A New Life

My fingers brushed lightly over my smooth belly, and slowly up over my chest, caressing my breasts softly through the fabric of my blouse. I wanted to take my time and do it right, but the imaginary ticking of a clock pushed me onward, reminding me that this was going to have to be quick or I would be late for work. I slipped one hand up into my blouse, and underneath my bra, my fingers finding my nipple already erect. I toyed with it, pinching softly, lightly rolling it between my thumb and forefinger, and tilting my head to the side as I did. My eyes squeezed shut tighter as my other hand slid down between my thighs and found my moist, furry mound. I slid the tip of my finger up over the outer lips of my labia, and sighed in quiet pleasure at the touch.

I slipped my finger up and down over myself slowly, several times, spreading the wetness and coating my finger with it, and then spread my lips apart, shuddering at the cool air making contact with the sensitive inner flesh. I began to insert my finger when I heard the shower turn off. No more than ten minutes had passed since I began to play, and I was expecting his shower to last a bit longer. My finger paused half inside my sex, and considered my options. I opted to continue on. I needed this too badly, and besides, he wasn't the type to barge in unannounced. My finger resumed its previous course, sliding in deeper, until I had the length of it inside me. I slowly pulled it out, giving a soft moan as I did, and slid it back in, accompanied by a second finger, stretching me open a bit more, and making me shudder.

My fingers slowly pushed in and out of me for a few minutes, as I withered on the bed, my hips rising and falling in time with my hand, humping my fingers. My other hand continued to massage my breasts and tweak my nipples, first one and then the other, giving equal attention to each. My breathing was beginning to speed up, coming in longer, deeper pants, and the thumb of the hand buried between my legs brushed over my clit as I thrust my fingers deep inside of myself. I cried out, lifted my legs into the air and brushed it again, which sent lightning bolts cascading up and down my spine. The movements of my hips gained momentum, and I pinched my right nipple again, only harder this time. Much harder. I had to bite down on the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming as my muscles contracted around my fingers as I climaxed, spilling a small amount of copious, pearly-white fluid.

I lay there, panting, trying to reclaim my breath and waiting for my legs to stop trembling. I raised my wet fingers before my face, and looked about me for something to clean myself off with.The hell with it, why not? It's all the rage in porno's, after all. I thought to myself, and after a moments hesitation, licked my fingers clean of my own juices. I was a little surprised to find that it wasn't as horrible a taste as I had expected, and licked both fingers clean, even returning to my very wet mound for more to taste. After a few short minutes, I reopened my eyes for the first time. They caught on the door, standing slightly ajar. My breath hitched in my throat and I nearly cried out in dismay. Did Matt see me? Did he see his mother furiously fingering herself, a hand buried in her blouse as well as her crotch, legs hanging in the air like a whore waiting for a customer?

Oh lord; did he see me lick myself clean afterward?

And what was that tingle in my loins just then? Did the thought actually turn me on?

God help me, what am I doing?

I quickly got out of bed, and pulled on a fresh pair of panties, not noticing the dark stain spreading across the front of them from my still went crotch. I pulled on my white nurses slacks, buttoned them up, and turned to the laundry hamper, intending to bury the soiled panties deeply, where they wouldn't be exposed until I could find time to do the wash. However, they were gone. The door was ajar, and my soiled pair of panties, which I remember very vividly tossing onto the hamper top, were gone. I checked behind the hamper, just to be certain they hadn't fallen behind, but as I had feared, they were nowhere to be found. My son had indeed seen me, perhaps stood there watching me the entire time, and had departed with my panties as a trophy.

Why would he do such a thing? Why stand there watching his mother masturbate, then steal her soiled panties? Is he...? I quickly swept the thought aside before it could fully formulate.

No, he couldn't be interested in me. Why would he be? I'm his mother, and there are plenty of prettier women out there that would be plenty happy to be the target of his affections, as well as his manhood. It must be a warning. A subtle way of saying he knows.

I felt horrible that I had intruded on his privacy in such a way.

