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Click hereHe actually stared this time...he couldn't help it. Her body was beyond any he had ever dreamed of. Her breasts would fit in his hands perfectly. A little on the small side, but actually looked large on her small frame. Under the water, his cock sprang to life. Sarah offered him her hand to help her into the tub. Keeqoht would need to stand to assist her but was at the moment rather hesitant to do so.
She took his hand and smiled knowingly at him. "Do not worry about offending me." Her smile broadened. "I'd probably be offended if you were not aroused."
He slowly stood and helped her into the tub, only slightly embarrassed. Her eyes widened when she saw his rigid manhood and she whispered something he could not hear clearly, but sounded like. "Oh, my!"
Keeqoht silently cursed his cock for seeming to have a mind of its own. He had to be honest with himself though...he wanted her. Once again, he had to remind himself that he was nobody special while she was royalty...part of the ruling class here in Chica. He had read stories of princesses living happily ever after with common ordinary men. But, that was just in the stories, right?Happily ever after?Where the hell did that come from? Once again, the urge...the sudden need to take her into his arms and kiss very nearly overwhelmed him. And once again, he was able to resist, although just barely this time. Images of them making sweet passionate love battled for dominance in his mind. He needed to get his thoughts on something else in one hell of a hurry. "Do you happen to know where Hok'ee is?" He asked. "I haven't seen him since the evening meal."
Another of her knowing smiles. "He is, ah...entertaining my mother." The way she said it left little doubt as to what was happening in Aviva's quarters. She sat next to him, almost within reach. Her smile almost seemed to be inviting. Keeqoht thought humorously.Well, at least someone must be enjoying their evening...and so much for getting my thoughts on something other than sex.He returned his gaze to her eyes. She looked into his. For the second time, something unknown seemed to pass between them.
Then unexpectedly, Sarah cursed softly, reached over, grasped Keeqoht's head with both hands and kissed him fiercely. Their tongues danced together. He brought his arms around her tightly. Only one thought came to his mind.Perfect, perfect, perfect.
After too short a time, she broke the kiss, holding her forehead against his, looking deeply into his eyes. One hand slipped into the water and she grabbed his hard shaft, stoking it. She whispered breathlessly. "It's so big. Even bigger than...." She froze! Sadness swept over her face. "Forgive me...I'm sorry...I can't...I can't." She jumped out of tub and for the second time in one night, a lovely naked female ran away from him, crying.
He was left wondering what he done wrong this time. And, he began to wonder why he hadn't visited the bawdy house. But...his troubles ran much deeper than that. For now, there was no longer a doubt. Keeqoht was in love.
To be continued...maybe....
I am again submitting a story unedited. I sent it out to three and have heard nothing back in over three weeks. I am beginning to become disillusioned with the editing program here.
As previously stated, whether or not I really do continue with this story will be up to you, the readers. I do have some, what I think are good ideas, so I do hope that it is well received.
As always, please feel free to comment. I don't even mind the bad comments as long as they are constructive. Be forewarned though...abusive criticism or cheap shots will be deleted.
DS
please keep going, I read another world loved it wish you could finish it...Larry
Have been without a working computer for over a year. Next chapter is in progress.
I loved the story so far. Please continue it as soon as possible.
It's all takes time, if you remember from the military. Be cool. I got your 6. TSgt. USAF Retired tanks, sqhead
As others have said, the first capter is very good and I would encourage you to continue with it.
I enjoyed this story and I hope that you continue to add to it. I am looking forward to the next installment. Thank you.
So I'm very stingey with my stars but I gave you all five because the story deserves them AND in the hopes that you'll continue...please, please continue. By the way, did I say please? Because I meant to. LOL
I very much like your first chapter. I think it could develop into a top notch series.
It is definitely a great start to a very interesting story. I really look forward to the next chapter.
I do hope you hear back from your editors, though there weren't many mistakes. A few things that might've been better shown, rather than told, but all in all a good start.
Please keep up your writing a very good tale in the making
This story is well thought out and very impressive. I agree that there is very little needed. As to the prior comment, while it is understandable if you are not American or have non visited the states, it is hard to understand that this is a nation of diverse cultures and ecosystems. I myself live in a state that cannot be driven across in a single day and that has 3 of the largest cities in the U.S. It is admirable that the author is able to convey the uniqueness of these qualities of this nation.
I have started Chapter 2 of "After". I'm also working on "On Another World" Chapter 11. As I have previously mentioned, I'm a bit on the slow side when it comes to writing. The stories will be coming out...eventually.
I am not sure why you have chosen awkward names (that is awkward to me), as a non American not all your descriptions of geographical changes mean much. I do however think most of them most unlikely. Still as said the story is enjoyable (to me anyway) so I hope there will be more to come.
a real good start, fantastic build to the story please do keep going with this I would like to see how it goes
You've wet our appetite now continue, don't leave us hanging.
How about 'On Another World' is it done or will it continue?
If this story was unedited then you don't need someone to edit your work. IMHO
I understand you haven't been able to find a responsive editor. The story needs only minor editing, anyway, but it would help. Hopefully you can find someone who will respond. Keep the series going!
kind of "Thundarr," (yes I know about "Thundarr the Barbarian" although the show is probably older than I am, thank you Cartoon Network) meets "Book of Eli". I like it and have just got to know what happens between Keeqoht and Sarah. Not to mention what other surprises your twisted mind has in store for them and all the other characters. As a fan of your others stories I know you have some interesting surprises in store for this story as well. (P.S. about your other stories I really hope that if you do keep story going that you still plan to finish On Another World. Especially with the war really starting to heat up and not to mention Dee-Ess' situation with the girls.)
I liked this story because although fantasy it doesn't feel beyond all realms of possibility. Too many times stories seem to go for sensationalism. Yours left me wanting to read more about these characters and learn what develops for them (or not!).