A Full Circle

"So this is what sex is really like."

"Oh God yes."

We drifted off to sleep, and I awoke probably a couple of hours later to find that Erin had decided that she wanted more. She was fondling me, her breath warm on my balls, and when she got me hard, she simply swung her leg over my hips, inserted me into her and started her hips moving.

I swear to God, we made love at least three times a day the entire honeymoon. Towards the end I told Erin that I thought that I needed Viagra, because I wasn't sure I could get it up much more. She just laughed and told me to leave that part to her. That was her job, and she started in on my cock again with her mouth.

The next three years went by wonderfully. Erin's sex drive didn't seem to change one iota from our honeymoon. Obviously we weren't making love three times a day, but we made love virtually every day, or every other day. Erin did tone down her noise during sex, because we didn't want the kids to hear us, but on the weekends that both kids were gone, she let loose as if to make up for it. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have found a partner like Erin, and I told her so – as many times as it occurred to me, which was quite often.

Surprisingly, at least to me, Erin and Lynne were still quite good friends. They ran together every morning at some god-awful hour while I stumbled around the house and fixed breakfast for the kids. I'm sure they talked, but what about I had no idea.

After about two years we had decided that I should adopt Sam. Scott had had absolutely no contact with her, and hadn't paid a dime in child support since the day the divorce was final. We asked Sam if she would like that, and she was quite thrilled – a daddy who wanted her.

The adoption was final about six months before our third wedding anniversary, and we celebrated with a trip to Disneyland.

On our third anniversary, we were going to go away for a few days, but Erin had to testify in one of her cases, so we decided to put it off for a week or so, until we both had our calendars clear of court dates.

About 3:00pm, Dan Bloom, my boss burst into my office, told me to grab my hat and come with him. Dan took off running down the hall, and I did my best to catch up with him, but Dan was really in a hurry, and I barely kept up with him. I followed him out the door, and he jumped into a squad car, motioning me to get in. As soon as I was seated he took off, hardly letting me get the damn door closed. Dan hit the red lights and siren before we were even out of the parking lot, then hollered at me over the siren.

"There's been an accident, a bad one, and Erin's hurt. They are life-flighting her to the trauma center. I don't know any more."

I shut my mouth and let Dan drive. As we approached the hospital, I could see the life-flight chopper coming in for a landing, and by the time we got actually up to the emergency entrance, I could see someone being wheeled in through the doors on a gurney. Actually, wheeled in was a misstatement. The medical personnel were running as hard as they could while pushing the gurney.

Dan dropped me off, and I ran into the emergency room, only to find that Erin had already been taken up to the operating room. Apparently they had radioed ahead, and a full trauma team had been standing by with an OR already set aside for her. Nobody could give me any information about Erin's condition, so I wandered back out to the emergency room waiting area, and sat down. Probably ten or fifteen minutes later, Dan came in, looked around, and when he saw me, he came over and sat down.

"I've talked to the paramedics in the chopper, and to a couple of the guys that were on the scene. Erin is in pretty bad shape. Apparently what happened is that a tanker truck came around that big hairpin curve on highway 91, and either was going too fast, or had a mechanical failure. In any event, the damn thing overturned, spilling fuel all over the road. Some woman in a car hit one of the trailers pretty hard, pretty much smashing up her car. Erin must have either seen the accident happen, or came on the scene almost immediately. She got the driver out and dragged her behind her squad car, then went back for a toddler that was in a car seat. She got him out, but the fire was already pretty well started, and as she was running away from the car with the kid, the whole shooting match blew up."

"Apparently Erin was hit by a jagged piece of flying metal. She was hit hard enough that it went right through the back of her vest, breaking several ribs, and imbedding itself in her chest. She was never conscious as far as the paramedics know, but she was shocky as hell, and they couldn't get the metal out, as they were afraid that they would cause more damage in doing it."

I took this all in, then just sat back thinking about Erin and our life together, hoping that the doctors could somehow fix this.

A nurse finally came down and told me that Erin was in surgery, which I already knew, and was expected to be for several hours.