I'll find a way to make it up to him, I thought to myself as I continued to finish preparing to leave for work. I'll have his favorite dinner ready for him when he gets home. It's not much, but it's a start. Maybe I'll go get him that new video card he's been wanting for his computer.

I left my room, and was passing Matt's bedroom door when I paused for a moment. The door was ajar, as was mine when I was masturbating. I peeked in, but he wasn't in there. I caught sight of my panties on his bed, however. My heart began to beat harder, and I pulled my eyes away and forced myself to move on before he caught me looking. I turned the corner into the living room to retrieve my purse, and saw my son sitting on the couch watching some TV. I steeled myself, and walked past him to where my purse was sitting on the far end of the sofa.

"You're running a little late, mom." Matt told me casually. "You ok? You look a little ill. Was the bacon cooked enough? I didn't get you sick did I?"

The look of concern on his face was so sincere that it pained my heart. I realized the truth then, that he didn't take my panties as a warning. He didn't know that I knew he did. I know my son. He can't lie for beans. A look that sincere meant that it absolutely was.

He doesn't know I caught him. He thinks he got away scott free with my panties.

I manufactured a smile in the hopes of setting him at ease, and told him that I was all right, just a little queasy. "Women stuff," I told him. I should have known better than to try to lie to him. There's no way to fake emotions with that boy. He could sense them so easily; it almost seemed to be a sixth-sense.

"C'mon mom, what's up, really? Tell me, please? You know you can talk to me about anything, just like I know I can talk toyou about anything."

And I almost did tell him, then. He has a way of disarming me that is eerie. I was saved from having to embarrass us both, though, at least for the time being. I was going to be late for work if I didn't get out of the door soon, and this conversation would take much longer than a minute or two.

"Hon, I can't right now, I need to get out of here or I'll be late. I'm sorry... later, ok?"

"Promise?" he asked, looking at me with such honest caring that I couldn't help but smile for real, and leaned down to give him a close hug and a quick kiss.

"I promise, sweetie. I gotta go now, you be good and have a good day at work, ok? And be careful, please!"

"You too ma. I love you, and I'll see you tonight." He said, returning the hug and kiss, and adding a pinch to my bottom for good measure, making me giggle.

I picked my keys up off the entryway table and opened the door, before I remembered Kero.

"Oh, hon! Would you feed and take Kero out for a walk for me, please? I totally forgot." The sound of his name brought Kero out of Matt's room, where he normally sleeps, and the sound of "food" and "walk" got his tail wagging so fiercely that it seemed in danger of breaking off.

"You bet mom. I'll take care of the big guy, no worries. See ya later."

And with a final pat to Kero's big head, I stepped outside, shut the door behind me, and headed off to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had feared that the day would drag on, but I was pleasantly surprised to see the end of my shift arrive much sooner than I had anticipated. On my way home, I stopped by CompUSA and picked up the video card my son had been drooling over, which cost over five hundred smackeroo's. I had been planning on getting it for him for Christmas, but it looks like I'd have to come up with a different gift for that. From there I visited the grocery store and purchased the makings of his favorite meal. Once home, I began the meal and set it in the oven to cook, then went about wrapping his gift. I kept an eye on the clock all evening, watching it tick inexorably toward my son's arrival. I fed Kero and petted him for a bit while he ate. I left the kitchen and went to my room, where I changed out of my nurses uniform.

Once comfortable in loose-fitting P.J.'s, I returned to the living room, and sat on the sofa where I mindlessly channel-surfed, my thoughts turned toward my son. I was nervous about how the impending conversation would go, even with the gifts stacked in my favor.

Kero finished his dinner, and came over to where I sat, and lay down next to my bare feet. I reached down and gave him a gentle pat, then stood and went into the kitchen to attend to dinner.

I was just putting a heaping plate at Matt's usual seat when I heard the door open, and couldn't help a small smile at how predictable my son was.

"Hey hon, good timing, dinners just on the table. Come on in and have a bite to eat with me." I called out to him.

He walked into the room, at the first thing I noticed was the set of his face. He had a nervous, crooked smile, and he spoke quickly before I could say anything else.

