A Demon's Embrace Ch. 04

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"Chris, what is it?" Sarah didn't have to wait for her to answer. When she looks around, she can see where her distress is coming from. Six very large demons surround them. Chris whimpers and cries. She knows what this is. She has gone through it many times over. Each time barely surviving. Sarah takes Chris into her arms and turns for them to walk away. But each move she makes, the demons block them.

"Look, I don't know who you think you are, but please get out of our way!" Sarah demands in a firm tone.

"A human telling demons what to do! Hum, maybe you should learn your place, slave!" A male demon spouts out his contempt.

Sarah shoves the demon away with her foot, making an opening for them to run. The small glimmer of hope is quickly put out by a female demon, who took his place.

"You have guts for a human!" she hisses.

Chris falls to her knees, weeping all over herself. Sarah leans down, pulling her in close. How can I win against a demon, let alone six of them. Her mind races. They'll kill us for sure! We're dead! Her brain wouldn't stop screaming at her. She hugs Chris tightly to her body and screws her eyes shut, waiting for the killing blow. All the while Chris continues to cry, uncontrollably.

Blue and white electrical waves of energy flood over Sarah and Chris. Encasing them within. Popping and snapping sounds cause the demons to step away in shock. Each one looking to the other for some sort of understanding. One of the smaller lizard like male demons reaches out his hand to touch the field. He arches back, reeling with a powerful pain, running through his arm. His screams insight the onlookers to attack. One by one they fall prey to the burning pain causing there bodies to ignite into a consuming flame. Five piles of ash circle the two women, huddling together for protection.

Far off in the distance an explosion of glass. The one demon left alive watches his master swoop down on top of him. He screeches in terror. He falls silent from Lord Asmodeus' claw piercing his throat. Blood gurgles and bubbles out of his gaping mouth. As he fades out of existence, he watches his master consume his soul.

"Please, forgive me, master!" Chris cries, pulling herself out from under a now unconscious Sarah, groveling at his feet.

"Girl, get back to her chambers and wait for us there!" he commands. Without thinking twice, she runs for the castle. Kneeling next to Sarah's languid frame. He gently rolls her over onto her back. Hecate's smoky body lands next to him.

"Ah, yes, very special indeed, my lord!" she grins. "You are the only one who can protect her from the danger she will face in the near future." He turns his confused gaze up to Hecate and then back towards Sarah.

"She has the power to kill demons. What need of protection can she have?" he snaps.

"The kind that can destroy worlds, my lord." she smirks, "And the thing that you called me for is standing at your study window staring at us. He's quite at a lose. He doesn't understand how she can be down here, separate from him."

"I see." Lord Asmodeus glances up at his shattered window and grins.

"He cannot hide from you anymore, my lord!" she chuckles, "Though he may try. He will fail. I guess this concludes my business here?" He gives her a quick nod.

A gentle tug on Sarah's limb, bringing her up into his arms. He spreads his wings, a mighty thrust, flying off into the clear blue sky.

"Good luck, Lord Asmodeus!" she destructively laughs, disappearing into a waft of smoke, scorching the grass around her.

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4 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Too bad

Ok then. I've had enough. Way too many mistakes against english as well as logic.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Definition of gnarl (s) used

gnarl

verb (used without object)

to growl; snarl.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gnarls?s=t

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Still spelling

It's better than the first two chapters. you said you had someone proofreading, but yes you should get someone else because they were making the same mistakes eg he gnarls. As far as I know 'gnarls' is not a word (gnarled as in a tree is). I think you meant snarls and it is constantly corrected as gnarls. A few mistakes I don't mind, but the same ones repeatedly are really annoying.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
A Compliment, Coupled With Advice:

You need an editor, BADLY! Your story is very good but you have quite a few issues that disturb the flow of the story and keeps readers from truly enjoying your work. When you get an editor, have them to not only polish your finished work but to also help you understand your missteps. Below are things that you can work on:

Missing words within sentences

Misspelled words

Words used in the wrong context

Using incorrect tense (past, present or future tense)

Incomplete sentence structure

Misuse of adjectives

Proper editing makes a good writer, a great one. Good luck!

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