A Joke - Another Version

"OK baby, I'll answer the phones from now. Give me a hug."

I took her in my arms and held her close. She was so much like her mother it was frightening sometimes and I loved her very much. She'd always been my baby.

"Bye daddy." she told me as she went out the door to her car. I waved as she pulled of the driveway and headed up the street. Then I returned to my lonely drink and thought about this new direction.

I finally decided I would wait for the results of the lie detector tests before making a decision. I figure I couldn't trust the testing of one of the jokesters to verify their story but I didn't think there was any way for both to fool the machine. The morning after I received an early phone call from Mary telling me that Flo had agreed to my conditions for the lie detector test and she'd gotten Roger to go along with it as well. Roger had agreed to pay for both tests to show his remorse for his suggesting the joke to Flo. Mary also provided me with the name and phone number of the test administrator.

My anger at Flo for participating in the joke had cooled somewhat, but I felt so depressed that if she loved me and didn't have sex with Roger, how could she have participated in such a demeaning joke on me. I was slowly coming to the conclusion that maybe her love for me was gone despite her protestations about wanting to get back together with me. I was scared when I thought it may come down to a simple decision whether I wanted a loveless marriage if the tests proved there was no sex.

Flo had tried to call me again a few times but I just hung up when I heard her voice and she soon got the message. I weakened every time I heard her talk. After that, all her communication with me was through her sister and I received daily calls from her; mostly about how sorry Flo was and she wanted to come home but I kept telling them I wouldn't make a decision until after the lie detector tests.

About this time our son, Eric, called me to beg me to forgive his mother and allow her home again. I tried to explain what had happened and why I was having such a hard time with his mother's actions but he couldn't relate to my pain and kept insisting I let her come home. I realized that I might end up in an estranged relationship with my son if it turned out that we divorced. It was some comfort to know that our daughter, Patty, better understood what I was going through and was more supportive.

After getting the information from Mary on the name of the administrator of the test, I called some friends in legal and police matters and found out that the guy was used frequently by the police and was assured he would conduct an impartial test. Calling, I made an appointment to see him the next day. I found out he'd already been contacted by Flo and Roger and was scheduled to give the test to each of them in two days. They had both provided my name as an interested party with authority to control the questions to be asked.

The following day I explained to my boss that I needed to take some more personal time and went down to the test administrator's office. His name was Jack Harlan and I explained to him what the problem was and I needed closure via his testing to determine if Flo and Roger had sex or not. We discussed the questions he would ask and he told me that he would ask the same questions of both Flo and Roger and compare the responses he received from both of them then issue me a final written report. He agreed that having both of them take the test and comparing the results would provide assurance that there was no sex if test results for both were in agreement. If they weren't then the tests were invalid and I could probably never be trust her again and divorce was imminent. If the tests showed they were both lying I could start divorce proceedings immediately. It was a no brainer as far as I was concerned.

I went back to work feeling more assured I would get to the bottom of this soon as to whether there was sex involved. However, I knew in my heart that hard decisions were coming.

The next three days I went to work as usual and stayed late to catch up on my work and to avoid going home to an empty house. I ate my meals at a nearby diner and when I got home, I had a drink of scotch and then went to my cold empty bed. Sleep was hard to come by and I really missed Flo and the warmth and love she had brought to our marriage before the jokes started.

On Friday I received a call from Jack Harlan that he was putting the results of the testing in the mail that morning and I should probably have it the next day. He didn't tell me the results, just that I should be pleased. I thought to myself he could have told me the full results over the phone and that what he did was a bastard thing to do. Now I had to wait.

The next day a courier delivered the envelope containing the reports and I sat down at the kitchen table to open it with mixed feelings. The envelope contained a summary report of the tests on both Flo and Roger. The report indicated that the results from both tests were in agreement regarding the episode with the handcuffs in that no sex had occurred. Additionally, a question I had the test administrator insert regarding whether any sex had ever occurred between them had negative results.

I breathed a sigh of relief but then thought, "What if I had already pushed her too far?" I guess it was time to sit down and talk with her to see where we were going.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Given it was just a tasteless joke, my pay-back was more than I could have hoped for and I knew they would never forget what they had done, but now I also had the proof I needed to dissolve my fears about Flo's infidelity. I wanted my life back but I wanted to keep my self-respect. If things went badly now I would have never forgiven myself.

Early that evening I called Mary's place and asked to speak to Flo.

"Well, it's about time." Mary responded.

"I only got my copy of the test results today and Flo and I need to talk."

"Were they OK?"

"Yes, they were fine. I guess it was just a bad, tasteless and uncaring joke."

"Well, can't Flo go home now?"

"We need to talk first. The lack of respect she showed me by pulling that joke was too much. We need to talk about our future together. Mary, you remember I made no promises." My demons had got loose again.

"Oh god, I hoped that once you were convinced they weren't lying, it would be over and she could go home."

I could hear Flo gasping in the background as she heard Mary saying what she did.

"I wish it were that simple Mary, but I have a real problem with that so-called joke that goes beyond the big laugh they got out of it, so can we use your house to meet tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure; no problem. I'll leave at whatever time you set up and you can have the house to yourselves."

"Thanks Mary. Can you put her on now?"

"Sure, just a minute."

I heard some murmurings in the background and then Flo came on the phone.

"Jim? Honey, is it you?"

"Yeah, it's me Flo. We need to talk."

"Mary says the test results were OK. Can I come home so we can talk?"