I used my cell phone to call Lynne, explained the situation to her, and asked if she would please pick up the kids and tell them that Erin had been injured. I really didn't want the kids just sitting in the hospital not knowing what was going on. Lynne immediately assured me that she would, and that she would take them to my house and fix them dinner. She felt that it would be better for them to be home, rather than at her condo.

Three or four hours later, a very tired looking doctor came into the waiting room, looked around, and came over to us.

"Sean O'Conner?"

"Yes. How is she?"

"Let's go into my office."

I dutifully followed him down the hall until he took me into a small office, filled with diplomas, pictures, and file cabinets.

When I had settled myself, he was silent for a few minutes, then finally told me that despite everything they had tried to do, the damage had just been too great. Erin had died on the operating table. He also told me a number of other things, the only one that actually sank in was that even if Erin had lived, she probably would have been a paraplegic, the metal fragment that went into her back had also broken her back, causing severe spinal cord damage. The last thing he told me was that Erin had awakened for a moment before they had put her under, and said: "Tell Mick and the kids that I love them all."

I was devastated; there isn't another word for it. I stumbled out of the office, found Dan and told him my news. He immediately told me that I was to take as much time off as I needed, then offered to drive me home. I declined, just asking him to take me back to the office so I could get my car.

After I picked up my car, I started home, to give the news to my kids. I didn't even know how to tell them.

The funeral service was not what I really wanted. I wanted it to be private, with basically just the kids and I, and a few close friends. But when I found out that virtually every peace officer in the county, and a number of them from outside the county were planning on coming, I gave in.

The church was packed, with probably another four or five hundred outside, unable to get into the church. Neither Erin nor I had been particularly religious, so the officiating priest was just the unofficial chaplain for the sheriff's department.

I had wanted to have Erin cremated, and her ashes scattered at sea, but her parents and Lynne persuaded me that it would be better for Sam if she had some place to go close by where she could more or less commune with her mother if she needed it.

The procession to the cemetery was a little mind-boggling. There was a motorcycle escort of probably 400 police motorcycles, with the addition of every off-duty squad car available (including a large number of on-duty cars as well.) All in all I would guess that there was something on the order of 700 or 800 officers attending the funeral, as well as a couple of hundred civilians.

Erin had a flag draped coffin, and when the entire thing was over, the Sheriff, at my request, presented the flag to Sam, who immediately broke down into tears.

Predictably, Scott didn't show up at the funeral, nor did he call Sam. I wondered how in the hell could a father abandon his child so completely, but never, to this day, did I get an answer.

A couple of weeks after the funeral, Lynne called me at the office and asked if Erin had ever talked to Sam about sex, and what was going to be happening to her body in the near future.

"I have no idea. Erin and I had talked about it, and Erin was certainly planning on doing it very soon, but I just don't know if she ever did."

"With your permission, the next time both kids stay with me, I will find out, and if she didn't, I will save you from embarrassing both yourself and Sam, and do it for you."

Of course I agreed.

When Lynne brought the kids back on Sunday night, it was a bit late, and I shooed them up to bed.

"Well, had Erin talked to Sam?"

Lynne laughed. "I wish that I had known as much about my body, and about sex as Sam does when I was thirteen. I'm not sure that she doesn't know as much or more about sex and her body as I do."

"Erin did a wonderful job. She found a book some marriage counselor has written. The author is also a sex therapist, and a clinical psychologist. I looked at the book for an hour or so, and it is extremely well written, although it is a bit graphic. She also has written a book for much older teens and young adults that I wish I had read before we got married. Our sex life might have been much different."

The next year, or eighteen months, went by rather rapidly. I was either immersed in work or the kids. I went to every single event either of the kids had, whether it was baseball games, martial arts tournaments, or just parent-teacher meetings, I was there. I even volunteered to be a chaperone at their dances.

Lynne had also made herself part of the Sam's life. She had always been a part of Sean's, but now she really made an effort to be part of Sam's life also. I saw her at every single event either one of the kids were at. The kids loved it. They had two people, who even though they weren't married, were always there cheering them on, and just in general being there for them.

