A Matter Of Trust

"You don't have to say anything, Colby."

"I think I do. I never thought it could be like that."

"Well, my dear, that is the way it is suppose to always be." But with her, it had been an experience unlike any he had ever known, but he dared not try explaining as much, seeing as he didn't understand it himself...he didn't understand all she had made him feel in such a short time, but he found he was determined to savor it as long as possible as he stretched out next to he on the bed, pulling her body close to his.

She rested her head on his shoulder while he stroked his hand over her bare arm in a gentle motion that soon left her so relaxed she fell into a deep sleep, clearly exhausted, but still satisfied and after a time, Justin dozed off as well, a reality that later surprised him, as it was not his habit to sleep in the same bed as any woman he was dating.

Usually, he slipped off to his room, the one where his sexual conquest took place was a guest room reserved for the obvious purpose...yet oddly, with Colby, he didn't want to let her go...he wanted to be as close to her as he could be, for a long as possible.

It was just before dawn when they woke up at almost the same moment and without hesitation, Colby moved back into his arms and in an instant, the fire blazed once more and he soon had her blindfolded, bent over the bed, gasping and screaming in delight as he took her hard and fast from behind.

The two encounters hardly proved to be enough, Justin ended up calling into his office to explain to his assistant that he wouldn't be in and Colby spent the day with him in a haze of pure sensual bliss...each touch took her higher...further...it was glorious and perfect and she felt near tears when she finally forced herself to leave during the late afternoon hours and the goodbye she and Justin shared at his front door seemed oddly forced.

"I will call you this week about the work I want to commission you to do." He looked at her, his eyes serious yet troubled and she nodded.

"Great. I am looking forward to it."

"I think it will be great."

"Same here." She wanted to tell him they had been great, that she wanted more time, in his arms, but she had no idea how to express the desire, and she wasn't certain how Justin would react to it, so she left the thought unsaid as she sighed and left, feeling exhausted, alive on a new level, and deeply somewhat heartbroken to know that she would never again be in Justin's arms.

However, true to his promise, he called her two days later, to discuss her work, what he had in mind for his future ventures and two days after that, he came to her apartment, on the pretext that he wanted to see more of her paintings, but within ten minutes of his arriving at her door, she was in his arms, clinging to him as he kissed her, pleading with him to make love to her again and again. She was on fire. Inside and out. She was so eager and so needy, for him, that Justin felt himself fall more and more under her spell as he used a scarf he found to blindfold her...a belt held her wrist bound high above her head and once again, Justin used his hands and mouth and finally, his cock to drive her mad with passion.

After that, somehow, their 'relationship', as Colby called it when talking to Wendy, fell into an odd pattern where it became obvious to her that Justin was as wild for her, as she was for him, and sexual, they were so well matched, so in turned to one another, that it astounded her at time. Left her breathless. Eager. Desperate to give all Justin would allow her to give, in a situation that was limited by some often burdensome rules and boundaries.

Even as they shared more time together, Justin never allowed her to see him naked, nor did he mention the fact that it would never happen, Colby simply understood, just as she understood that he cared for her even if he didn't say the word...even if he didn't admit to her that the feelings were there, Colby knew they were, especially when he admitted to her, three months into their involvement, that she was the only woman he was seeing, and the only one he wanted to see.

It was quite an announcement, all things considered, one that shocked Wendy to no end, when Colby explained it to her and she knew Wendy would have been even further lost in her shock, had she shared with her friend that Justin eventually talked to her about how he was hurt in the accident...he told Colby in detail about the guilt he carried over his friend dying while he lived and how it still haunted him to know he had been driving that night.

Opening up to anyone, about anything, wasn't an easy thing for Justin, he lived his life behind some tall and powerful walls and each time he breached them to reach out to her, in some minor or major way, Colby felt herself fall more and more and more in love with him even as he repeatedly cursed himself for tying her into a situation that had no future.

He often talked about how he felt she deserved better...deserved the chance to find a man who could and would give her all the things he didn't feel he could, but Colby assured him she was fine.

"But you aren't fine." Wendy often countered the argument. "You are in love with this man, you know it and I know it and I am certain Justin knows it on some level." He just did not know how to deal with it, or so Wendy theorized, and while she didn't say as much to Colby for fear of offering her false hope, she was almost convinced that Justin loved Colby with the same intensity and passion she loved him.

Having known the man for as long as she had, Wendy knew his seeing just Colby for such an extended time said a lot...she was the woman on his arm at the social events that he attended and while Colby flat out refused to take anything from him, Justin offered again and again to find her a bigger apartment. In a safer neighborhood. A place that would give her a larger work area...he used every possible factor he could to try and convince her, but she told him, in no uncertain terms, that she would not be kept by him or any man and Justin smiled each time she said it.

"Point made, love." He would say before backing off for a time. "I just want you to be safe, and to have everything you needed." Yet after a time, she could afford certain things, for herself, as her work became more popular, thanks in part to Justin having her create all the art that went into each new restaurant he opened.

They, in time, became known as a couple, in the mind's of others, though Justin never used the word...he kept up the wall most if the time, expect for rare moments when he lowered them and allowed her close, only to push her away again, sometimes for days at a time, until he felt he had a better hand on his emotions and then he was back again, with her always ready to accept him back in her life.

It was a complex situation, one that Colby lived with and accepted as months bled into the first year and the first year into the second...and now, as she stood alone in her bedroom, staring at her reflection, she could no longer deny, to herself, that Wendy was right when she said she wasn't fine and in reality, she hadn't been for a long time, as she had finally broken down and confessed to Wendy earlier in the day over lunch.

"I love him." She looked at her friend honestly and a little sadly. "I think I fell in love the first night we were together, and I have tried to hide it, but..." She shook her head.

"So what are you going to do?" It was, Wendy knew, the key question.

"I think I have to be honest with him. I have to tell him."

"Wow. How do you think he will react?"

"I want to think he will admit he loves me too,"

"But?"

She smiled sadly. "You know what but is."

"You think he will run." Wendy said it for her and Colby nodded.

"I am afraid that he will, but I...I can't go on like this, in a half relationship where there is a wall between us. I need that wall to come down. I need to be close to him."

"You want him to let you see him."

"Yeah." She sighed and set back in her chair. "I want Justin to let me see him." Yet she knew it was unlikely...only one woman had seen him and she had rejected him afterwards...it was a mess and Colby understood it too well as she explained to Wendy that she needed the chance to prove to Justin that he could trust her on the most intimate level and while Wendy understood, she did caution Colby to be prepared for an adverse reaction to her request.

The walls he existed behind had been in place for a long time, tearing them down all at once would be hard, to say the least, and while Colby knew she could ruin what she had, she felt compelled to push for more...push for the connection she knew she and Justin could and would share as soon as he realized that she loved him unconditionally.

"Just take it slow and be honest." She spoke softly to her reflection as she finally made up her mind that her appearance was indeed acceptable.

She had went shopping that afternoon, wanting to find the perfect dress, for her long awaited reunion with Justin and the strapless pale pink mid thigh length satin creation she had come across looked as perfect as she had suspected it would, molding itself to her full curves while her hair fell freely as Justin loved.

Her thoughts, her memories, were still tangled together in her mind when a knock on the door shattered the quite reprieve and in an instant, her heart began to race...she felt her palms begin to sweat...the world as she knew it seemed to shrink as it occurred to her that the moment she had both longed for a dreaded had finally arrived and good or bad, regardless of the outcome, she had no choice but take the chance to finally admit to Justin what she felt and what she wanted from and with him.

TO BE CONTINUED...