All Comments on 'A Walk on the Bi Side'

or maybe just read it more carefully.

"Lick her ass Jon; stick her tongue into her tight ass..." is an example.

However, the technical details were distracting. Most paragraphs had at least one error of some kind. This causes the reader to stop for just a moment and it breaks the flow of the story. This could have been a 5star story if you had proofread it or had someone else edit it. Please, do continue the story buy edit and proofread before submission.

Thanks a mill for the feedback, really appreciated. This was our first attempt at a story so I've still lots to learn, your feedback is most welcome :)

Loved the story, really hot. I wish my husband would set something like this up for me. I'd love to see him take a mans tight ass while I licked a hot woman to a shuddering climax. Please continue the story ;)

Not Loving Wives.

1*

Lots of carelessness, be careful with pronouns and homonyms (MAY be autocorrect problems, like 'climbs' when 'climes' was intended ... 'Climates' would NOT have been altered!). (But there were too many problems for it ALL to be autocorrect! As was mentioned, the author MUST re-read before submission, preferably a day or more 'cold!' )

Generally, LW is a tough rating audience. If it fits in Group, the author will be treated more kindly. Not sure if Gay, although it also fits, would be tolerant about the hetero aspects! Probably more tolerant than LW!

3*

For example...

Look at your own comment. OUR first ... I'VE got ... !!!

Are you many or are you one?

Really appreciate the feedback :) I'll certainly bear it in mind for the next one. The reason for confusion between "I've" and "our" is that my wife and I are having fun writing for each other and then posting to Lit, her story is coming soon. 'Sexfest' is the two of us :)

Didn't know which group to put this in but I guess LW was clearly the wrong one .

that it would have been better received in 'group sex.' This, I'm afraid, is where homophobics and misogynists get together to claim that everything was better in the 'old days.'

I won't mark your story (unless, of course, you post something similar in LW again)

We enjoyed reading your story very much, could not care less about catagories. More please!

Really hot story...please write more. I came so hard reading this

This story reminds me of a trip we took. So hot thinking you can be seen and watched while getting really horned up. I would have made you take his cock in your ass while she ground herself on your tongue... That's what we did, I loved watching my man take a hard cock, watching it slide into his hungry ass while I covered his face in my juices... Do write more :)

That is one hot story. Tried to give you 5 starts, but sometimes, it just won't let you rate. Hope you continue their adventures.

You are one lucky son of a bitch. Wish my wife was a slut like that. I came all over my chest reading this... More pls!!!

Why didn't you both fuck her, missed opportunity... I suspect a cock sucker like you would loved to lucky yours and his cum from her tits

I'd love to see my man suck on a big hard cock while I watch. I love dressing him in panties and making him lick my pussy after he has dropped a big load in me. But to see him swallow cum straight from the source would be amazing!

Part two pls

This is misfiled. Gay category supersedes other categories

Really needs editing. Confusing at times, wrong words, etc.

Super hot story, better editing please for next one. But a great sexy tale (let him take your sexy tail next time)...

Great story! Really hot! Really enjoyed it. Waiting anxiously for part 2.

Another kinky couple... Love it. Love for me and my bf to meet you guys on holidays.... Would love to teach you how to get really wild. I love sucking on a married woman's pussy will my bf takes me from behind

But needs finesse, some bit are confusing. But with that said I did cum reading it, so thank you

She sounds like just my kind of slut. I'd love to fill her with my spunk, I might even let you clean her up after

Great, I just flooded my pants in work reading that. When's part two?

I liked it, ready for more.

Thanks

Nice first story, I love truly bi stories.

You characters have substance, keep pushing their limits.

I an looking forward to more!

Hot hot hot

What a great story. I loved the hint of submissiveness in both of them and the dominant strike in Sara. You should exploit this making Paul and Sara dominants over them; using them.

Keep going!

Would love to meet two hot sluts like you on holidays. Once saw a couple on a beach who knew we were watching. They performed like total sluts for our enjoyment and we saw him cum over her tits on the beach. Love the idea of her watching me cum as she smeared his cum into herself like lotion.

V hot story, v hot couple :) inthe next one why doesnt kate get fucked by Paul while you and sara suck her wet pussy and his cock as it slides in.... Mmmm you have to love a cream pie

Man, that was a pretty hot story. We're trying to find the right couple to explore somethin like that at the moment. Loved the description of taking a cock in your mouth for the first time. Look forward to reading more. x

I liked it. the nearest I have come to this is a guy in his 60s stroking himself while I fucked his old wife and cumming on my arse while I did her doggy style. The reason I was fucking her was that they told me that he couldn't get hard anymore. Go figure.

This is a great try at an interesting tale but a good solid round of proof reading and grammar/syntax would have made it so much more interesting.

Scattered thoughts and wording don't he l.p.. still, nice attempt.

Almost from the start, there were too many inconsistencies. The couple went back to their apartment and started sex on a couch, afterwards he rolled off her onto his back. Then they fell asleep and woke the next morning, where!? Then they see the couple, I can only assume, from next door. She eyes him, who? I had to reread that part several time alone to keep the fluidity of the story in my head. Didn’t take much longer to give up reading it. Think through the storyline so that your settings are completely visible in your mind without being vague. Proof read it after writing to make sure it makes sense for your readers.