Lynne had become "Mom" to Sam. Early on it had gradually moved from "Lynne" to "Mommy Lynne" to "Mom Lynne", then to "Mom" as the trauma from her mother's death grew a little more distant.

The kids were fourteen, and Lynne and I were two of the chaperones at a dance for the kids. It didn't require much, just being there, and making sure the kids weren't doing anything outrageous. Outrageous being defined as dancing to close, or "dirty dancing."

We were watching the kids dance, when Lynne mentioned that I was going to have to be prepared for the two of them starting to date before too long.

"Christ, I'm not really ready for that yet. The pimply faced kid showing up for Sam, and Sean wanting to go out with the girl who is dressing too much like an adult for my tastes."

"It's going to happen, Mick. Just be prepared."

There was a silence for a minute or two, then Lynne asked: "So why haven't you started dating again?"

I was quiet for a moment or two, then replied: "I have had two lovely wives, each of them as much as I could ever ask for. I don't think that I could ever get that lucky again. Besides, I have two wonderful children to raise, I really don't have time to go out running around chasing women, none of whom could realistically measure up to my previous wives."

Lynne's mouth almost dropped open for a moment, then she said: "I didn't know you felt that way about me. I thought you hated me for what I did."

I looked at Lynne for a moment then replied.

"I never hated you. I actually forgave you. I tried to explain this to both you and the counselor. I just could not get those images of you with Scott out of my head. It was like the words to a song that you keep hearing in your mind, over and over. It just wouldn't go away. I didn't stop loving you. I just couldn't live with you, in fact I had real problems even being in the same room with you, at least at first."

Lynne was quiet for quite awhile.

When the music changed to a slow dance, she looked at me, her eyes a little teary, and asked me if I would dance with her.

We did, and it was like old times. I am not a good dancer, but both Erin and Lynne had been very good. Good enough to make up for my two left feet.

We danced a few times, and I enjoyed it tremendously. The feel of a woman in my arms made me forget that I really didn't know how to dance.

We brought the kids home, as Lynne had left her car at my house so we could all go together. I shooed the kids up to bed, and asked Lynne if she wanted some tea or coffee.

"I really would prefer a glass of wine if you have it."

"You know me." I joked. "I always have a couple of bottles of wine stashed around."

I opened the wine, poured us each a glass, and we settled down in the living room. After twenty or thirty minutes, Lynne finished her wine, and got up to go to the bathroom. When she came back, she poured herself another glass, then instead of seating herself on the couch where she had been sitting, she came over and sat on the ottoman in front of my chair.

She didn't say anything for a few minutes, just sitting there playing with her wine glass, not looking at me, and seeming a bit uncomfortable.

Finally she said: "Mick, please don't say anything until I am done."

I nodded.

"I'm still in love with you. I would give anything in this world, except Sean, that that night had never happened, but it did. I have tried to date other men, but it didn't work. There just wasn't anything there. Oh I even went to bed with two men, and the sex was okay, but the emotional issues it caused were just not worth it. I did that shortly after you and Erin were married, but I discovered that I could not have sex with anyone but someone I loved. I have never loved anyone but you, not even close."

"I want to ask you one question. Is there even a chance that we could get back together? If you say no, I will respect that, and never ask again, but I feel as though I have to ask. I'm sorry if this causes problems for you, or causes you to remember what happened, but I don't know what else to do."

I was silent for quite awhile – probably five or ten minutes. My mind was remembering the good times that Lynne and I had had. But for some reason I just couldn't remember the pictures that had been in my mind. I had thought that the scene of Lynne fucking Scott was indelibly imprinted in my mind, never to be erased, but it was gone. I knew what had happened but the pictures were gone. I don't know if it was just time, or if it was that things much more important had erased them.

"Mick, I'm sorry. I won't bring this up again."

I stretched out my arm as I leaned forward and caressed her cheek.

