All Comments on 'A Summer of Firsts'

the end :(

Like I mentioned I plan to post a much happier alternate ending at some point.

I don't object to the ending per se, but I don't think you provided sufficient justification for Nick's very drastic and irrevocable decision. His reaction to the arrest -- from stall to cell -- just didn't ring true for me. As for the story arc... well-written, compelling, nicely formed.

Thank you for your comments. I tried, maybe not successfully, to show how worried Nick was over little things. For instance, being sure he's going to be fired for being late, even though he's never been late before. His anxiety at pleasing his mother by shopping, not just for things he wants but that his mother will approve of. I also included the bit about the Bible saying masturbation was wrong. I hoped to convey a kid who was terrified of getting in trouble, who couldn't imagine being gay or bi because those people were "bad" as a way of foreshadowing his response to getting arrested.

I appreciate you taking the time to comment. Thanks again.

I really enjoyed the flow of your writing. I thought it was a well put together story. Erotic and realistic. I even 'liked' the ending. (I use quotations because its sad, but a realistic thing.) My only suggestion would be to go back and add more anxiety and more guilt throughout the entire piece to lead up to the end. It was just slightly abrupt. I read your comment and I understood what you were aiming for. We, as writers, have a difficult job. We have to make something out of nothing, and sometimes we think we explain things when we really don't. I cant tell you how many comments I've gotten from people wanting more explaination, more depth. If we do all that, our stories would never end. I applaud you. :) Don't stop writing!

~EmeraldKitten

Thanks EmKi for the kind comments. I read a few of your postings and intend to get back to them when I have time to enjoy them, very nice work.

Great story except I quit when the cop showed up but I did like the first two pages

You are a real dick. Totally uncalled for in a J/O story.

But I rarely do "jerk off" stories.

and your comments in response. I could see Nick building up his anxiety to be caught, to being discovered, but wondered while being arrested was extreme, but in keeping with time period you wrote this, I wondered if the arrest could have been another first for him, he was making these discoveries about himself, and while keeping it quiet and everything seeming so strange and not knowing his true nature, that the arrest and subsequent drama could have shaped him too. But I understand for the times and place that he was in, being arrested was humiliating and led him to take that final step. I liked your story overall some very funny lines, liked best' granny saying everything had two uses - LOL