All Comments on 'A Different Thing Entirely Ch. 02'

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I read it, but it was because I'm so desperate.

The first part had some really interesting elements, and you played it out quite well. There wasn't anything new here except your desire to give the first version a better ending. I don't think it worked.

What, you threw in a few extra mitigating circumstances, added an additional sexual event near the end, some extra 'in and out', and pumped her full of some gelatin that apparently was supposed to have misled our hero.

When Dean drove away saying 'it was another thing altogether' it really was. You tried but failed to fix their marriage.

If you wanted to get them to reconcile you needed to go in a new direction, and here's what you could have done. First, their friendship with the other couple was irreparably broken; her sexual interest and his emotional situation finished that off. Our hero and heroine needed to face that. Second, our hero needed some time away; some time to be lonely, time to be filled with regret and remorse. Third, his wife needed a priority reset; she needed to awaken to just how her husband might have felt, and what she'd done, especially about the 'bikini try on' and subsequent second round of sex. Fourth, she had to find her husband and get to work on the old reclamation project. All of this would have taken a lot of work for you; you would have had to really dig into their emotional states and then find ways to get them to reconnect.

To be sure, I would have been hard pressed to build all the groundwork for a reconciliation, it would have been tiring and tedious to read about his and her deepest thoughts about their marriage, their courtship, the goals they'd once had, and all the trauma they'd have to go through to rebuild. Most Literotica readers would have poured a bucket of piss on you for anything that serious.

Nice try though; I gave you a five for the effort. I hope you're feeling better. By the way have you noticed none of the 'real' LW writers have done anything in months? It's too bad, but they've all gotten bored and drifted away.

Some time ago I stopped reading this guy's posting because all foolish and sick. This one proved it. Sorry I ignored by better judgement.

What a bunch of losers. Stupid, selfish, fools. One and all. It makes it hard for the reader to care about the outcome.

...what I would have thought you would have come up with but thanks for the add on. It was a fun ride. Btw - it's not "fucking" ... It's "damn" :-)