Ain't Talkin' Bout Love

Four or five black clothed men rushed into the trailer and separated us. "Apparently they were proud of their limited education because they kept screaming out the alphabet and they were getting it wrong.

"D - E - A," they yelled. I had no idea what that meant.

"F - B - I," yelled others. That did seem vaguely familiar, but in my shocked state I thought I was at a debate for illiterate men who were trying really hard to get the alphabet right.

I was thrown down onto the floor and not to gently. My hands were restrained behind my back with some of those plastic things that we used to tie up the garbage bags.

The men began ripping the trailer up with a vengeance. "You're going to have to pay for everything you damage," screamed Steve.

"Hey ... dude, where's your fuckin' hair?" asked one of the agents. Steve glared at him but could do nothing more with his hands restrained. A couple of the agents snapped pictures of Steve without his hair.

"What are you Nazis looking for?" Steve asked them. Just as he got the question out, another man entered the trailer and he had a dog with him. It was a beautiful German Shepard. As soon as the dog came into the trailer it began sniffing and then it started to bark.

The man led the dog all over the trailer. It sniffed everything. As the dog got near the rear cabinets it started to bark loudly.

"Who does this bag belong to?" asked the officer handling the dog. "Steve immediately pointed at me. They began going through my bag and pulled out several plastic bags of a white powdery substance. I had never seen any of that stuff before.

"I am shocked," said Steve shaking his head. "How dare you bring drugs on my trailer?"

Before I knew what was going on, I was being led away in handcuffs.

* * * * * *

Sylina

"So where the hell have you been for the last few weeks?" she asked me. "Wherever it is, you're happier than I've ever seen you." I just smiled at her.

"We all went out to that new Pan Asian grill last night. You should have seen all of the guys checking us out." I yawned.

"So all of a sudden you're bored with going out?" she asked.

"I checked out a new restaurant last night too," I laughed. "It's kind of a trendy place where the younger, cooler crowd hangs out. You guys probably haven't been there."

"Where did you go?" she asked. "Is it expensive? Is it exclusive? What's it called?"

"It's called Chuck E. Cheese," I said.

"Is this like those Fondue places that were big in the 90's?" she asked. "I hope that isn't coming back. If you go to those places too often, your clothes start to smell like cheese and ... Are you serious? Isn't that place for kids?"

"Yep, we took the kids out for a night," I said. "The little darlings were so exhausted that they fell asleep as soon as they got into the car. That reminds me, I have to buy car seats for my BMW."

"Why?" she asked.

"Josh has this Mustang that he loves," I told her. "We always have to drive it because it has the car seats in it. It is a really nice car, a Shelby something or other. It has like 600 horsepower or some stupid thing like that. That car is loud as hell. I asked Josh about it and he said that it's supposed to sound like that. I think it's some kind of man call, because every place that we go to, half of the guys come over to talk to him about the car."

"I guess that would get kind of old, pretty fast," she said. "Doesn't the cheese place close up pretty early?" What did you do with the rest of the night?"

"We sat on the deck, under the stars and ... we ... uhm ... talked," I said.

"Ooh this sounds pretty serious," she said. "Last I heard, you hadn't talked with anyone since your accident. You've been a born again virgin for going on six years. And weren't you telling me that you had forgotten how to ... talk?"

"I guess it just took the right man to make me remember, or just to teach me how again," I smiled.

"Oh my God, you're blushing," she laughed. "Just the two of us talking about it has you seriously horny doesn't it?" I nodded quickly.

A chiming sound came from my phone. I silenced it and then threw back the rest of my iced tea. "I have to go, Dana. The kids will be out of school in thirty minutes. I have to pick them up and start dinner," I said.

"Are you high?" she asked. "That's what you have a maid and a personal assistant for."

"I enjoy it," I told her. "I love my kids. And I think I'm in love with their daddy too."

She just sat there shaking her head as I headed for my car. I had been picking the kids up for more than a week now. I loved it. I had met all of their teachers and Robbie had insisted on me picking him up instead of him going to the daycare center. Yvette went along with it too. I pulled out into traffic and thought about how much richer my life had become over the past few weeks.

