by mlbohmy
I hate first person stories writtern as though they are telling me what happenned. even though I was supposedly there.
Why would I want a comentary of what the author and I did together ?
If I was there it would be a bore to be given a graphic account of the event.
Try rewriting in the third person as if you are telling someone else what happenned.
Would be nuch more real and sexy to the reader.
Can't wait for my husband to land after a business to the States. I bet we don't make it home with out a diversion down a country lane for a bit of open air sex.