All Comments on 'A Summer to Remember Ch. 02'

Before you write anything more, do an outline. Then as you write remember who's who. Anne licking Anne, Laura kissing Laura's neck is simply laziness on your part.

A little confusing in places.

Nice read but I hoped for more detail. Flesh out the action or characters. Good start but this wasn't quite what hoped for.

Try to keep your characters straight.You have you should proofread before you submit anything as lazily done as this was.

A little editing would have done wonders... don't give up!

I'll leave all the editting comments to the other people. I loved the way you introduced the characters to each other. That is the real turn-on for me. Happy writing, hope to read more from you.

I enjoyed it. The hidden desires of the sister and also of the friend were very hot and added a nice twist to the story. Both parts were great and looking for more on the siblings. Maybe a visit to the campus? good job.

The story was very interesting the slow start by the pool etc from the first one but this part was very confusing as hell especially the characters for example- "Anne's hand moving rapidly in Anne's pussy and suddenly Laura was screaming again as she came." "Laura had walked over to us but was looking just at Anne."-names mixed up on that one. When most people are reading they would like to read with the flow and try not to figure out what the author is trying to say. Before you post read the story a few times before you post it to see spelling grammar and names and stuff the spell check and things on word or other programs don't tell you that you have a name mixed up or if you replace their with they're etc. Just advice other than that i liked the story very much

but you fucked it up by getting names mixed up - it really pisses me off when authors obviously don't proof read their own work - or better still - get someone to do it for them. It happens time and time again and is so annoying. Suggest you do a lay-out with a list of the characters and a basic outline of the story then - hopefully - you wont get mixed up with names etc - oh, and another thing, always run a spell checker too - as spelling mistakes detract from the story too.

you sure didn't fix the problems very well you screwed up the names royally get an editor and try again and never post a story without going through a good editor first

like the story a lot, but you keep mixing up Laura and Annes names. Along with sometimes calling Laura Laurie, it's quite confusing...

I agree that the author needs to keep the girls names straight. Trying to figure out which girl was doing what to whom took my concentration away from the story.

You need an editor, badly.

Yes it is confusing, I lost the thought and thrill. You blew it with the confusion,

otherwise it was a good start.

Your comment at the beginning suggested you had fixed a lot of errors. Given that there are still so many errors remaining, I dread to think how bad it was before. Go away, learn English, then maybe try your hand at writing.

Not a bad story but a shame Anne & Laura's names keep getting mixed up eg noticed Anne's hand in Anne's pussy, but meaning in Laura's pussy, plus several other occasions ! It was distracting reading these mistakes out to make sense of the story........

Rubbish. A waste of time.