by goodguy13
I sure wish my wife's sister would come check in on me while I was sick. She often flirts with me calling me her sugar lumps anyway. I'm sure we'd have a lot of fun if we ever got together. 😉
Reminds me of a time when I had an itching rash in my groin. My sister-in-law noticed I was trying to scratch it discreetly and asked me what the problem was and eventually talked me into lowering my jeans to show her but eventually was talked into stripping from the waist down and allowing her to properly examine me. Thankfully I managed not to get hard in front of her.
This a good short story about a chance encounter quickie.
True this ain't incest.
It should have been entitled, "The 15-Minute Quickie."
Maybe your writing style was affected by your illness and everything ... LOL.
It is possible that this story could be reworked, as the basic plot does offer a lot of promise.
Author, please take everyone's remarks in stride and soon you will see what makes a storyline acceptable to readers.
Good Luck!
But I do have to agree with comment number 1. Unfortunately, these mistakes do distract from the story. It's a shame as you are quite good (so don't give up). My advice is next time, just get someone to proof read your story afterwards.
Please learn the difference between 'through' and 'threw', and 'fare' and 'fair'. Then pay attention to tenses. You can't write a whole story saying 'I WAS in bed' and 'She WALKED in', then suddenly switch to 'she 'WIPES off' and 'she KISSES me'