Josh was slowly giving ground. I understood what he had gone through or was still going through. I had gone through something similar a few years ago.

One of the first things to come back to me after I got my memory back was the fact that I was supposed to be getting married. I had a fiancé somewhere. I went through all of my phone books and finally found Ted's phone number. I wondered why he hadn't called me during the whole time I was going through my therapy.

When I finally got him on the phone, he acted really funny. I chalked it up to him being in shock. He asked me to meet him for lunch. I met him in a restaurant on the first floor of the building he worked in. My memory was still a bit funny, but I recognized him from pictures of us I found in my photo albums and on my Facebook page.

We had a very sad conversation. Ted wasn't a bad guy. What happened was just life. For me it seemed as if it had only been a few weeks that we'd been apart. For him it had been more than three years. He had visited me faithfully. He had waited for some signs of recovery. Finally he had mourned me. And then life happened. Ted was married and had a child of his own by then. He apologized profusely, but I told him it wasn't necessary. I understood. At the time I really hadn't, but I told him so, just the same.

As I drove along headed for the freeway, I realized that it had all been for the best. These first few weeks with Josh and the kids had made me feel as if my heart had wings. What I had with Ted had never come close to this. It was my last thought.

I had stopped at a traffic light and was waiting for the light to turn green when one of the cars crossing the intersection suddenly veered right for me. The impact accordioned the front of my car as if it was made of cardboard. My airbag went off and I felt dizzy.

The first thing on my mind was the kids. I called Josh at work. I got his secretary. Over the last few weeks we had become at least cordial, if not friendly.

"Mona, I've been in an accident," I said. "Tell Josh he has to get the kids and..." That was it. I passed out after that. I don't remember any pain, I just blacked out.

The first thing that I remember waking up was that my hand hurt. It felt like it was in a vice. I opened my eyes and looked into my favorite face.

"Are you trying to break my hand?" I mumbled. My mouth felt like it was full of cotton.

"Why are you crying?" I asked. "Where are the kids?"

"Mona came and pulled me out of my meeting," he said. "I called the school and had the kids taken to the daycare center so I could come here. I was really afraid."

I looked at him again and it was really there. It was that same look that my parents used to give me. I hadn't seen it since they passed. Despite my pain, I smiled. And then I just let go. For nearly a month I had been trying very hard to keep my guard up. I'd been so afraid of having my heart broken again that I had been trying to keep Josh at arm's length.

Sure we were a couple and we were always together and he lit me up in the bedroom. I also found myself thinking about him all day long. That hadn't happened with Ted. But that little bit of fear and uncertainty had caused me to hold back a bit.

But the look in his eyes blasted through my reserve. I could no longer hold anything back. This man owned me body and soul. And there was simply nothing I could do about it.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why what?" he asked going on the defensive.

"Why did you drop everything and rush over here?" I asked. The pain meds had me drifting off again.

"I don't know. I just had to," he said. "I had no control over it."

"Just go ahead and say it," I said.

"Say what?" he asked. My eyes closed. I think he thought I was asleep.

"I love you Sylina," he said. "I know it's only been a month but I..."

My eyes popped back open. "That wasn't so hard was it?" I asked. "I love you too."

The next few days were both wonderful and awful. Although I wasn't seriously hurt, they wanted to keep me in the hospital for three days to thoroughly evaluate my condition. That stemmed largely from my history. They were really worried about the possibility of a concussion and with my being struck so hard in the first accident that I went into a coma. Another head trauma might severely damage my already fragile brain. Two out of the three days that I was there, they ordered MRIs of my head.

Every day after that first day, Josh brought the kids to see me. I felt so good when little Robbie ran into the room, climbed up onto my bed and hugged me like he never wanted to let go. Yvette was very shy, but she walked over and held my hand.

