by BethSanMartino
If this was your first effort, kudos. A fine first time story. Keep at it!
Get an editor and learn to use spell check at the very least. It shows fast when in the second paragraph "B cub" which should be "B cup" doesn't bode well for the remainder of the story.
One small spelling error? Really?
So one word did not bode well for you on my story. Geez
Beth
There are always those that look for the mistakes. There are some that don't care. Write about what turns you on. Draw it out. And in time it's a natural. Good effort.
I liked the story and the mix of different play they have. Critics will always shoot first but don't let them sway you from writing more. It get's easier as you progress.
wow Beth, for a 1st effort, it was really good, i even pictured myself crawling behind her(u) going to the bathroom room, totally hot when she opened her legs and started peeing in front of him then asking him to wipe!
please add more would love to read more
Hot...wet...horny!
How I love a woman like this. Great story. I love how she makes her needs obvious to the bashful gentleman. Only suggestion I would have is for her to rise after pissing on him and his cum filling her and then lick him clean. Oh and one more thing.....write more!!!
Next time does she find a couple? I love naughty bi action. ;-)
Nadine