Alex

"It's good to know, 'cuz I go totally insane when you do."

She raised her eyes to the ceiling, as though she were pleading a divine intervention. "What's happening to me?"

I put my arms around her waist, wondering about the new kind of ache in my heart. I'd never felt it before. There it was again… squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. Thud, thud, thud. It felt so good to have my arm around her, like a safe haven that smelt wonderful. I could live with that smell, I realized. And I wanted that smell on me, too.

"Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"I want you to take me to bed."

She pulled away slightly.

"Are you sure? I really don't want you to regret this. I can wait…"

"Shh," I placed my finger over her lips. "I want this. Really. The only thing I'll regret about tonight will be the fact that you didn't make love to me, if you don't go about it soon."

She took my hand and kissed it. "If you're sure…"

I silenced her with a kiss, staring into her eyes as I did so. I always knew that there was something different about Alex's kisses, but in that moment, I figured out what it was. Alex kissed me without a demand for authority. With every guy who'd dated me, a kiss had meant a devouring of one person's lips – mine. But with Alex… there was a give and a take that I could feel. And that feeling was marvelous, glorious, especially when she curled her lips around my tongue and sucked on it.

I moaned against her lips, bringing forth a shiver from her. Her hands entangled themselves in my hair, tugging at the blonde strands as she slanted her lips over mine once more, taking my upper lip between her lips and biting on it lightly.

Wanting her was killing me, slowly fucking my self-control, making it bleed 'til I had none left. She kissed me like that for a long time, seducing me with nothing but her lips on mine and her fingers in my hair. I did nothing but lay my hands on her shoulders and accept what she was giving me… and giving what I could feel that she was taking.

When her mouth finally lifted from mine, I was shaking uncontrollably, fingers ready to lift the hem of my blouse over my head. But she stalled me, whispering: "Bedroom?"

I knew that if she could, she would've carried me to it, but being Alex, we stumbled into the darkened bedroom, not bothering to turn the lights on before we collapsed onto the bed, a tangle of limbs. Alex ended up on top, kissing me again, drugging me with her taste.

Her fingers delved below the blouse that I wore, moving upwards, stroking their way to the ultimate goal, but never really getting there. She leaned back and chuckled when I groaned from the pure hell of it, moving against her fingers restlessly.

"Please," I whispered in her ear when her fingers traced the underside of my breasts, making goosebumps cover the white skin of my stomach.

She kissed my cheek before moving back to pull the top over my head. I was wearing a lacy black bra underneath – I'd prepared for the what-if situation – and it was Alex's turn to groan when she took in the delicious contrast that the bra made with my skin. Ducking, she trailed kisses over the tops of my breasts, working her way to the valley in between the pert globes.

Her fingers undid the front clasp, and I felt the freedom that could only come with nakedness. A chaste kiss, she placed on the small patch of exposed skin, feeling me move beneath her.

Her jacket was gone, and she reached down, pulling her tank over her head. I gasped when I saw that she hadn't been wearing a bra at all throughout the evening. But on second thought, she didn't really need one, anyway. Her breasts were small mounds covered with dark, chocolate-brown nipples, sitting on coffee-colored skin. I was only allowed a second to ogle her before she lowered her body to mine, pressing our heated skin together, and we gasped.

"Jesus," was what came out of my mouth. What came out of Alex's wasn't appropriate for me to repeat.

"It's never felt like this," she whispered against my ear, her voice hoarse and deep. I couldn't suppress the involuntary shiver that ran through me.

"Never for me either," I whispered in reply as I felt her breath scorch the tops of my breasts again. Gently, she lowered her head and licked at one swollen bud, making me buck in surprised intensity of the touch. She held me down with her hands, swirling her tongue around one nipple while playing with another using her thumb and forefinger.

She paid equal attention to both my nipples. She was still suckling on the second one when I felt her fingers slipping into the waistband of my slacks and underwear. It was an excruciating pleasure to feel her fingers delve through the layers of clothing, to find the one sweet place that was pulsing just for her.

I made a strangled sound at the back of my throat when her fingers sifted through the thatch of pale hair at the top of my core. Pleased with my reaction, she repeated it, making me lift my hips in silent pleas for her to move her fingers lower.

And she did move lower. One finger moved down to massage the tip of my aching sex, making me buck and writhe wildly.

"Please." It was a chant that I couldn't rid my mind of.

"Wrap your legs around me." It was a command, and I felt it stir my already dripping wetness.

I wrapped both legs around her lean waist, just as she leaned down to kiss me, her tongue moving into my mouth with the pent up ardor in her body. At the same time, her finger moved down, pressing between my nether lips, coating it with my copious juices. Slowly, she pushed into me, and I felt myself embracing the thrust of her finger, whimpering as I did so.

"You're really tight," she whispered as she began moving in and out of me, gradually making me accept more of her lean finger. The pleasure was sinful, making me lift my hips for more of it each time she withdrew.

One of her palms was braced on the bed, holding her weight up, the other in my pussy. But that didn't deter her from leaning down and capturing a pouting nipple between her lips. Her thumb flicked over my clit as she bit down on one pink crown, making a spiraling sensation unfurl between my legs. It grew as she sucked none-too-gently on my sensitized nipple, drawing it away from my body before letting it bounce back.

