A Stranger to Guide Us Ch. 08

"But you. You grew up. You weren't a little boy that needed a mother chasing after him anymore. Suddenly there was this man living in my house. A handsome, grown-up man. We enjoyed each other's company. He made me laugh. I loved him. I think he loved me."

"I did," said Josh in a hoarse whisper. "I do." He thought he could see a smile on her face behind the veil.

She gave a little sniffle and continued.

"That night, it was like a fire was lit inside of me that I couldn't put out. I felt like woman again, not just a mom and a widow. All that energy burning inside of me, but I had nowhere to direct it. Except... you.

"It was wrong, I know it was. But try to stop thinking about something once you start. Just try! It's impossible. But now you were going out at night. Suddenly, you seemed different. More confident. I was so proud, but so sad too. You see, I thought -- it's horrible, I know -- but I thought that if you were lonely like me you might spend more time at home. I suspected that you might be seeing another woman. I could smell it on you.

From the corner, Lana gave a little laugh. "Very perceptive."

Allie continued, "I got jealous. God, it sounds crazy. And then... and then came that night on the couch. You gave me a foot massage. Your touch... ooh, it was so good. I felt like butter. I got careless, lost in the moment. I tried to maintain control, but it was so hard. I knew you were watching my robe slip open. I ran upstairs because I had to leave you. I was afraid of what I might do. But I didn't want the night to end. So I left the door open. I knew you would see me. See me touching myself."

"I did," interrupted Josh. "I couldn't help it." His dick ached at the memory of it.

"I know you couldn't help it," she said. "It was my fault. It was a trap. I wanted you to fall in. Can't you see how sick I am now? I wanted you to watch me. Wanted you to do who knows what? But you were stronger than me. You didn't give in."

Her words were coming more quickly now. She seemed less distraught. Or was it, he wondered, that her pain was taking on a new tone? Like something driving her forward, compelling her to spill her secrets.

"Your strength just drove me more crazy. Once I knew you were stronger than me, it was like I had license to give in to my urges, knowing you'd keep me in check. It's unfair, I know, but that didn't stop me. My imagination was racing all the time. The things I was thinking -- you'd never forgive me. There was an afternoon one weekend, I thought that you'd been in my room. I don't know. But my vibrator and dildo looked like they'd been moved.

"I imagined you touching them, and after that I couldn't get enough of them."

She paused and Josh could sense her looking through the curtain at him.

"I need to know." She spoke hesitatingly. "Did you touch them?"

Josh looked to Lana, who have an almost imperceptible nod.

"Yes," said Josh.

Allie gave an audible shudder. The air in the room seemed warm and close to Josh. He was sweating a little under his shirt.

"That's okay," said Allie in a soft and breathy voice. "It's okay that you touched my dirty things. I don't mind." Josh thought she sounded out of breath.

From the other side of the room, Lana gave a little cough and an expectant look towards Allie.

"Then," continued Allie, "there was the note."

Josh was about to ask, "What note?" but didn't want to interrupt his mother again. Her dreamy tone was impossibly enticing and he was dissuaded from breaking the spell.

"One day at work, I came back from lunch and there was a note on my desk. No name, but it smelled like perfume." She shot a look at Lana again, who let the faintest smile touch her lips but said nothing.

"The note said, 'To pursue your passion, get in the car. You'll know when you have a friend in need.'"

The phrase struck Josh as oddly familiar but he couldn't place it.

"I read the note over and over, but it made no sense. I had a car, but I didn't know where to go. If I had a friend in need, I didn't know who it was. Days went by and I was going crazy. Between the horrible thoughts in my head and this note that just felt like someone fucking with me, I didn't know how much more I could stand.

"We had dinner again, you and I. Another night at home on our couch. You offered a massage again. I was weak. I should have said no, should have gone straight up to bed and hid myself from you, but you know what happened. I ended up with my shirt off, writhing around on top of you. I was so hungry for your touch. It was wonderful. It was terrible. I had fallen so far and I wasn't even trying to stop myself."

Josh could feel that night again, the soft touch of her body. It was definitely getting hot in the room now. His cock felt trapped, hard and stretching against the confines of his pants. He wanted to touch himself, but was afraid of anything that would impede her confession.

