All Comments on 'A Cold Night'

Good story overall, but the grammatical errors draw away from the story, making it harder to read

The story concept itself seems to be pretty good, but the writing is rather poor. Maybe you need to write, let the work get cold, and then come back and self-edit it. Or maybe you need to have someone else come in and edit it.

-- KK in Texas

Grammar is very poor and distracting from the story itself with verbs in every tense imaginable. Try reading the story aloud - often hearing it makes it much more obvious than writing and reading it, since a spell-checker can't catch a real word (such as steal instead of stole).

But slow down and take your time! There were moments in your story that I had to stop and think about what you were trying to say. That REALLY screws up the flow to your story, not to mention when you say she turned around watching, (I think that is how you phrased it) it should be something like she looked around watching for danger or something like that! Its STILL a great story, just hard to read!

But needs definite work on the grammar, punctuation. The dialogue should be in "quotes." It would make it so much easier to read. And editing! The overall story is good. I love dragons!

I don't know if many of you have read a story by someone who is desparately trying to learn english. But They kinda stick out because of their "bad grammar" because they use the wrong tenses and because they are working out this language through their own. It is really beautiful to know that these people want to know english and are working at it so desparately. I commend them for trying and in many cases doing an excellent job of it.

The more you write... the better your english will become and maybe someone could offer to help you learn better. Kinda like an english speaking editor of your stories. That would help you learn very well. Good luck and keep up the writing.

Gaea

i loved the story, even though your grammar made it hard to read. i also like the idea of a drakanoid.(did i spell it right?)

This is a good start to your writing. However, I would suggest that you get someone to help you edit it. In addition, I think you rushed into the sex to soon.

KEEP WRITING you will get better and better.

I love stories of dragons and human love, this was just so cute. Keep writing, I hope you write some more about the drakonis.

It was a cute story but there are alot of grammatical and other mistakes. It makes it harder to read. I would see if you can get someone to read it over for you before you submit it. You can request an editor also through the site. Good luck.

The general outline was a good one, grammar errors and the speech was a little strained. I see potential in this, could have been an amazing piece of writing to be honest, I like the story, interesting, love the descriptions. Drop me a line, I could really edit for you and add a few things. Seriously, you have amazing potential here.

English (real English ) is not your first language ,the grammar mistakes made for hard reading . The story line was very immature [Monster rescues girl (???????) then instantly girl fall in love with monster (???????) monster takes turns with oral sex before screwing her .........monster asks girl to live with him in desert all alone .she says YES (??????? !!!!!!?????))))) and they are happy ........HUH WHAT ???? very sophomoric.......

Stephen J

Even though english obviously isn't DirtyDees first language you could offer to help instead of trying to take her , his head! Isn't this the place for amateurs ?Even though the stories are in english I doubt that all of the readers are english, including me.

You crushed me anom with your comment.

I was working up the courage to post my first story, actually wrote a paragraph that eventually made sense,took a break and stumbled on your comment.How lucky am i?

But Im'not giving up , DirtyDee you are my inspartion for courage.

I loved your story cause it was adventurous I loved your feisty Jill ,and not all storys have to be series.

Keep up the good work.

But needs editing

Loved the whole idea of this story!

I’m guessing that English isn’t your native language, so it was a little difficult to read. But English is my native language and I don’t write real well myself. Which is part of the reason why I have never tried to get a story here. I find it rather inspiring that you did! I just can‘t handle the criticism well enough to make the attempt myself.

As I said, loved the whole idea of this story! Keep writing, maybe find someone willing to help you with the editing and you will likely get better... your writing will get better, because your ideas (if they are anywhere near as good as this story) are already quite good.