All Comments on 'Alyson is Ordered into The Room'

You wrote a good story here - thanks for sharing your talent - but the title is dreadful!

The story deserves much better - and I hope there is more to it. Thank you and five stars - but do something about that clunking tile!!

Your grammar is awful as it could have been written by a five year old.

Think of a different word to use rather than 'and' . Try as or then etc.

It’s a reasonably decent story, they took an awful lot of liberties with her some parts were bizarre (lipstick) but others were outright dangerous and stupid (drugs And tape on boobs). The writing style itself is a bit clunky.

Using viagra on a woman is bizarre, research has shown it’s highly unlikely to have any positive effect for a woman, tranquillisers are proven to give a negative effect on the libido of men and women. So any increase in libido is likely to be psychosomatic.

You should definitely consider putting more information into the Tags, there was a whole range of activities that readers might want to be aware of before/if they read.

Tess (UK)