"Then your phone rang and you... you left." Her voiced carried a note of hurt. "You just got up. But before you walked out you said..."

"I have a friend in need," finished Josh, mesmerized. He looked from his mother to Lana in astonishment. It was her that had left the note. Of course! She had already admitted to taking a job in Allie's office. He knew she was clever, and not without a little deviousness, but this all seemed impossibly cloak and dagger.

"Yes," continued Allie, "it was Maggie. Lana. Whoever she is. The new girl in my office with the pretty smile and the big tits. The bosses loved her so much she hardly had to interview and didn't seem to do much work, either."

Allie looked to Lana, who shrugged innocently. "I had to be close to you, Allie," she said. "We talked about all this already. I had to be close to you to make you open your eyes and see." With that, she indicated in Josh's direction.

Allie lolled her head back, exhausted. "I was so stupid. So naïve. All those lady's lunches and nights out. Just to be set up."

"You forgave me," said Lana. "And you thanked me." Josh was impressed. Lana's tone was utterly calm, but irresistible. He saw now that he could have asked either one of them to do anything. Rob a bank. Drive off a cliff. She had them wrapped around her little finger and they were both ready to thank her for it.

"Continue with your story," said Lana. "I don't think poor Josh can stand the suspense." Allie looked back at Josh and gave a slow intake of breath, her pupils dilated to huge saucers.

"The car arrived and you left the house. I ran to the window to watch you go. A moment later another car arrived. Sure enough, it pulled into the driveway."

"To pursue your passion, get in the car," she repeated. "So I did. I threw on a coat and went out. He was just a limo driver, he told me. He'd been ordered to pick up a woman named Allie from this address. I asked him who had placed the order, but he didn't know. I asked him where the car was supposed to go to. He told me an address across town. And then he said something else.

"He said he was sorry for all the mystery but he didn't know much more than I did. And that the weird thing was that a car had just left headed for the same place a few minutes ago from our house.

"I got in the car without another word. I knew it was stupid and dangerous, getting into a strange car, but I had to know where you were going. We drove and drove. We were outside of town and I lost my bearings. I'm still not sure where it is exactly. But eventually we arrived in this parking lot next to a weird, low building. That the people in the building knew I would be arriving. The driver told me to just walk up to the front door. The driver said he'd wait with the car until I was ready to go home. The payment had already been worked out.

"I walked though the parking lot, hardly processing what I was doing. Maybe it was the alcohol, but I felt like I was in a dream. None of this made sense. It was so unlike me, but I knew you had to be in there and I had to follow you. "

Josh could picture the scene exactly. He'd had the same trance-like experience. There was an aura of raw sexuality around that place that had no regard for logic. In fact he had walked through that very parking lot on that very night, probably not ten minutes before she had, without any idea that she was so close. He wanted to hear this story as much as she apparently wanted to tell it.

"When I approached the door, it opened. There was a big man. He knew my name and let me in. Inside it was... it was... well, I'd never been in a place like that before but I could guess what it was. The girls had hardly any clothes on, but it definitely wasn't a strip club.

"This nice asian girl from the bar called me over and gave me a drink." This, Allie let herself laugh a little. "I downed it in one gulp and she gave me another just like that. There was this big lady at a table that kept giving me the evil eye, but the pretty bartender told me to ignore her and just sit tight for a while.

"It was so warm and dark in there, like a little cocoon. My brain just wasn't working, and at the moment I didn't want it to work. I wanted to feel my way through this, not think it through. There would be time enough for consequences in the morning. What was my little Josh doing in a place like this? What would he think when he saw me here? Would he be angry that I followed him?

"I finished my second drink, or maybe it was my third. Time didn't seem to be working right. I just kept looking around at all these beautiful half-naked girls. They were so naughty. They looked like I felt. Like burning sex. I wanted to take my own clothes off and be like them They looked free, like they could take any man they wanted and fuck him -- no consequences, no guilt. Why couldn't I be like them?

