After All Ch. 01

Dan's lips brushed her cheeks and glided over her mouth. His breath reeked of cigarettes and alcohol, but still she tried to arch up to take his kiss. He kept her held steady and denied her need. His right hand released her ass and moved slowly over her hips and up her quivering stomach to rest between her heaving breasts. They were full and beautiful and firm and Dan admired them as he held her up.

Jessica pushed the vibrator up hard on her clit as he pinned her and inspected her body. She could feel the rising swell of excitement in her pussy lips as she submitted to being Dan's new doll. Just a pretty thing for him to play with, she thought madly to herself. She had never wanted to be so used in her life and almost wanted to sob out the joy of it.

Dan released her throat and used both hands to grasp her pink, hard nipples. He twisted and pinched them severely as he pressed himself against her shaking body. "AAAHHH!" Jessica yelled out with pain and desire.

"You're a toy, Jessica," Dan muttered in a low and even voice, almost reading her mind. "You're just a pretty little toy, with pretty little buttons and knobs." He savagely twisted her nipples again and pushed hard against her tits and Jessica felt her back slam against the bookcase. A couple of books fell out and crashed to the floor and she cried out again and felt the wave of orgasm start to push over the seawall of her restraint.

"You need only for someone to pull your string and you'll sing." He dropped his right hand to her pussy and pushed two fingers up inside of her as his index finger stretched out and touched her asshole. The other hand he used to grasp her face again and hold it still while he kissed her open and silently screaming mouth.

"FFFUUUCK!" She yelled into his lips as she came and crashed and tried to sink, only to be held up by his large, strong hands. There was another wave that pushed over her as she shuddered and a last smaller one that fell down to her toes and seemed to stay and sit there in a tingling puddle. Dan removed his hands gently and pulled her to him in an embrace. Jessica's head rested on his shoulder as he held her and she wanted to sleep. It was the most terrific orgasm she had ever had and it had wiped her out. Again, as if reading her mind, or probably just body language, Dan reached down and scooped her up off her feet and carried her to the bed. She was about to try to rouse herself and give him some kind of reason why she couldn't sleep with him -- mostly because she was just exhausted -- when she felt him put blankets over her and cover her naked body. His hand caressed her cheek and he kissed her forehead.

"Get some rest. I'll be right here," he said and then returned to his desk. Jessica's eyes watered and she almost reached out to him, but the blankets were so warm and the tingling in her toes had mellowed and spread a delightful sensation to the rest of her. She slept.

Jessica's eyes opened and she blinked several times before she could remember where she was. The bedroom had grown dark, except for some bright glow coming from somewhere below her feet. She remembered everything that had happened and slowly pushed the blankets aside. The glow was coming from the computer monitor as Dan sat there staring at it and occasionally tapping something out on the keyboard. He looked miserable. The harsh light from the screen aged him some ten or fifteen years and the sadness she had seen weeks ago was fully present on his face. He rested his cheek in a hand that also gripped a cigarette while the other moved and danced slowly over the keyboard. His expression never changed and Jessica had the impression of him as some kind of bored pianist, just trying out different notes and hoping if he just gets one string right, he could maybe sleep tonight. She watched him, but he didn't seem to notice her.

"Do you know why a man and a woman can't stay together?" He asked the computer screen. Jessica suddenly knew he was really addressing her, had known she was awake probably since she first moved. She propped herself up on her left arm and held the blanket over her breasts. She looked at him for a few seconds before responding.

"I'm not sure..."

"Because it's just easier not to." His voice sounded strange - slightly drunk and terribly sad. She didn't know what to say, but he waited patiently.

"I don't think it has to be that way," she said after a long pause.

"I used to think so, too... Used to think it was worth the struggle... Now..." Jessica felt awful and contemplated leaving, but she dismissed the emotion and focused on his pained expression. She couldn't fathom how to bring him out of his misery, but she knew how to distract him at least. He had let her read his writing and had brought her to an ecstasy she didn't know existed before. She knew she didn't want him to fuck her, not like this, but she had to reach out and tell him how wonderful his gifts were, what they meant to her.

She withdrew the blanket and slid off the bed. She held her nude body slightly arched to display her breasts and walked slowly over to him. He watched her from the corner of his eye and snubbed out his cigarette. She came to stand beside him and reached out, purely by instinct, and ran her left hand through his hair. He pinched his eyes shut and breathed out sharply through his nose.

"Just go," he whispered. "I don't want you here." Jessica heard the lie in his words and caressed his soft hair and pulled her nails along his scalp. He leaned his head against her hand and asked her to leave again, but this time with no conviction at all. Jessica placed the index finger of her other hand on his lips.

"Shhh," she whispered. "Just relax. Let it go for a little while. Just for a bit."

Dan groaned and he tried to sit up. Jessica reacted by leaning over him and kissing his lips. He let her kiss him for a second, then lightly pushed her away. He wished he could stand up, but doubted he could manage it.

"You're beautiful, Jessica, and any man would be crazy to refuse your affection, but the next time you want to kiss me, I need it to be because you want me, not because you feel sorry for me. You understand?"

Jessica nodded. She didn't mean to pity him, but she couldn't think of the right way to say it. Instead, she simply touched his face and smiled and said, "I'll see you Sunday." Then she put on her clothes, took some time in the bathroom adjusting her appearance and quietly left the apartment.

It was 10:30, but she didn't think either her roommate or Tim would question her coming home a little late. She wasn't expecting him that night and her roommate largely kept to herself. Still, even if Tim paid her a surprise visit, she was sure she could shoo him away by claiming she needed to study, which she did.

She had cheated on a couple of boyfriends in high school, but that was different. Everyone seemed to be doing it and she was never very sure how she felt about the guys she dated, so it didn't bother her too much. Even though she wasn't sure this was cheating at all, it still bothered her. Tim was different. She loved him more than she had loved anyone yet. She concentrated on the train tracks as she waited for the subway and gave herself over a little to self-loathing. Tim would never understand if he found out... Jessica wasn't sure she understood it either. She calmed her worry with the thought that the next time she was there, she would have the same kind of control she had tonight. She could simply clean the apartment and never knock on his door. Or, she thought as she felt a tingle stir in some mysterious corner of her libido, she could choose to enter and close the door and give herself over to his command.