All Comments on 'A Time Well Spent'

a lot of knowledge is helpful in acquiring retribution, TK U MLJ LV NV

Yes, a good BTB story, no that cuckoldry shit............

I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you once again for another good story. Easily worth 5 stars.

It may be wishful thinking but, I'd like to see a prologue story on how he got fucked over.

An epilogue dealing with the fallout and subsequent incarceration would also be nice.

I'm also a little curious regarding the social worker. Her appearance and sudden involvement with Tom seems to have a backstory to it as well.

...not up to your usual standards. I get Julie at the hotel, but straight into a relationship with Natalie? I can understand that happening long term, but the time lines in the whole story were just too compressed and contrived for me. May be the Sheila's on Oz are just that (bit) more forward! Please keep writing though, I do enjoy your stories.

I only gave you a three because you just rushed through it to the point that I was breathing hard when it was read and that was not from sexual arousal. This might have been up to your usual standards if it was expanded to perhaps double or triple the length, as that would have been what was needed to deal with all of the details.

Take a walkabout and regroup.

IMHO this was exceedingly boring as the outcome was obvious and there was virtually no building of a relationship.A confrontation with the ex would have at least put a bit of excitement in this tale.I thank you for your efforts.

This was a poor mixture of law systems as both British and American terms are used .You should have settled for one or the other .

Domroger, if you check his biography, you'll find Mr C's domicile is Australia, which has States and Crown Prosecutors and Barristers.

I do agree it's a little rushed, but written with a flowing entertaining style, and has the makings of a good yarn if expanded.

I gave you a five because I enjoyed the story. It was not your best, but neither was it your worst. As others have commented it was a bit rushed, and could have used double the length to develop things a bit more. Predictable? Yes, but most stories on here are, so that is not a real criticism in my book. All told, I enjoyed the tale, and I would enjoy it even more if you would rewrite and resubmit it with more development of the relationships.

The speed at which he was courted threatened to break the light barrier. Other than that the plot was fine.

This isn't a romance story, it's a crime story, one that the readers are not given enough information to solve. Everything goes too fast and too pat.

Thanks for sharing.

A good read....a little quick, but still enjoyable. Call it a good Readers Digest version......Thank you

There was never any physical description of Julie, Natalie or Tom. Also it was never explained why Natalie picked up Tom outside of prison. A lot of things kind of got rushed aside. Otherwise, a pretty good story.

Cromagnon, I do love these intellectual puzzles. Sorry but I do have to agree with the other commentators complaining you rushed the story and ended it too abruptly.

I must admit, the character of Natalie gave me a raging hard-on of paranoia. That she so conveniently drives by just as Tom walks out of the prison? Excuse me?

I think her actions could have added a couple of chapters of ambiguity to the story. Perhaps as an undercover Internal Affairs officer? Perhaps voluntarily working for Rob? Perhaps pretending to be blackmailed by Mitchell or Browne and pretending to act as their agent?

Lots of possibilities for an expanded storyline with all kinds of deliciously mind-boggling twists and turns. I urge you to consider turning this story into a novellette?

Enjoyable for sure, I gave it a high grade... I get the sense you could add to the characters and scenes (steamy parts !) and even suggest a bit of the antagonists POV, even if you need a 2nd part. I repeat, Enjoyed this story !

Also, it would not let me designate it a favorite. I like seeing things through to the bitter end and would like to have seen the prison terms meted out to the miscreants and the amount he collected in damages from his ex-wife and her father etc. I really enjoyed the story and the humor stuck in with the serious parts. Thank you for writing.

I went back and tried again and it let me rate it etc.

Were you writing an "international" version or telling an English story? The Governor issuing a pardon ? Shouldn't that have been the Home Office (or the Sovereign?). There were a few other, minor, continuity errors, but I liked the story, for all it being a trifle thin at times.

It read like it was an abstract, a précis or condensed version, which is a pity because it has potential for a damned good tale.

That said, I enjoyed it

Thank you

HP

Cromagnonman is Australian, and is writing an Australian story. As a former British colony, we are still a constitutional monarchy, with the Queen at its head. She is represented at the Federal level by the Governor-General, and at the State level by Governors, all of whom are appointed by the Queen, on the recommendation of the Federal or State Government.

In this case, the State Attorney-General would recommend to the Governor that a pardon be granted - it would be most unusual for the Governor not to accept that recommendation.

Complex, heart felt, compelling but again the narrator is always a bit disconnected and removed - but still right there, all the way through.

Another political story as well as a good crime novella - with critique of the legal system. Well done and thank you -

world wide to include the us of a corruption at the highest level of the justice system is revealed

it all seemed just a tad too slick.

As he walks out of the prison he is intercepted by a kindly and benevolent social worker who offers him a ride. He is taken to a residential hotel that offers a private room, full meal service, and a friendly woman to join him in bed.

Miraculously his generous benefactor finds him an apartment, takes him shopping for all his domestic needs and finagles a copy of the key piece of evidence to get his conviction overturned.

All of the while he is buying dinners, paying rent, putting down deposits, purchasing clothes, hiring barristers, with no source of income.

Ultimately the entire cosmos aligns so he and his newly acquired fiancé can ride off into the sunset awaiting a financial windfall for his unjust conviction and wrongful incarceration.

all just a bit convenient and coincidental.

I enjoy your writing style and stories. You certainly don't think much of your cops. Anyway, another 5* from a Yank.

This seems like an outline for a story that still needs 'fleshed out', even too compressed for a "Reader's Digest" version.

A headlong rush through it where details would have made it a better story.

I love detective stories mixed with romance...and this was a good one...

Great Reading and well written. Too Short, thats the problem. btw, Im sure you knew, its Kuala LumpUr.

I point out that a person is given to the guilty not the innocent. That would be a reversal of decision or something like that to wipe the record clean.

I liked it, wish it was more extensive and sequel

Loved every word. What a great story. One thousand stars! CC

Second time reading this story is there any chance of a follow on to this? One of your best, five stars more if possible.

Is there follow up? AAAA+++

A great story. The pace & context fit very well together. I thoroughly enjoyed the style & content. Perhaps a series of stories could continue with Tom, Natalie & Rob.

Great, absolutely lovely. Wish there was a follow up so we could see them a few years afterwards.

The course of justice and .take funny bounces sometimes. Kinda like a bouncing football .

I have long understood that there is your side, my side and the truth which lies somewhere between or possibly completely outside the question at hand

Too good to be true? Real life is often stranger than fiction. A romance that is a must read.

Where is the rest of this damn story?????

Wonderful story. Here's a memorable quote from the top portion of page 2.

<The bathroom had just enough room to swing a cat without braining it on the walls>

With prose like that how can I NOT give it 5 stars? :o)

Great story about a con who used the time in prison to further his education. Sure wish more would do the same.

The bonus was him exposing corrupt cops/lawyers/ influential people and them getting the shaft.

NOTE: there are MANY good cops out there and MAYBE some good lawyers( : < }) that get tainted because of a few. SAD-----

Very delightful reading