"Then the big lady came over, the one that looked like she had it in for me. I thought she was going to kick me out, but she told me I could go up now. Room 29, upstairs and down the hall. She pointed to a dark door. I walked through it into a dim hallway. It was like a womb, warm, humid, and red. Nothing seemed real. I found the stairs, then, at the end of the hall, door 29. It was unlocked. I went in."

Josh could hardly breathe now as he pieced the story together, realizing what must have happened that night.

"The room was mostly empty, just a bed, some light furniture, and a large mirror over the mantle. But when I closed the door behind me I saw that there was still light in the room. It seemed to be coming in through the mirror. When I got closer I saw it wasn't a mirror at all. It was a window."

Allie's voice grew thick now. "I saw you, Josh. You were in the room. It was dark, but I knew it was you. You were in there with a woman. Her I couldn't see at all.

Yes, thought Josh. You couldn't see us because Lana didn't want you to see her. That's why she stayed in the dark. That's why she was so careful about where Josh was positioned in the room.

"But I heard you both," continued Allie." There was a little vent by the mirror and I could hear everything. It was a woman, an older woman I guessed. She demanded that you please her. You must have been... very good to her.

"I stood at the mirror. I couldn't move myself, even if I wanted to. I could hear you going down on her. With the light so dim, I could imagine that it was me in there with you. It drove me crazy. I touched myself. I... fingered myself listening.

"Then Lana -- oh, I know it was Lana, Maggie, whoever now," she laughed. "Who else could it have been? She knew exactly what she was doing. She moved you to the front of the mirror and went down on you. You were inches from me when she was sucking your cock. I could hear the wet, smacking sounds. I could hear your moans. I could see your face. So much passion. So much pleasure. It was easy for me to imagine it was me doing it. Sucking your cock, Josh."

Josh practically doubled over trying to keep himself from coming in his pants. Her words were dripping out of her wantonly and uncontrollably. This was more passion that he had ever felt in his life.

"And you fucked her. In the ass. You used her like a whore. I wanted it to be me. I wanted to be tossed around and fucked like a rag doll. I couldn't stand it anymore. I snapped. I was just about to run into your room. Then this... this awful return to sanity came over me. I didn't want it. I wanted to remain in the dream, but my rational brain held me back just in time. I realized that you didn't even know how I felt. That I couldn't let you know. I would be the worst mother on earth if I stepped into that room. So I ran."

There was another long silence.

"After that I tried to reform myself. I stayed away from you. That in itself made me a bad mother as well, but I figured it was the lesser of two evils: the negligent mother or the wanton whore mother. But it didn't take me long to figure out that I couldn't be away from you anymore. I thought about you all day at work, and every night I hid myself from you in some movie theater or bar or shopping mall because I didn't trust myself to be at home alone with you.

"Eventually, I guess everyone else around me could tell something was wrong. 'Maggie,' my work friend, offered to set me up on a date."

Through the curtain, Josh could tell that Allie was fixing Lana with a hard stare, but Lana said nothing. Allie gave a sigh, as if she really didn't want to remember this part of the story.

"Pete. A real class act, at least at first."

Josh felt a lump in his throat. His mother had but spewing out raw honestly since he'd walked in the room. He had to speak up.

"I saw you," he said. "I saw you in the car with him." Josh could just make out Allie bringing a hand to her shocked mouth.

"You saw me... in the car? Then you saw me.... Oh, god, Josh, I'm sorry." She was on the verge of tears.

"It was amazing. You looked amazing. Like the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Part of me wanted to watch you finish and part of me wanted to punch him."

Allie sniffled and laughed. "Thank you, I guess."

"Thank YOU," he said, which made her laugh.

"Yeah, he was a jerk, but in a way it felt good to be with a man again, even for a night. If only to make me remember that I could be wanted. But I thought it would satiate me, even for a day. Hah. It just drove me back into your arms, Josh, literally. That night, I was lying in bed. I could hear a thunderstorm building. I was tossing and turning, so horny after that terrible date. The thunderstorm was only working me up more. I've never liked thunderstorms. Then I thought... well, it was a flimsy pretext, but I was all nerves.

"You know this part. I'm not proud of it. But you've got to understand, Josh. It's like a sickness in me. I'm trying to control it, but I couldn't. At least not that night. I got in your bed with you. It was so good to be near you and in your bed. It was like wrapping myself in you. I waited until I thought you might be asleep. In truth, I probably didn't care."

