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Click here"I'll tell you what!" he yelled. "You can come inside and spend the night here!"
"Oh, thank you so much!" she cried. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Jenna turned around and sprinted into his house. Mr. Hardown closed the front door behind her. At that moment, Mr. Hardown came up with a great idea.
"You want to know what I've always wanted, Jenna?" he asked. "Well, besides a fucking hot cheerleader?"
"What's that?" Jenna asked.
"A fucking hot cheerleader that was also a very obedient servant," he answered.
"Hmm, I think I can do that," she replied.
"Good," he said. "Now, let's get you to bed. When the sun rises, you can start cooking my breakfast. That should help cover your nightly rent for the time being."
"Whatever you say, Mr. Hardown," Jenna answered. "Whatever you say."
Mr. Hardown smiled, and the two of them headed upstairs to his bedroom. Yep. Cheerleader discipline felt pretty damn good. And if tonight's events truly promised great things ahead, having a cheerleader that would slave away and serve him meals at his command would taste just as great.
- COMMENTS
mrsterygorover 7 years agoAuthorThank you for the feedback and constructive criticism.
It's been nearly two years since I wrote this story, but you do bring up some valid points there.
Regarding the first cent: this story (and the 1st chapter of this series) was definitely a learning experience for me as a writer. This series probably should have gone under the nonconsent/reluctance genre from the beginning, and it should have been written as such. It went the direction that it ended up going in, readers voiced their skepticism, and I learned from it and improved as a writer.
Regarding the second cent: I haven't read this story in a while, but feedback like yours definitely served as a reminder that I needed to do a better job rereading and editing my stories before I publish them on Literotica.
Thanks again for the constructive criticism. I do appreciate it.
Anonymousover 7 years agoFirst cent: another example that supports nonconsent is the principal destroying the cheerleader's panties resulting in her being publicly humiliated. Second cent: details are important -- cheerleader's top cannot be removed with handcuffs in place.
mrsterygorover 9 years agoAuthorBased on the feedback and the votes that this story has received so far, it's evident that this chapter was not as popular, well written, or arousing as the first chapter of this series. While this news is disappointing, it's essential for me to learn where I went wrong so that I can get back on track, improve my writing, and tell great stories. My main goals are to entertain and arouse my readers and have my work receive strong recognition/acclaim, and I will do whatever I need to do to achieve those goals. Unless there is a huge response or strong demand, this will more than likely be the final chapter of my "A Taste of Cheerleader Discipline" series. I will continue to write and submit erotic stories, but they will have no direct connection to this series. Thanks again for reading, voting, and/or providing me with feedback.
mrsterygorover 9 years agoAuthorWhen I wrote this erotic story, I intended for it to be a BDSM story.
Based on the feedback that I have received thus far, it's evident that it's a BDSM story in name only. I am aware that BDSM is intended to be consensual sex, though it definitely has its controversial aspects.
When I wrote this, I wanted to emphasize the power, dominance, and control that
Mr. Hardown had over Jenna. However, it seems that I forgot to include crucial aspects of BDSM, such as the safe word.
Unfortunately, it seems that a significant number of readers view it as a story that belongs in the nonconsensual/reluctance genre, which was not my intention.
I think what it ultimately comes down to is that ten pages of material isn't enough to properly tell a BDSM story and do it justice. There needed to be more buildup and development, and having one prior chapter was clearly not enough to fully establish what I wanted to be established in this series.
l will go back to writing BDSM at some point, but for now, I think I will either return to the point where I started or try out other genres.
Thanks for the feedback and constructive criticism.
Perpetually23over 9 years agoThis series really does deserve a nonconsensual tag, but that doesn't make it a bad series. Her enjoying the situation doesn't make it not rape (if that make sense). He blackmailed her, he drugged her, and there was no safe word.
Personally, I like stories that deal with blackmail, abduction, and rapey things like that because I'm just weird I guess, but I don't like it when stories confuse rape with consensual bdsm. It makes bdsm look bad, so just make sure you are clear about what is consensual and what is not when tagging and categorizing your stories.
