All Comments on 'A New Dawn'

Lovely bit of humour on a Tuesday evening

HS, You wrote an economical, romantic story. In my opinion there was a subtle eroticism to the storyline.

I suggest you consider using this short story as a foundation for a larger novelette. The extra scope would allow you to develop more depth for your interesting characters. And the peculiar situation you imagineered them into.

A possible, more realistic alternative to the ending you wrote, is Harry and Susan becoming good friends while Harry repairs his relationship with Rachel. Mrs J could well serve as the wise old adviser.

The extra and excessive drama would be rebuilding a relationship with Lizzy and thru her with Perdy (as a team). This would not be easy. Regaining a daughter's trust is not something one can simply throw money at.

Sad, but it appears The Money is making all this work out. I guess remorse and restitution aren't free, but it appears he is buying rather than earning their love and respect back. Still, a heart warming tale. Thank You.

Ok, so the story is a good one, but having stumbled upon it I find myself at a bit of a loss as to just what he did to everyone. I think that the story would be a lot better if there were some history added at the front, even if only a bare bones outline of just what he did that made him the bastard that the story paints him as being before he sold the company. As for the money thing, well, people have to use what they have to hand sometimes and if his money allows him the time and freedom to try and make amends then I can accept that IF he has a reason for wanting to make amends that doesn't involve some sneaky way to blindside his daughter and his ex. The thing is there is just no way of knowing without more information about how he got to where he is and what his true motives are.