On the fourth day I was told that I would be going home that afternoon. I could see that the nurses were relieved because I hadn't been a very good patient. I freaked out as they were going over the details of what I could and couldn't do. I was I supposed to stay in bed for at least another three days. I had several prescriptions for my dizziness and headaches, but was assured that I would be fine. My bruises would go away over the next few days. My only injuries were the concussion and a few cracked ribs that made breathing a bit uncomfortable. All in all I had been very lucky.

My car had been totaled. The guy who hit me hadn't been so lucky. He hadn't been wearing a seatbelt and was catapulted through the windshield of his car. The resulting trauma to his head had rendered him brain dead. As a way of letting some good come of things, his family had donated all of his organs.

I was a bit upset at the nurses and the doctors for not giving me time to make arrangements for my care when I left the hospital. The nurse who was giving me the rundown on what I could and couldn't do looked at me like I was crazy when I told her that I might need to stay another day or two until I could arrange for someone to take care of me.

"Your husband is taking care of all of that," she said. "It's already arranged. He's going to take off a few days from work to take care of you. Why would you want a nurse when can have him with you? I would love to have him looking after me for a few days. I would stretch it out for as long as I could. You're a lucky woman."

Just as she told me that, Josh showed up. He was grinning from ear to ear. He leaned over and gently kissed me.

"Are you smiling because you pulled one over on those gullible nurses, or because you've imagined keeping me trapped as some kind of live in sex slave?" I asked.

His smile quickly faded. "Sylina, I'm sorry," he said. "You don't know how hard it's been these past four days. I missed seeing you for more than a few hours at a time. I missed you so much and I never imagined that you wouldn't want to come home with us. I'll..."

"Josh, shut up," I said. "I was joking. I never imagined that anyone would look at taking care of me was something they would want to do. Most of my friends are more of the "I'll see you when you're better / we'll have lunch type." He looked hurt again. That was when I realized that I wasn't crazy. This thing with Josh was far more serious than my relationship with Ted had been. This man cared about me so much that I seemingly held his heart in the palm of my hand.

"I thought that we were a lot closer than just friends," he said sadly.

"And you were right," I said quickly. I had to look away from him. At that moment it wasn't my head that I was worried about. I felt so happy that I thought my heart was going to explode.

Josh took me home in that awful Mustang of his. The soft leather of his interior cushioned and caressed my sore body. I still wouldn't buy one of those cars. It was like being in a race car. The steering was so jarring that it constantly felt as if we were spinning every time we went around a corner. And you felt every bump and dip in the road.

But I knew that Josh loved that car, so I got used to it. Maybe I would buy him a better one. Suddenly I realized yet another thing about Josh. He had no idea how much money I had. I knew that he had a great career as an engineer and had done really well for himself, but he didn't know about my money. That made me smile even more. He loved me for me.

The next few days were truly magical. Josh waited on me hand and foot. Robbie and Yvette drew pictures for me and fake-read stories to me from their books. Neither of them could read yet, but they went through the books and told me most of the story from memory and from looking at the pictures.

As I began to feel better, I remembered my nurse's words about stretching things out for as long as I could. I shouldn't have worried about it. After the first week of my three days was up, Josh volunteered to drive me back to my condo so I could pick up more clothes. He was letting his in laws take the kids out to lunch so we would have time.

We drove his Jeep to my condo. It would carry more and he was worried about the Mustang's ride quality not being good for my condition. When we got to my condo, I quickly packed a few essentials and noticed him looking at me.

"That's all you're bringing?" he asked. I didn't really understand his question.

"I cleared out one wall of the closet for you and all of the drawers on one side of the dresser," he said. The look on his face told me that he wasn't the only one who wanted to stretch my visit out.

Two weeks and several more trips to the condo had resulted in almost all of my clothes and personal items being firmly ensconced in the house with Josh and the kids. My life was totally different. I used the Jeep while I waited for the delivery of my new car. My insurance company was replacing my car with a newer version.

My life was so much better. I awoke every morning next to a man that I worshipped. I made breakfast for Josh and the kids before he went off to work and I dropped the kids off at school. We didn't do daycare anymore; I picked them up and brought them home with me.