Her voice cracked.

"I made you touch me. Touch my breasts. Your fingers brushing my nipples, it was like electricity. I masturbated as quietly as I could. And you knew. You must have known. How could you not have woken up with a display like that. But instead of pushing me away, you were kind enough to pretend that nothing happened. I can't imagine the shame you must have felt, but I promise you, Josh, it was nothing compared to my own shame.

"I've used you and used you, Josh, for my own sick fantasies. I've tried to ignore them. I've tried other men. You can't know how hard I've tried to flush this out of my system. And to finally learn to tonight that this was all part of some sick game of YOURS," and here she indicated Lana.

"I told you already, Allie. Josh didn't know anything about this any more than you did. I knew from the moment I met both of you that you were mad for each other, but you weren't willing to admit it."

"How can we?!" cried Allie. "It's wrong!"

"Says who?"

"Everyone! Everyone knows it's wrong."

"I don't find that an acceptable excuse to deny something you know in your heart feels right," said Lana simply.

"No!" cried Allie. "We can't. That's why... that's why I have to leave Josh. I need help."

"You're leaving?!" Josh shot up, but Lana raised a hand calling for patience.

"Allie, we've talked about this. Do you want to leave, really? You want to leave Josh and this house?"

"No," said Allie, the fervor dropping out of her. "Of course not. But..."

"Those are outmoded morals," Lana interrupted, "for an ancient society, driven by fear and lack of technology. You need to shed those to be free. You're both adults. We can easily protect against pregnancy. You're both adults. The only thing that's really stopping you is your own fear. No one will ever know except the three of us."

Another long silence passed. Josh thought about what Lana had said and found some truth in it. When Allie finally spoke it was little more than a whisper.

"Why are you doing this to us?"

It was the question that had been in Josh's mind from the moment he met her, but he'd kept to himself. The promise of what she could deliver seemed to him worth the price of his ignorance. But Allie had to know in order to continue.

Lana seemed to consider the question for a long time, then sighed. "It should be enough for you that I've done what I've done. I've given you what some people would die for -- the chance to fulfill their deepest desire, regardless of social conventions."

"Who are you, really?" asked Allie.

---------------------------------

"Very well. It's a simple enough story. I hope it meets your expectations, which I imagine are immense. I'm not the devil or some Greek nymph. I'm not here to make you sin. I don't even believe in such a thing. How you act is your own business and you have no one to answer to but yourself and the people who are affected by your actions.

"My name is Alana Maria Kopovic. I was born in Greece but moved here when I was still in my mother's arms, along with my brother, Peter. We were very poor in those early years and the children could only be fed what was available. Peter had a slight build and a limp from malnutrition. As a result, he was picked on mercilessly by the other children. My parents both worked, so I cared for him like a sister and a mother. I treated his bruises and bathed him. We loved as much as any brother and sister could.

"As we grew older, we began moving around a lot. It was hard to make friends, so we turned inward, towards each other even more. Eventually, we reached an age (a legal age, mind you), where we began to experiment with each other. I gave myself to him, completely, as he did to me. We would fuck for hours in the afternoon than sneak into each other beds at night so he could suckle my breasts until we fell asleep.

"One morning, we could not help ourselves and were fooling around in an alley near our house. Some school boys caught us. I begged them not to tell anyone. I promised them anything. Two of them demanded blowjobs. I gave them, willingly. Anything to save Peter's reputation, because I knew my parents would send him away. But the boys told our parents anyway. They also told the pastor in our church. Everyone was furious. They sent Peter packing that very day. He was the boy, so they assumed that he'd taken advantage of my innocence. I pleaded with my parents to let me go with him, but it was no use.

"I got a letter a month later from Peter saying that he'd found a job in California. He was saving enough money for the two of us. That was the last I ever heard from him."

She paused and took a deep breath. "He died. He was working on a farm and got hit by tractor. His club foot slowed him down and the driver didn't see his skinny body in the tall wheat stalks. He was never cut out for farm work, any fool could see that, but who else would take him -- no references, unwelcome in his old neighborhood?