"Don't worry mom, ok? I'm fine, I swear, it wasn't bad, just a few stitches, ok?"

Even before he could start speaking, my eyes had left his and spotted the white bandage sticking partially out of the collar of his uniform. A hint of crimson was stained in the otherwise clean cloth.

"Matthew!! What happened? Are you ok?" I nearly shrieked as I ran towards him, his outstretched hands stopping me from colliding into him. He took me in a warm embrace, and then gently pushed me back so he could look at me.

"Like I said mom, I'm fine. We had a bit of trouble, but I took care of it. It's nothing ma, I was lucky as hell. If the guy were sober, he would've killed me. In the state he was in, he was lucky he hit me at all. The bullet went clean through, and hit nothing but meat."

I interrupted him there, my eyes bulging in their sockets, my face pale as curdled milk.

"Bullet? Someoneshot you? Why? What happened? Did you go to the hospital?" I don't think I would have stopped there if he hadn't put a finger to my lips, shushing me.

"Yeah, someone was hunting illegally and wasn't happy when I tried to take him into custody. He didn't seem to believe me that he wasn't allowed to hunt bears in a forest protected by the government. He shot, I shot, we both went down. I just got home from the hospital. I was there for a couple hours, it took them that long to clean out the wound, sew it up and slap a band-aid over it."

"You shot him too? Oh god hon... you've never even had to draw that thing before, and now you had to use it?" I sighed in despair and hugged him tightly, bringing a yelp of pain from him. I quickly released him and backed up a step, flashing an apologetic smile.

"Yeah... only I was trained better, and sober on top of it. He didn't get back up, mom. They're going to need me down at the office tomorrow to answer some questions, fill out some paperwork."

The amount of pain in his voice broke my heart. I pulled him back into my arms again, being more careful not to hurt him this time. We stood there, in the doorway to the kitchen, in a tight embrace for what seemed like hours, but what must have only been a couple minutes.

"I'm sorry sweetheart," I whispered to him. "I'm so glad you're alright."

The realization of how close I came to losing my baby struck me, and I cried in his arms, as he was suddenly the one comforting me.

Once I had myself back under control, I stood back from him, holding his hands and smiling weakly up at him.

He's so tall, my beautiful, sweet son, I thought to myself. And indeed he was tall, standing at six-foot-three.

"Come on hon, I bet you're famished. I made your favorite, as it happens. Come, eat." Taking his hand, and pulling him into the kitchen, letting him seat himself at the table.

Kero had followed us, and was sitting at his usual spot, right beside Matt. He knew that's where his best chance was at getting random bits of food from my son.

Half way through his meal, Matt noticed the colorfully wrapped package on the table.

"What's that for?" he asked, gesturing at the package with his fork, an eyebrow cocked as we looked at me questioningly. "You didn't have some psychic premonition about me or something, did you?"

I smiled at the mischievous look on his face, and pushed the package closer to him as I replied nervously.

"Nope, this is about something altogether different. It's an apology gift, sweetie."

"Apology gift? What could you have possibly done to be sorry for? You're awesome, mom." He reached over and gave my forearm a gentle squeeze, and smiled such a warm, loving smile that I felt all my worries slip away for a moment. The image of what I had done earlier came back to me however, and with it the worry.

Matt pushed his plate aside, and began unwrapping his gift. When he saw what was hidden underneath the merry paper (which consisted of bunches of party balloons with confetti raining all over, in a rainbow of metallic colors) he gave a cry of surprise, ripping the rest of the paper off and turning it over in his hands, checking the model, then giving me a shocked look.

"Holy shit mom, what the hell did you do, blow up my room?" he asked incredulously.

I couldn't help but laugh, and scooted closer to him, sending Kero scrambling out of my way.

I took one of his hands in mine, and looked at him levelly. I took a deep breath, and started the conversation I feared would wreck our happy friendship.

"I think you know, hon."

He looked at me a moment, then hung his head, blushing a deep crimson.

"Hon, what do you have to be embarrassed about?" I asked him, puzzled. "I'm the one that was acting like a slut, not you. It's not your fault you saw what you saw. I left the door open. I totally forgot about it. I'm so sorry hon."