By this time, my vocabulary had whittled down to 'oh my god', and as her thumb pressed down onto my clit, I felt myself tense for that final, exquisite release.

I screamed – something I never did, as I came. She kept her finger inside me, wriggling it as I thrashed, wave after wave of an orgasm trickling through my body. It was bliss, pure bliss that overwhelmed me and I basked in every second of it.

It was quite a while before I got my breathing under control. Aftershocks of pleasure still vibrated through me between moments, but that was a wonderful reminder of fantabulous sex. Alex had collapsed on top of me, her breathing raw against my neck. I was luxuriously satisfied and felt sleep creep up on me. Then I remembered.

"Alex?"

The sound that came out of her throat wasn't even a growl. There wasn't a category to put it under.

"I should return the favor, shouldn't I?" OK, I couldn't help the yawn that I said that around.

"It's 'kay. Took care of it," was what I think she said. Her voice was all rough and low and muffled.

I yawned again when she rolled off me, thinking that there wasn't a better feeling in the world than having the greatest sex partner. I turned towards her, and saw that she was watching me.

"What?"

She moved as close to me as humanly possible. "You know… the look on your face when you came… it made me come."

My eyes grew wide from shock. I didn't know what to say. What would one say to that?

"Wow. Really?"

"Yeah." She reached down to touch herself and winced. "A little sensitive now."

"Mmm." I could feel sleep creeping up on me again. She chuckled.

I watched her through half-closed eyelids as she shucked her jeans and pulled the comforter around us. The smell of sex and Alex surrounded me and I smiled.

"'Lex?" I whispered just before I was dragged down by sleep.

"Yeah?"

"Wear your eyebrow ring."

I could hear her soft laughter. "Why?"

"'S Sexy," I heard myself say… but then again, I couldn't be sure.

*

I awoke with a start, hours later. There was a faint glow coming from between the partially drawn curtains that told me it was near dawn. I turned over on the bed, realizing that Alex was gone, which probably contributed to the uneasiness that I felt.

The first thought that popped into my head was, had it all been a dream?

Then I saw the figure sitting on the chair in front of dressing table and the notion was dispelled. I smiled, but it faltered at the look on her face, that was reflected in the oval mirror.

"Alex?"

She turned toward me, her face a blank mask. My brows furrowed and I rubbed my eyes for a bit, before hastily clasping the slipping sheet to my chest.

"'Morning. Why're you dressed already?" I moved to the other end of the bed so that I'd be nearer to her.

"What's wrong?" I asked when she didn't reply.

She held up a slip of paper, rising from the seat as she did. I was just a mass of sleep-warmed flesh as she came towards me with it in hand. She stuck it in front of my face and I leaned back to read it.

Shit.

It was the flight ticket I'd booked for the end of the month – the one I'd stuck on the refrigerator. How did she get it?

Oh god.

What was she thinking?

"When were you going to tell me?"

I stared blankly at the piece of paper, dread creeping into my veins, trying to explain myself. My mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out.

"When were you going to tell me?" she repeated, her words were bitter and hard.

"Alex, listen, I booked this a couple of weeks back…"

I couldn't find the words to answer her after that, for I didn't know how to, especially when she asked me in that tone. I'd meant to tell her last night, but it had slipped my mind completely. My lips parted for me to say just that, but she moved away and placed the ticket on the edge of the bed.

"I believed you, you know. When you said you wanted something with me, I believed you," she said quietly. "I didn't know why I did. Everyone whom I ever believed in…"

A bitter laugh. It pained me to hear it. She shook her head. I wanted so badly to say something, but my throat felt tight and I couldn't bring myself to utter even a word.

"I don't understand why I thought you were different. Fuck. I'll just... go."

My eyes followed her movement towards the door; I remained unmoving. It felt like I was outside my body, watching all this shit unfold after such a magical night. But when I saw her frame move past my doorway, my legs and my voice box jerked into action.

"Alex, wait!" I called out as I ran to my closet and threw T-shirt and shorts on. I kept calling for her to wait as I did so, but when I raced out to the hall, she wasn't there. I opened the front door, hoping that she'd be waiting for the lift, but she wasn't there either. I heard a distant rumble and ran across the small hallway in bare feet, towards the windows that overlooked the carpark. I was just in time to see Alex pulling away from the lot without her helmet on. Something painful twisted in me as I watched her go, and the further she went, the worst the pain became.

I didn't know how long I stood there, staring at the route she'd taken. I was crying, too, silent tears that I had never cried before. What the hell had I done? What did all this mean? Why was my life so fucked up?

I went back into the condo, looking back to the couch where we'd made out on last night. I didn't know what to do. She had it all wrong. I wanted a relationship with her, and I didn't care if I had to miss flights to make it work. But she didn't know that.

I guessed that I would've thought the same thing if I'd been her… especially since she'd already been let down by the people she loved, once in her life.

My breath caught as I spied the envelope on the coffee table, the envelope that Alex had given me last night. I walked towards it and knelt before the table, gingerly picking the letter up. I opened it up as quickly as I could, and a thick pile of letters fell out. I flipped the stack open, and immediately spied the date on the top of it.

2007.

The next one.

2008.

And the most recent one.

2009.

the bottom of the letter said:

"I think I've fallen for you, Miss S. Happy Valentine's Day."

*