by KayVamp
splendid imagination and a good telling, despite the complexity of keeping characters and hierarchies organized and on the page. i agree with an earlier comment -- a little more scene-setting. this could be taking place in anything from a stone medieval castle to a surburban condo. a little more explanation of the relative rank of each of the characters within the hierarchy. and (minor rise of the eyebrow) a little more attention to grammar!!!
Can't wait to see more of your work.
Please keep writing your one of my favorites :)
your story is getting better and better. please keep writing and i promise, lots of us will keep reading!!
please enjoy some of the summer and relax a bit. :)