All Comments on 'A Bus Journey'

Ho hum.

Worshipper622 - Thanks for your comments.

Yes, a sense of sex in public and perhaps some unknown voyeurism occurring as well. Nice build up, could have built in a spooning sex, too.

Next story could be a couple who observed them.

you should find an editor as your story is hard to read using wrong words and tenses but keep trying

As someone suggested, perhaps working with an editor would make this better. Great concept, but lack of dialog and long paragraphs make it difficult to read.

Venus