All Comments on 'A Long Walk Home Ch. 17'

yaaa... im the first one to comment... if i am not i'll be a knob... anyway... Jazz can you please make the stories longer - please ....

A short chapter but I can understand it may have been fun but difficult to write. I would love to see more action like this. Much more actually, given the nature of these beasts!!

It's interesting describing a character as extremely dangerous, but and example on occasion serves to remind the reader just how vicious the wolf or vampire can be. Naturally, such an example is also very entertaining to read as well. Ch. 17 is one of my favourites. LOL

Anyway, great chapter again Jaz, and I'm so looking forward to the next exciting instalment!

You are slaking up on the torture ...(:

leaving us hanging but not as bad as you could have. Thanks for the entertainment. Mike from Texas

great chapter was excellent please hurry with the next one

and in case you didn't get the message I LOVE IT!!!!!

Dramatic and action packed, although still with a lot of love - feels like you're building up to something... looking foward to the next update.

F

Ahhh, Jaz! Just when I think it's time for another installment, you oblige!!

Great story, adding layer upon layer of intrigue and suspense.

Lady, you've made my day, I wasn't expecting a new chapter.....I just refreshed ur stories page which is a permanent fixture once am online, and lo and behold, new story. Thanks....I loved it of course am going to complain, it was too short but am looking forward to the next install.

as usual. Jaz, you never disappoint. However, the chapter was too short.

Why do I get the feeling that Anakatrine, Callain and Gard are going to be forced to make a public appearance? Vampire Royalty resurrected..hmmm

Jaz u finally did it. The safety bubble which was there over pack is now bursted. I was wondering when a treat will arise. It really took a long time to come and the person facing the consequences of attacking the pack will be dying slowly & with most powerful ancients with pack the culprit invited death have him. Gonna enjoy some1 dying.

Keep it moving.

O

Don't stop writing, keep it comming.

I wasn't done reading....that's all I've got to say ;)

I love me some action! Lol. Freya is one badass bitch. I love how she struggles to take anybody's command. She is too use to having her way. A free spirit. I love her! I can't wait to see who was behind the attack. Once again, you have me impatient for the next chapter!

Jaz this has to be my favorite chapter up to now, i just loved how Freya went all primal in her need to protect her wolf and it made me just love her to death, can't wait to find out what is going on with those silly other vampires (Who need guns) and why they wanted to attack Freya and Dayton or the pack in the first place!!! i will be waiting on pins and needles to find out more!!

Keep up the excellent work hun, take care

Donna

something actualy happened bar sex, back to 5 stars ^^

feels in rush, though i like Freya's action.

caleb,annie, everyone, old injustices are going to be righted, and the kids are what is going to do it.

This was awesome can not wait for Anne Caleb and Gard and also Rain to Find out about this they are all going to go postal lol. It is going to be epic.

Excellent i am dying for the next chapter.

Aaagh, it's the voodoo you do so well, better than anyone else really. Freya was a vampire who I could not relate to, even the twins had their brotherly bond to drw you in their original appearances. Freya, even with her love of Nors, was too distant. Now, she is a character with such depth, your heart aches for her and you want her to have her happily wolfy ending. That my friend makes your story weaving magic. Oh, and I know mentioned the integration of the old characters before but Rafe is a wonder. Demetri is silent, I never prod, but I wonder if the childless state of vampire couples will be remedied?

Okay forgive my rambling. I know you have a great deal to do, this series is outstanding. I can't wait for my next hit, to avoid the DT's.

Peace and joy,

Shell

things were calming down and that the next few chapter might be about the coming together publicly of our two couples, boy was I wrong. Jaz I would ask how you do it, but I've ask before. I'm not even sure you know the answer.

You are just so talented as an author that I truly believe your time as an amateur writer is coming to an end. In the not to long future I will paying money to read your work.

I can't wait for the next chapter, I'll be sitting on the edge of my seat waiting.

I know there's only 3 chapters left and I'll be sad when the story ends, but I want them all NOW! Hope you've got something else lined up after this. :P

only three chapters left???? no thats soo mean, there better be another book after this one, this is SUCH a good seiris i love it with all my soul!!! update soon, and thanks for updated sooo quickly! :D

You've a real talent for providing what we didnt actually know we wanted Jaz. A really exciting chapter...though its left me as mad as Rafe that someone would hurt our pack lol. thanks madam alpha for another top chapter x

Another wonderful chapter Jaz!!

Yeah, can the vampire couples have children?? Just echoing Shell's thoughts. :)

go write fast. i know you do. kudos again. :) can't wait!!!

I wasn't expecting that at all!!! Can't wait to find out what's going on here . . .

