A Cuckold's Diary Ch. 28

"That's it, Sally. Cum for me. Cum for your lover. I want to feel you feel good. Give that to me. I know you save it for me, so now it's time. You look so beautiful like this. Cum in my arms."

She was panting now. Her body was shaking with a hundred tiny spasms, and her left hand was rubbing his shoulder in the way I recognized from when she used to cum with me.

Then she looked at me and said, "I wanted you to see this." Nothing more. She simply turned back to him, kissed the top of his head as he sucked on her nipple, and came.

It looked like a huge orgasm. She jumped, spasmed, grunted, gasped and her eyes rolled into the back of her head, leaving just the whites showing as she came. Later, Ted said it wasn't nearly as powerful as her first one, but only he was there for that one. For me, I saw my wife lose it completely in her lover's arms.

Ted has said many times that the most intimate gift Sally gives him is to cum with him. "Everything else is mechanical," he says, "but when she lets go and cums it is a private thing -- the MOST private thing. If you are ashamed of anything, be ashamed that she cums with me, and not with you."

I THINK I thought about that as I watched my wife orgasm, as I watched her experience pleasure she no longer shares with me; pleasure she really never got with me. Maybe not; maybe I only thought about it later, as I replayed it in my mind. I do know that I stood there, masturbating, as Sally gave Ted her most intimate gift right in front of my eyes.

As her orgasm subsided, the lovers kissed and held each other. Gentle, post-coital cuddling and affection; one of the things Sally likes most about her lover. I stood there stroking my erection, afraid to make a sound for fear of disturbing the happy, satisfied couple.

When they finally moved, Sally looked at Ted and said, "Dinner?" Ted nodded enthusiastically, and Sally got out of bed, walking right by me. As she gathered her clothes, two men watched her every naked move.

"Your wife has the most beautiful tits, doesn't she?" he asked.

That question scrambled my brain, and I nearly came. Who was that man to be commenting to ME on my wife's tits? Oh right, he's her lover -- he can compliment her on her body, and she loves it when he does. And how does he know what my wife's tits look like? Right again -- after 15 years as her lover, he knows her tits better, more intimately, than anyone - even me. And how dare he make such a crude comment to me? As I stood there playing with my penis after watching her cum in his arms, the truth of the only possible answer was almost more than I could bear: because I'm a cuckold, and we all know it.

Can a loving wife become so comfortable cuckolding her husband that she enjoys all of it -- the sex with her lover AND the humiliation of her husband? Yes, she can. It takes time, and love, and communication, but it is possible. My wife cuckolds me as comfortably as she holds my hand when we walk together.

Which made our walk to the car and to the restaurant an exercise in competing values... and priorities.

When we were all dressed, and I tamed my hard-on enough to fit it in my pants, we walked together through the hotel, toward the parking lot. It was clear Sally was torn: she was in the middle of a date with her lover, but walking in public she knew she needed to make clear that she was with me. So she held my hand, and brushed against his at every opportunity.

When we got to our car, I unlocked it... and waited. Ted opened the back door for his girlfriend, then climbed into the back seat next to her. I thought she would protest, but she didn't. They didn't make out during the short ride to the restaurant, but I know they held hands.

The hostess seated Sally first, and Ted sat next to her at the table. I sat across from her, and we all ordered drinks. When they arrived, I offered a toast -- to the two of them. They looked into each other's eyes, clinked their glasses and drank.

Dinner was surreal. Oh, we were all G-rated in our behavior and appearance, but I sat there thinking that the two of them had just had sex for an hour and a half, and Ted's sperm were now swimming in my wife. I thought of her saying proudly that she was going to fuck him until he came in her, and of her calling me in to watch her cum in his arms. I don't know how I was able to swallow anything I ate; I do know I didn't taste it. But the conversation was surprisingly, achingly normal, and once again I realized that Sally and Ted are lovers, not just fuck-buddies. They enjoy spending time together and, as Ted has said many times, I am simply irrelevant to them when they are together. And that's how I felt as we ate: there, but not there. Sally's husband, but not her lover. The man she would go home with when her date was over, but no one to be bothered with while she and he were close.

