All Comments on 'A Tangled Web We Weave Ch. 01'

by kategreen84

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  • 11 Comments
CassieKCassieKabout 10 years ago
Wicked, I'm so frigging turned on.

What a great story, hot, hot, hot!!!

Please don't stop writing, you have a natural talent in turning me on, I love it and want you to keep doing it.

You don't live in Australia do you??? 😈😈😈

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
please write more...

very hot, but way too short! write more!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago

Was hoping mom would join...

m1k3m1k3about 10 years ago
Good start,

Good start, helped me cum, please write more!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago

Gotta love rape!

frenchtoastmanfrenchtoastmanabout 10 years ago
Verrrry promising start...

An excellent opening chapter! I'm eagerly anticipating Part Two!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
AND A WRITING STAR IS BORN

Very nicely done. Did the topless step daughter have a clean or hirsute vagina? put some hair on something to keep some contrast to your characters.

GaiusPetroniusGaiusPetroniusabout 10 years ago
A magnificent start!

You are an immensely talented writer. Your writing is artful; it takes great skill to produce something as apparently effortless as this. In truth, writing of this caliber is astonishingly arduous. Thank you for the efforts that went into these your first work products.

The subject matter of your second submission ("Another Taste of Perfection") is more appealing to me than this one, but that's a matter of personal, individual taste. I look forward to following your further contributions.

You could ratchet up the technical level of your writing by studying the correct usage of the intransitive verb "lie" (past tense: lay, past participle: lain) versus the transitive verb "lay" (past tense: laid, past participle: laid). 99% of Literotica writers are clueless on this score, but you deserve to put yourself in the top 1%!

SplendidSpunkSplendidSpunkabout 10 years ago
Good?

Who am I to judge? But I damn well love the way you think, and write. So sexy, raw, wet, hot...more please!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Mom has got to join!

That Mom was wrong to demand that her daughter eat her pussy and fuck her with dildos, but a beautiful step daughter - that is less a problem, and would be really hot!

Please give us a chapter with that scene.

DarkkBrothaOneDarkkBrothaOneover 4 years ago
It's ok...

I give you kudos on the sizzle, but the steak was waaaaay underdone. Next time, please take your time. Your characters are highly underdeveloped, the plot is thin, and poor Alison didn't even get to finish her story. And what about the aftermath? Did the sisters become lovers or was this simply a rape by other means? While I got into it, I would have hoped that you might have added more to it. A 3 star outing. Thanks for the effort.

Anonymous
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