Damn Jaz don't leave us hanging like this. Also Holy crap batman where did the left field curve come from. It has me hanging on for the next chapter. Keep up the great work

Going back to read the council when Caleb told them of how the new council would work and his orders about the weres etc. I think Philippe or the elder that was so pissed at Caleb's changes might be behind the vamps attack. Ooooh! What a really pissed of team all the mated vamps with Caleb and Demetri will make when they find out who sent them. Can't wait to find out. Plus I hope Day fully mates with his vamp during that hour Rafe gave them! LOL.

Freya is so awesome =]

I thought Rayne would have appeared for some reason.

That you are an incredible writer.. def out of left field and truly magnificent! More please with a swiftness!

MEJ, I know you're good, but dayum, this I gotta see.

Freya--that's my girl! She kicked ass and um, forgot to take names but that's okay, she protected her man. I'm thinking the attack had more to do with her and less to do with the pack but we shall see.

I can't wait til she gets pregnant. You think she's evil now!

Lovin that the chapters are coming so quickly, MEJ.

Please - need more about Rayne and Gard!

I still wish you had given Freya and Dayton their own story. There was so much there to develop and I think you've glossed over a lot--to the detriment of the characters and the story. Also, too many chapters in the beginning felt empty -- that they didn't advance the plot or character development really.

You are the best writer on this site, bar none. Your character developments, plot lines, sex scenes--most everything you've written is incredibly vivid and feels so REAL. But I just don't think this story is up to your normal standards. It seems very scattered and lacking direction.

The vampire Ancients are going to be pissed if this attack was meant to hurt the vampire-were hybrids. But it's curious that there wasn't a simultaneous attack on other parts of the compound. What would the vampires gain from attacking Freya and Dayton specifically? Argh! The story just got more interesting/aggravating!

Did anybody else note, that rayne has mentioned her mother holding another "[her] but it wasn't [her]" before they were separated? And then, something attacked her (before she was taken in by the older couple)? Gard saw the bloody clothes and assumed she was dead? It's clear that taking out the ancient's who protect the pack would be the best way to access the hybrids... I'm willing to be that's what this is about. What no one's taken into account is Gard's existence and his ability to be of serious help to the pack (along with Rayne- the vampire killer, haha)!

Also, now that magic and other weres have been introduced into this series, there's an entire realm of nonhuman beings who haven't been explored yet.

Can't wait for the rest, jaz. love love love this series... there could be so many more installments! To echo someone else, though, I look forward to seeing how you're going to wrap this up in THREE CHAPTERS! They better be hella long or segue into the next story (like the last one did with the Gard and Dayton intros), because otherwise I don't see how you'll manage to satisfy this (insane) group of rabid fans you have.

much much love (for you and your work)

~TJ

Anonymous: Annakatrine gave her (Rayne's mommy) and those attacking the allusion that she was still holding Rayne in her arms. If it is some vampire *ucking around trying to get at the kiddies than their house will crumble cause they will have a whole heaping horde of pissed off Ancients, Gard and wolves to deal with.

Jaz......I have loved the story up to this point by I am actually freaking out (in a good way) that you have added some kick ass action to it now.

There is NO way that you will finish this awesome story in 3 chapters, Jaz!!! You have 3 different stories in one plus the hybrid children being thrown in....I figured it would take you at least 25 chapters to this story with about 4 pages in each chapter, then you might just finish this one story and then you can start a new story. You are the most amazingly, talented writer EVER and I truly enjoy your stories!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for writing them, as I very much appreciate it!!

totally agree not going to end in three chapters need to know what happens with the kids too bad to let it end with just three more chapters

PFFFFTTTT on you - and your wishes as to where the story should go - who are we to tell an author where to go with story lines or charactes. Write your own damn story if you have such strong feelings. I am so tired of people on literotica giving feed back that directly tells an author what they should do with their characters or where their story lines should go. Frig that. Get a life and write your own damn stories and leave our beloved authors alone. I for one, applaud the authors that give us their wonderful stories, for free. I have no talent for writing but love the stories I read on here. Unless you are an award winning or published author with books that sell in the millions - please stop telling people here what should happen next in their stories. FFS - so many first time posters are not posting anymore because of this and I am being deprived of awesome stories because you handful of people want to dictate what is written - ok I am done with my rant - so sorry all but I had to say it - forgive me Jaz and please do not fire me as y6our editor - (I am groveling - lol)

and it should no way reflect on Jaz - she had no idea what I posted and in now way, shape or form had anything to do with my rant - it was me and only me - so respond to me and not Jaz - mikothebaby@yahoo.com

So you're looking at the founding member of Team Freya right here.

Seriously - I <3 Freya in this chapter (sorry Rayne fans, but Freya's da bomb) Pretty pleeeeeease let her do some future butt-kicking, Jaz, I *beg* you.