He looked up and saw the sincerity in my eyes, and visibly relaxed, at least a little bit.

"You weren't acting like a slut, mom," he told me strongly. "You were just doing what everyone else does. Even me."

"Even you?" It was my turn to look at him mischievously. "By the way... I'm just curious, hon, but... what was it you wanted my panties for?"

He let his breath out in a big whoosh, sounding like he had just been sucker-punched. His eyes dropped to the gift resting on the table in front of him.

I'll never forget the look he gave me next. The unspilled tears in the corners of his eyes, and his ashamed expression, looked to me like he expected to be cast out.

"It's ok baby, you can tell me. Please? I would like to know," I pressed gently.

"I don't deserve this gift, mom... you should take it back, get your money back. I don't deserve anything like this." his eyes dropping back down to the table, avoiding making eye contact with me.

"Why on earth would you say that, hon? Please, tell me? I won't hate you, I promise."

I put my hand on his, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Why did you want my dirty panties, hon?"

His reply was too low for me to hear, and I had to ask him to repeat it twice before he could say it loud enough for me to understand.

"Because I fantasize about you," he muttered. Those five words took my breath away, and sent a tingle down in my loin.

"You do, hon?" I asked softly, my hand still on his. All he could do was nod for a reply. "But what did you want with my panties, hon? Tell me, please?"

He looked up at me with a pained look, and I could tell he was terrified I would disown him, or something equally horrible. I gave him a nod, and he took a deep, steadying breath, then pressed on.

"I like your scent, mom."

"Keep going hon, please. Tell me everything, don't hold back, ok?" taking his other hand into mine, holding them both, my heart racing in my chest.

He likes to smell my panties. He likes the smell of my arousal.

"Alright... I like your smell. I like to feel your wetness, and I like to lick it, to taste you. I wrap the wet part around myself and... and... well, masturbate with them."

My crotch was soaking. I could feel it saturating my panties.

Damn. That's the second time today he's been the reason I wet my panties with my juices.

I reached up and took his chin in my hand, and gently raised his face, making him look me in the eyes.

"How much of me did you see this morning, Matt?" I asked gently

"Um... lots. From when you were fingering yourself with just one finger, till you finished licking yourself clean." He told me, blushing deeply.

"Oh boy.... You saw all that, huh?" his nod was all the answer I got. "Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes, mom... I masturbated with you... I, uh... came the same time you did."

Again, that twinge in my crotch. I could feel my juices leaking out. Kero could smell my arousal, judging by the way he was sniffing at me. I pushed him away, and moved closer to me son.

"What would you think of me if I told you that you were the one in my mind while I was pleasuring myself, sweetie?" I asked him, looking him dead in the eye.

"You were?" he asked, seemingly unbelieving.

I gave him a nod, and asked him if he really was interested in me, or if it was something else.

"It's you, mom. I've wanted you for years. You're so hot, and I love your personality. I fantasize about you every night."

I was surprised, but not too shocked. I felt much the same way for him, after all, didn't I?

I sat there for a moment, thinking hard and fast about the situation, then cast all fears aside and went for it.

I looked into his eyes, capturing his with my own, and while we gazed at each other, I took his hand and slowly put it onto my thigh. His tongue darted out and licked his lips, and I could tell he was both nervous and very, very turned on. I could see in his eyes how badly he wanted me. I went for broke and pulled his hand up into my lap, resting it on my crotch. He swallowed audibly, and looked down at where his hand was, but made no move to do anything about it. I took his fingertips, and traced them slowly along the outline of my lips, letting him feel my heat.

"Oh my god mom, are you wet? I can feel it through your pants," he said hoarsely.

"Yes baby... I'm soaking wet, because of you. You get me so damned hot! I'm dripping from the thought of you smelling me, tasting me, coming with me." I leaned closer and kissed his lips softly. "Comingin me."

He moaned against my lips, and kissed me back, just as softly. His hand still hasn't moved on it's own, so I continued to rub myself with his fingers. I slipped my tongue out and licked his lips softly, then stood, breaking the kiss softly.