"No, I am not rejecting you. I was just remembering all the good times we had. It seems that the movie that was always playing in my head has gone. I don't know where or how, but it is gone."

"Would you like to try again? Maybe this time it will work."

"Oh God."

With that Lynne leaned over and put her head in my lap, sobbing. Her tears were just pouring down the side of her face that I could see, and she was shaking she was crying so hard.

"Oh God please."

I caressed her back with one hand, and wiped the tears away with the other.

"If we are going to try again, then it is going to be a bit hard with all the waterworks."

Lynne laughed shakily, and sat up, wiping her eyes for a moment. Then she stood up, and resettled herself on my lap, buried her head on my shoulder, her arms around me, hanging on to me like a drowning woman.

We sat like that for probably fifteen or twenty minutes, then I gently pushed Lynne back until I could see her face. Her mascara was a mess, black streaks running down her face, her eyes were red, and I could see tears threatening to start running down her face again.

I kissed her softly, then again, and her lips were soft, inviting and her mouth opened and her tongue darted out hesitantly, to meet mine.

We "made out" for a few more minutes, then Lynne reached for my hand, took it, and placed it firmly on her breast, holding it there with her own hand.

I looked at her for a few moments, then leaned forward the few inches I needed to kiss her again. As I did, I slid my hand around her breast, caressing first one breast, then the other.

When I broke the kiss, I looked at her again, then gently urged her to stand up with my hands and arms, and as soon as she did, I stood up, put my arm around her, and guided her in front of me down the hallway toward what had once been our bedroom.

When we got into the bedroom, I stopped the gently pressure of my hand on her back, wrapped my arms around her, and begin kissing her neck, while moving my hands up to cup her breasts. It wasn't long before my fingers had the buttons to her blouse undone, and I slipped the blouse off her shoulders, taking just a moment to undo her bra and slide that off also.

A few minutes later, Lynne was entirely naked, her clothes strewn on the floor. I simply picked her up and deposited her on the bed, then started letting my own clothes fall on the floor beside hers.

We lay beside each other, looking into each other's eyes for quite some time, our hands doing all the talking we needed to. Eventually I kissed my way down from her lips and neck to her breasts, at the same time cupping her pussy with my hand. I didn't use my fingers, but rather pressed the palm of my hand against her, rubbing softly, then harder with just the palm of my hand. While I was doing this, I sucked one nipple into my mouth, sucking on it, nibbling gently, then switching to the other nipple. Lynne arched her back as I did, pushing the breast I was paying attention to further up, and making soft noises.

Finally, I was unable to wait any longer, and positioned myself between her legs. Her hand came down and grasped me, guiding me into her, and hissing as I slid into her.

Fortunately, Lynne came almost immediately, because I wasn't very far behind. I collapsed on top of her, holding myself up a bit with my arms, not wanting to have all my weight on her. We stayed like that for a few moments, then I eased myself off as my softening cock fell out. We cuddled, then Lynne burrowed her head onto my shoulder, holding me very tightly for a very long time. Eventually we fell asleep without having said a word.

The next morning I awoke to Lynne leaning over me, kissing me softly. We made love again, not hurriedly, just with a great deal of loving.

We showered together, just like old times, got dressed, and went out to start our morning. We talked a bit, but the only thing of importance that we talked about was that the old movie running in my head was gone, and it hadn't affected our love making, and it didn't appear that it would again.

An hour or two later, Sean came into the kitchen to find Lynne and I sitting at the kitchen table, talking.

"Mom! What are you doing here? Did you spend the night?"

Lynne turned slightly red, and replied; "Yes, I did."

Sean thought this over for a few moments.

"Does this mean that you and Dad are getting back together again?"

"Your father and I will have to talk about that, and then we will see."

We were married for the second time about a month later. Sean and Sam were our witnesses, and as the same judge that had married Erin and I was officiating again, they were once more declared to be 18 for the day.

We were married on a Friday, and as soon as the deed was done, we all climbed into the car, and took the two kids to a ten day summer camp, and we went on a honeymoon.