Anyway, great chapter, good job, and Miko...you're positively hilarious. Sic it to those Anoms! ;)

xoxo-Lily

Okay, so Lit did not feel like posting the rest of my comment, so let me try again:

"oooh man:

You're looking at the founding member of Team Freya right here!! Seriously, I loved Freya in this chapter, and Jaz I *beg* you to let her have ass-whoopings in the future.

As always, great chapter and much love!

BTW, Mikothebaby...you're hilarious. Sic it to those Anon's! ;) xoxo-Lily

miss rayne...

Jaz, I've followed every and each of your story, and from that I can say that you are a very talented story writer. Please keep writing more, I like story about big families like what you have already write. It already perfect and great so you don't need to hear other's opinion try to dictate what you have write. Damn, this is your story to begin with. Btw, great and emotional story, especially when Freya went into action. That stupid vampires will definitely die a horrible death.

I am so going to miss this when it ends, you have kept me on the edge of my seat for 17 chapters, can't wait to see what comes next. Thank you and keep them coming.

OMG! Every chapter just keeps getting better and better. Absolutely can not wait to see what happens next!

I really enjoyed this chapter but at the same time I was sitting on the edge of the chair hoping that no one died. Very good chapter again.

This is one of the best stories I have ever read. How could you leave it on a cliff hanger please hurry up with the next chapters!!

I got lucky when this series popped up on a random search. You had only done 8 chapters then. I am notorious for skimming but after I read every word of all 8 chapters I went back and read every word you have posted. In order. As I read I watched you progress from a decent storyteller to a riveting author. I hope you continue this story until you've written enough to fill a 1000 page book. I am amazed with your talent and excited about the next chapter.

I have read every single one of your stories and I thought by now you couldn't surprise me!!! Just when I thought this story had ended you spun another twist into it! You are amazing!!!! I love it! Keep writing forever and ever! Don't stop!!!! :D

I found this story from another author cedarneedle who added you to her favoite authors. Just WOW! Awesome addicting read! I cannot wait to read more.

So glad I caught it. I love Rafe as Alpha and I like how Dayton and Freya are developing. Now a new danger, so far into the story? So intriguing! I wonder if it will be concluded in this story or left 'til the next. Either way, I can't wait!

just when i think the story couldnt possibly have any more twists or turns you have me hanging to the edge of my seat again!

totally lovin freya and dayton. gettin closer and closer to the last chapter! am so gona have withdrawals as im on your last story!ahhhhh

Totally loving freya!

my absolute favorite story of all.

Great I agree just when I thought most problems were solved this happens. Great job. I'm lovin freya and Dayton. And yes girl power all the way. I love freyas strength and courage. I wonder how hard it will be for a man to accept the fact that his woman is stronger than him and more dominant than him. Love this story

Freya was spectacular. Rafe should have expressed a little gratitude instead of giving her hell. HE certainly couldn't have neutralized the imminent threat as deftly and definitively as she did. Pompous jerk!

I love Freya the way she is i hope she doesnt change n why the hell couldnt Rafe jus thank her....

xoxo

Aria

She already has a huge ego, she doesn't need any encouragement in that area at the moment. What she needs is a sense of belonging and that includes that she accepts that this group, she wants (even if she doesn't recognize it at times) to belong to, already has a leader and its not her. He only tempered his response after she backed down, well done.

To arrive late and miss out on all the fun! How ironic!!!! Hahaha!

I haven't read all the other chapters yet but I seriously hope Freya won't turn soft like the other vampires have. She's one kick-ass woman and her attitude I would like to see her not submit to Rafe. As if he could have dealt with the situation like Freya did...

...great author you are....don't ever give up writing...hope you'll put it out into a book...and hope you'll even get a movie made out of it....

In rereading this chapter and I still don't get Rafe's POV here. It seems he just wanted to blast Freya. The situation was kill or be killed. Out of everyone, Rafe should have understood that.

the compound life style reminds me more of a militia type compound, not a hippie commune. I think Rafe knows what he is talking about, the weres have lived and trained for centuries how to respond to different types of attacks and to take prisoners

when needed. It is common training in any military. the vamps don't think, they use brute strength and revenge and kill all that oppose them without thinking ahead.

I love EVERYTHING about this entire series except for one thing - Dayton calling Freya “honey” in every other sentence drove me insane. I can’t imagine in any world that Freya would like that. It was so unnatural and forced. It was also super condescending toward her. I still 5 stared this as I did every single chapter, but if you ever publish this, for the love of God, take the honey out.

A good story so far, aoart from the amount of long winded graphic sex scenes.

I don't understand why Rafe singled Freya out and publicly ridiculed her when she had just risked her life to save Day's. She had sent a message to Nors, informing him of what was happening, and thus saved the pack. Thirdly, it was Nors who killed the last surviving vampire so there was no one left to interrogate.

Was Freya meant to just wound the attacker and interrogate him in the middle of the battle. She could not just wound him and leave him for later, vampires heal to fast for that option to be a choice.