no wife who wad not a complete head case woukd keep doing what she did. Divorce was inevitable. Somehow he tricked her into think otherwise. Yeah he totally revenge on Carl but a gazillion ways to do that, none that required his ongoing soul crushing pain. Uggh.

A terribly depressing story, but well worth your time to read. Very well written. The author has illustrated the MC’s deep emotional problems wonderfully!

Disney Land or Disney World? They are a couple of thousand miles apart?

Truthfully, there is more than one villain in this story. Personally, I think the husband was the bigger one. He was a sad pathetic manipulative little man. He didn’t have the guts to do what needed doing. In the end, even his wife had to do it for him. The author states that the husband had the best interests of the children in mind. That they were his sole focus for doing what he did. Yet there are multiple examples of where he used his kids as weapons against his wife. He was no where near a hero. A truly well written and sad story.

What happened to Carl, caught by another, violence prone husband and finally punished appropriately (fed to gators, paralyzed, dismembered, etc..., etc...) there are worse fates than death.

A truly tragic tale. The kids came the closest to escaping destruction of their core selves. I think John came out the worst. Of course we don't know what happened to his wife (it's telling that I don't remember her name). On the other hand, her willingness to confess to friends and family without excuses seemed I my mind to redeem her. I feel sorry for John. He hollowed himself out. Very sad, disturbing and weirdly compelling.

LMJ

I'd have liked to give this 5 stars, but I definitely didn't 'Love It'. Actually it quite depressed me.

Which means it was brilliantly written.

Thanks for the effort.

Guess I'll do the 5 stars thing ignore the text below it. ;-)

I'm not sure that watching your dad implode and turn into a shadow of his former self is good for a child's psyche. Also growing up in a home with a dysfunctional dynamic between the parents is far more damaging than you realize

The cost of marrying poorly. It'll catch up to you in the end.

NickTee, I disagree. Child of divorce, with cheating parent. And with 2 (and maybe 3) half-sibling older than some full siblings.

Keeping the family together for the sake of the children I feel is preferable, absent abuse.

A cheating spouse - yep, even then. The kid(s) didn't cheat. Been there got the t-shirt.

10 stars

A great story showing a man taking what was most important and never letting go. Despite outside stimuli. Well done.

After years of multiple variations on the same basic story, this comes along.

Thank you for a well thought out, deep, unique and very well expressed story.

Hope there is more down the road

Most of the way through this story I couldn’t figure out if this guy was screwing with his wife’s head or if he was engaging in figurative self flagellation. I finally decided on the latter. He pretty much martyred himself for his kids.

And I still can’t make up my mind if that’s a good thing or not. I do know that the kids are the only ones I have any sympathy for.

It is an interesting story, and very well written.

Yes he was a martyr, he pulled back from his wife for his children. I am very surprised he had sex with her though. I would not touch her skanky body. Sorry I am a one and done person as are some f my relatives. His actions were all for his children which in seemed to have worked out. One thing I will say is I am surprised the children did not pick anything up and that they should have been told when they were older.

The story was very heavy going to read. It was just so thick.

Very well written story, engaging and thought provoking.

I understand the husband's motivation, but much like NickTee has stated in his comment, I don't believe a plan like that would work the way it did in the story. Also, children are far too sensible, observant and perceptive as to be uneffected by the whole betrayal and charade.

Apart from that, I found it impossible to sympathise with the MC. I'm much older than he is, have gone through numerous hardships and heartaches, just like most people of age I guess, but I never lost my appetite for more than a few hours or days, both literally as in the 'appetite for life'.

Something else, while the MC didn't have urges of sexual nature he still felt human again when is wife started to give him a few tentative touches. It didn't reignite his libido, it was just the human touch. But why was he starving for that? Didn't he cuddle with his daughters, wouldn't they sit on his lap, hug him, give him kisses. I'm serious here and without innuendo, this is just normal behaviour as far as I see it. It has been different at certain times or perhaps still is within some religious communities (I guess), but this seems to be about a normal 'modern' family?

One of the most poignant pieces J have ever read!

Beautifully written, complicated, different. It being me, I wish they could have found a way to more fully reconcile, but I'm not criticizing. The story stands on its own--a great one. I'm sorry you're not writing anymore.

I didn't understand the first chapter and was reluctant to read the second chapter. Part 2 was more revealing and gave me some insight to the MC's thinking. Chapter 3 wrapped the whole thing up with a nice bow on top. very well written. I enjoyed it - 5 stars

Wow

A long, slow death, well-told.

It's a bit of a shame, I am not really a RAAC-whore, but, she seemed the type that a reconciliation at some cost was possible. She made good effort.

They had shared realizations about their lives to build upon, but really only to make something new, a hybrid of their current predicament, the state of their family, and who they might want to be, and who they wanted to be to each other. Who they had been was definitely gone.

He could never give up wanting who she had been.

Fair enough.

Good luck to them.

Multiple rereads and I discover the falling out of a tree analogy. It could not be more true. Still one of my favorites.

I don't know what to feel about John, admiration or disdain or both.

I have a hard time giving a high rating to a story that is nothing but misery. Sorry

Called it. The previous installment was unimaginative and so needlessly depressing despite all the cliched stupidity that the main characters had to exist as (sorry, no actual dynamic characters here, just consistently dumb ones that can find lower levels to stoop to each second they exist) just so that the all-so-repetitive plot could even progress, and didn't leave me with any reason to continue the story onto the next chapters. My wife had to give the reason to try.

And it seems I won the bet. Because apparently she didn't enjoy any part of story at all. Any. Part. And that's saying something, since she is a romance and drama reader through and through since she was a teen, and has been the influence to push me to become an avid reader and frustrated writer earlier in my life.

I don't know what substances readers and authors were abusing in 2014, but apparently it screwed up their judgement so badly. Even the newer generations are rating this supposedly "epic" story to oblivion. I don't know what human beings the author was ever exposed to, but he/she needed to get out more. Possibly out of the primary circle-jerk crowd an egotistical writer would usually hang out with.

Fantastically heartbreaking.

Well i dragged all the way through this fucking mess and came away with what a stupid story and conclusion . A huge waste of reading and felt stupid for reading it. People are messed up and that includes the writer. Just a total joke to think this would even be a reality in all phases presented here for relationships. Just totally not realistic in any sense of real life.

Well, I fucking regret reading this. I'd hoped he was at least dying of cancer or something to make it worthwhile. A pathetic stay for the children story that is so unrealistic it boggles the mind. Do you think they can grow up healthy in that kind of fucked up environment? Not a chance in hell.

Thank you. So well done. You left a hole in my heart--and I'm glad you did. The best ending, and very real and human rising out of the ashes of the worst of humanity. I'm such a fan.

Very difficult story to follow, all over the place really, I'm more than willing to hep edit if you write one in the future. But thank you for your hard work.

Thanks for your hard work, I really liked this, it is realistic especially the emotional conflicts, -I know from experience! Even better is that it’s generated so many unrealistic BTB comments from the group that are so macho they hide behind “anonymous“ 😂. Hope you write some more when you get time.