All Comments on 'A Demon's Embrace Ch. 04'

You need an editor, BADLY! Your story is very good but you have quite a few issues that disturb the flow of the story and keeps readers from truly enjoying your work. When you get an editor, have them to not only polish your finished work but to also help you understand your missteps. Below are things that you can work on:

Missing words within sentences

Misspelled words

Words used in the wrong context

Using incorrect tense (past, present or future tense)

Incomplete sentence structure

Misuse of adjectives

Proper editing makes a good writer, a great one. Good luck!

It's better than the first two chapters. you said you had someone proofreading, but yes you should get someone else because they were making the same mistakes eg he gnarls. As far as I know 'gnarls' is not a word (gnarled as in a tree is). I think you meant snarls and it is constantly corrected as gnarls. A few mistakes I don't mind, but the same ones repeatedly are really annoying.

gnarl

verb (used without object)

to growl; snarl.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gnarls?s=t

Ok then. I've had enough. Way too many mistakes against english as well as logic.