"No, you can't come home yet Flo. I want to meet with you tomorrow afternoon at Mary's place. Is two PM OK?"

I heard a sob and then a faint response.

"That's fine honey. I love you."

"We'll discuss it tomorrow Flo. See you then. Bye." I realized I missed her so much.

As I was hanging up I could hear her crying and I began to feel bad. I knew I had to hang tough on this and see how the talks next day would go. Tomorrow was a Sunday and I hoped to get resolution on my marital problems at our meeting. I knew she would get more questions at church in the morning and people would know we were now separated.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The next afternoon I was at Mary's house at 2 PM on the dot. I had found I couldn't wait at home any longer and left to meet Flo earlier than I should have so I waited around the corner until the designated time. Mary saw me as she drove past on her way out and I think she knew then how much I loved her sister. Flo answered the door when I walked up the steps and I realized she was watching, waiting for me. She looked tired and sad with dark circles under her eyes and in the two weeks since I last seen her she had lost weight. It looked like she was about to put her arms around me; I wanted to hold her as well but I just shook my head as I entered the house. I knew if she had held me that I would have taken her back without properly resolving our problem.

"Hi honey." she spoke softly. "Mary has gone to the mall for a couple of hours so we can talk. Where do you want to sit? I've made coffee. Can I get you some?"

"I guess we can sit at the kitchen table and yes, a cup of coffee is OK."

I followed her into the kitchen and sat down watching her get the coffees. When she had set the cups on the table and I took a sip of mine as she sat down across the table from me.

"Before we begin I'd like to say something." she said. "In the last two weeks I've had a lot of time to think about what occurred, what led up to it and I'm appalled and ashamed of myself for the lack of respect for you as my husband, friend and lover I was exhibiting. I don't know where I was coming from in getting involved in those horrid jokes with Roger. When we made you the butt of those jokes I must have been out of my mind and I want you to know I've started to see a psychologist about how I got into that mind-set."

"I want you to know also that having these two weeks apart and not being able to communicate with you has been the worst time of my life. It's made me realize how much I love you and need you. However, if you decide we've got to separate then I will accept that as punishment for what I've done to you and our marriage. I will always love you no matter what happens. I can only ask you, as my husband, to please forgive me and take me back as your wife. I will make sure you will never regret it if you do."

I had sat there listening as she talked and heard her say the things I knew I had to hear if there was going to be a successful reconciliation between us. If she had gone off on what other people thought about our breaking up or any other meaningless reason to stay together it would have been very difficult for me but I knew in my heart once I sat with her that I would have taken her back no matter what she said. She had gone right to the crux of the problem and had addressed her shortcomings in allowing it to happen and what she was doing to find out why it happened. I remembered then why I'd married her so many years ago. She was forthright and didn't beat about the bush when a problem presented itself and needed to be solved. Now it was my turn to say something.

"I'm remembering Flo." I said and she looked at me apprehensively. "I'm remembering why I married you. You completed me. You made me whole and I never want to forget that."

She was smiling now as I continued.

"Somehow we got off track but I think it's coming back together. I don't need a subservient slave back; I want the woman I married back and I want to get her back home where she belongs so I can feel whole again."

She was getting up from her chair and coming around the table to me with her arms outstretched and a beautiful smile on her face. I stood to meet her and we came together in a frenzied, passionate embrace. Our lips met and our tongues duelled as we hungrily sought to make ourselves one body. Finally, we broke the kiss and I whispered in her ear as she continued to desperately hold on to me.

"I brought my truck in case I decided to bring you home. How long will it take you to get packed and ready to go?"

"If you back your truck up to the garage you'll find all my gear in the bags waiting to be loaded."

I pulled back a little from her and looked at her tear stained face before speaking.

"You were pretty sure of yourself, weren't you?"

"No, just hoping and praying like I have never prayed before. I didn't want to waste any time getting home again if you decided to keep me. I have so much to make it up to you."

She was smiling and looking into my eyes while she said it and still clinging to me.

"I love you."

"I know, and I love you more than my life. Let's go home."

EPILOGUE

We got back together and made a new stronger commitment to our marriage. I couldn't forgive Roger for what he had done to me and in order to solve my problem and having him as a next door neighbour we sold the house we raised our kids in and bought a new, smaller home to fit our new life style as empty nesters. Life is good. Sadly, I would have my physical scars on my wrists for the rest of my life and every time I stopped and looked at them I would remember the emotional pain I felt when they had subjected me to such a cruel joke; but it also reminded me of the love I had for my wife and how strong it was now; how it would always be there. I knew it actually made our bond and our love for each other stronger. Frequently I caught Flo starring at the scars as well and her eyes would always get misty. Maybe she remembered how much she loved me as well and what her life was like without me for those two weeks of hell as well as the hurt she had caused. Strangely we always had great sex at night after she saw them and I thought she was still trying to make it up to me. I made sure she saw them frequently. We are still good friends with Alice and see her regularly but I never did take her up on her offer. She always reminds me she still has to pay Roger back for what he did and it was a lifetime pass she gave me.

Oh, before I forget; Alice told us Roger no longer played practical jokes on people.

by Sid0604

There will be critics who choose to take me to task for my apparent confusion in how my main character deals with his problem. Maybe this stems from my current situation in finally trying to come to terms with my wife cheating on me some years ago when she was suffering from depression and my demons that still get free occasionally because of it. Trust me when I say that it is possible to love someone so much it hurts and never want to lose them; but at the same time to hate what they have done to you. And if you want to know....yes, I did stop their affair......I hope. But I no longer trust her.