It was 7:15 by the time we left the restaurant. I didn't know what Ted's schedule was, or when he had to leave, but as soon as we got back in the car -- they sat together in back again -- Ted moved close to Sally and began kissing her. They made out the whole way back to the hotel, and I had a feeling he wasn't ready to say goodbye quite yet!

When we got to the room, Sally went to the bathroom. I followed Ted as he went to the bedroom, but I stood at the door and watched as he quickly shed his clothes. This was something we hadn't done before, coming back to the room after a meal.

"This is really strange for me," I said. "I don't know what to do now."

Naked, his half-hard cock pointing at me, Ted slid into their bed. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "Now you GO AWAY. That's what you do."

I don't think Ted has ever spoken to me that way before. Honestly, I don't think anyone has ever spoken to me that way before. I bristled, and for a brief moment thought about responding. Then I remembered who I am, and why we were there... and I actually bowed my head as I sheepishly made my way down the hall to the living room.

Sally came out of the bathroom. She saw me standing in the living room, then looked into the bedroom and saw Ted lying naked on the bed. Without so much as a word to me, she walked to her lover and closed the door behind her.

I wanted to be angry. I wanted to be insulted. Damn, no one talks to me that way -- not without suffering the consequences. But as I stood there trying to formulate my response, I heard Sally gasp. A sex gasp. And all I could think to do was pull down my pants and sit down outside the bedroom door, hoping to hear more.

Her vibrator started up, and they were at it again. Ted responding to her excitement with his own, and my wife losing herself in her lover's embrace. I heard it build, and as I rubbed my penis Ted's words rang in my ears: "Now you GO AWAY."

Suddenly, in addition to the hum of the vibrator and the moans of pleasure from my wife, I heard a different sound: the bang-bang-bang of the headboard against the wall. Ted was fucking her... again! He lasted only a few minutes, and the sounds of his orgasm were quickly followed by Sally's.

I've never cum three times in a day in my whole life, but Ted did today. Sally has never cum three times with me in our whole marriage, but she did with Ted today. And I did my job: I went away.

Ted left a little while later, apologizing to me that he didn't have time to sit and talk with me. I said I understood, and I thanked him for taking such good care of my wife.

"It was my pleasure," he said as he gathered his phone and briefcase. "You have NO IDEA what a pleasure it was, and you never will. Bye."

I sat on the floor of the living room, leaning against the couch and masturbating like a man possessed. Sally walked out to me a few minutes later, and sat in the chair facing me.

"You told me you were going to fuck Ted until he came in you, and you did," I said to her.

"I know," she responded.

"You ignored me for an hour and a half while you had sex with him. You didn't say a word to me, you didn't include me, for an hour and a half."

"I know," she said. "You said it would be okay, and I believed you."

"Then you called me in to watch you cum in his arms. You NEVER let me see you cum, but you called me in and told me you wanted me to watch you cum with Ted. Can you tell me why you did that?"

Sally thought for a minute, then looked at me sitting on the floor, masturbating. I think she decided this was no time to pull punches -- that I didn't WANT her to pull her punches. So she said, "I wanted to make you feel shame. And small. And inadequate."

I looked into my wife's eyes. I saw love, understanding and, believe it or not, compassion.

"Is that really what you wanted me to feel?" I said, gasping as I jerked off.

"Yes."

"It worked. I am ashamed of myself... what I did, what I didn't do. I'm not much of a man, am I?" I grunted.

"No, you're not. And I'm ashamed of you, too.

"But I love you."

I looked into my wife's eyes, searching for hesitation, or discomfort, or role-playing. I saw none of those. As I had the only sex I ever get, rubbing my own penis, I saw how she sees me: with shame, and with love. And I came.

Sally didn't make any move to help me, or even to encourage me. She let me make myself cum in front of her as I relived my cuckolding. HER cuckolding of me.

When I stopped shaking, she got up, came over to me, gave me a kiss on the top of my head, and headed back to the bedroom. As she turned away she said, "clean up your mess, then come watch TV with me."

I did as she instructed, and eventually followed her into the bedroom. When I sat down on the bed she put her arms around me, kissed me gently on the lips and said, "I love you. I don't WANT you, but I love you."

I thanked her for loving me, and said I loved her, too. Then we watched NCIS.

*

Comments welcome; flames cheerfully ignored.

Cuckold Paul