by GavMasterB
you got let him get all 3 married to em,but all 3 share him dad has to go somehow. so the 3 women can be clear for the kids he puts in them.
A lot in this story is very revealing. It is difficult for young guy with hot mom and sis. Should write about the times you peeped and jo. Stay real
"...11:00am by the time I woke up in the morning." What, as opposed to 11am at night?!
But, hey, I'm just nitpicking - your whole story was garbage, not just that one little bit.
A story doesn't have to mirror reality 100% to be sexy and erotic. I thought this was great. Keep it up!
A great first story I gave it high points. The rude anon. persons just don't get it. They are definitely just jealous because they don't have your talent and are to frighten to put their no talent names to their rude comments. It's a great to see that we have new talented writers coming along so just ignore the no talent anonymous ( haters )
the three of them are arguing and yelling but the dad never wakes up YEAH RIGHT. the whole thing needs a total rewrite by a GOOD WRITER USING A GOOD EDITOR.
It was an erotic and sexy first story, I can't wait to hear about the dad and daughter and anything else you write.
sonny boy comes off as a wuss and mommy and sissy are painted as scum of the earth whores. is the neighbors dog safe from these two skanks?
ruined this story from a 5 to a 1 star on last sentence...
Liked the story. It is ashame that mother and daughter could not relate to each other better than they did. It appears that no one in this family ever talked to or try to understand the other's emotional, psychological and physical situation. Rated 4 stars due to lack of indepth character development.