I spoke to other mothers while we waited for school to end and the flood of kids came streaming out of the school to tell us about their day. Over the course of a few weeks, I went from sleeping most of the day and shopping the rest of it, to playing the role of a suburban mom. I loved it. None of my friends understood it. They described it as drudgery, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I was even learning to cook.

On weekends, we packed up and took the kids on little excursions. My days were full and rewarding. Our weekends were fun and we bonded. The best parts though were our nights. Somehow Josh had turned me into a sex fiend. As soon as we put the kids in bed, my body vibrated with anticipation. I had visions streaming through my head as I anticipated what Josh would do to me that night.

One of the things I didn't expect was that Josh's in laws would accept me. I expected some bitterness or mistrust of me. It didn't happen. From the very beginning they were very nice and very loving people. Perhaps it was because they too felt betrayed by the way their daughter simply abandoned Josh and the kids. But then she had abandoned them as well. But it might have been the fact that they saw how much I loved those kids and they loved me right back.

* * * * * *

Valerie

What can I say about jail? Of all of the places that I never expected to be, it had to be at the top of my list. I was in a holding cell. Luckily for me since it was a local jail and I was a DEA prisoner, I was alone. No one spoke to me. They had taken my purse and all of my things. They had questioned me over and over again about where the drugs had come from. I had no answers because I didn't know.

One of the agents asking me questions told me that Steve was going to sue me for bringing drugs on his bus.

As the day progressed there were many changes. They thoroughly examined me and found no traces of drugs in my system or anywhere on my body. From what I was told they found all kinds of drugs in Steve's system and residue all over his body. Now the average person would think that would be enough for them to let me go.

But Steve was now claiming that I was some sort of drugs dealer and the drugs that they found were mine. He told them that I was carrying the drugs so I could sell them to him. The Agent told me that if things went down that way, Steve would go to rehab and I would go to the federal pen. I've seen enough cop shows to know that he was trying to offer me a deal to roll over on Steve.

I sat down with the agent and started blubbering. I told him everything and I think he believed me. But before he could give me the papers to sign ... and yes I was going to bitch out and snitch on Steve, the door flew open.

The man who walked in wore what looked like a million dollar suit.

"Thank you very much agents," he said. "My client and I will be leaving now."

He handed them some sort of paper and they passed it around and started packing up their equipment.

"Ten seconds," said one of the agents. "All I needed was ten more seconds. She was about to sign the paper and then Snortin' Steve would be screaming for a different reason. Those guys in jail would have had him singing all night."

"That's Screaming Steve," corrected my supposed new lawyer.

"Yeah whatever," said the DEA agent.

After they left, the lawyer just looked at me. He shook his head. "They sure don't make them very smart on the farms these days do they?" he said.

I started to answer him until I realized he wasn't referring to the agents. He was talking about me. "You didn't have a clue did you?" he laughed.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Did you really think ... ah forget it," he said. He left the room and on his way out I heard him talking to someone.

"What was the first thing I told you to do, Valerie?" asked Brianna as she walked into the room.

"You told me to run," I said.

"Uh huh," she said. "But you didn't listen and now you have a drug arrest on your record in the state of California. If you decide to go into politics or any type of public service you will never get elected. In some cases you may even go onto the "no fly," list. You're free to go. I got a judge who's a friend of Steve's to give you a suspended sentence. As long as you keep your nose clean for the next couple of years you'll be okay. But that's all I can do for you."

I nodded.

"Do you still have the money I gave you?" she asked. I nodded again.

"Valerie, take the first bus home," she said. "The rock and roll world isn't for everyone. You're too nice, too trusting, and too soft for it. Go home to your family before it's too late."

"But this has to be some kind of mistake," I said. "Steve would never do anything like this to me."

"What did you expect, Honey?" she asked. "Was it supposed to be love at first sight? Did you think he was going to just throw me away, for you?"

"It isn't first sight," I said. "We were college sweethearts."