All Comments on 'A View to Die For'

This story seams sew realistic especially with the reality of kids, prior anguish, and patience. The story was enjoyable two reed and made cents. I wood like too sea second follow up story. Good job and thanks!

You're a good story-teller. Good pace and real people for characters. The comment by Anonymous was a funny read of its own and I expectred some spelling issues in your story. But none materialized. Not sure what Anon's point was. Will there be a chapter two on the rally after you finish the race? Hope so.

and the explanations for those unfamiliar with Australia and its auto racing rules weren't overly intrusive. I like Tiffany and the children: well-drawn characters, even if slightly too-good-to-be-true.

But you really need to stop the run-on sentences, and use paragraph breaks to let us know who's speaking. Using the services of a copy editor familiar with Australian usage would be a help.

try hard to recover more and better, TK U MLJ LV NV

Lets hear what happened during and after the rally!!

I liked the story, maybe a few more chapters are in order.

I liked the characters, and the way you described the guy in the wheelchair getting on with his life, and perving at the next-door neighbour.

My only complaint is that the dialog sounded stilted in places, like they were reading their lines. How old are the kids? They just sound a bit mature for pre-pubescents.

This part could have become three paragraphs IMHO:

> Tiffany had to work tonight ... it was noon before we got out of bed ... After a light lunch of sandwiches and coffee she invited me to join her at the pool.

In a single paragraph you went from afternoon to midnight to lunch and a dip in the pool. Adding those paragraphs would help signal the passage of time.

Fun read, though. :)

Now that deteriorating health has left me a professional pedestrian (the quick or the dead) for the last few years. Watching how poorly most people drive is much more noticeable from my POV (dashing, well hobbling for the sidewalk). All that advanced technology and powerful machinery and people never seem to make any effort to learn to use either properly or safely.

I remember years ago there was n analysis done of Police Accident Reports that vividly displayed that PAR invariably blamed the pedestrian for causing the accidents. The analysis showed two biases by the Investigators.

First, that the Police were themselves drivers and would skew their conclusions in favor of the involved drivers when they stopped to render assistance to the stricken pedestrian. And focus their reports on any possible fault by the pedestrian.

Second, the Police enjoy chasing perceived criminals. When the driver failed to stop and render aid and the police had the opportunity to pursue. Their reports would invariably blame the driver and overlook any possible pedestrian contribution to their involvement.

You obviously know about driving and some fair bit about people. It shows in all of your stories -

The relationship needs to fill out but I suspect it will LOL.