by TrueNorth1969
After reading this story, I am filled with such emotion that I really don't know what to say, other than Thank You!
I am sitting here with tears of both sadness and joy running down my face for I could feel the love and the loss in this story. Again Thank You !
As a general rule, I don't like sad stories. What can I say when it comes to reading for pleasure part of the pleasure is a happy end(no pun intended). So, in that sense your story failed me, however it was well written and in a way that kept me interest. The twist at the end was a shock but it says something about the way you write that you can keep someone like me reading. Good job, I've read a few of your stories and I can always count on you to come up with something well written.
A really good story. It really deserves a better setting than this.
Hi-Hope I'm not breaking public comment etiquette here. First off, thanks to everyone who took the time to read, comment, praise, and criticize this and all of my other stories. They have often been surprisingly passionate and I can tell you that all of it just encourages me to continue to write. A comment for this particular story seemed to indicate, while complimenting the story, some dissatisfaction for the Literotica site (I think). I'm thankful to the reader for the compliment but would also like to say that after having been a member for a little over a month, I have found many well-written and inspiring stories amongst the thousands submitted. I have submitted stories to agents and publishing houses in the past with little result nor encouragement so to discover a forum like this for my writing has been a real revelation. Please continue to check out as many stories of as many writers as you can. I'm sure you will find much to enjoy or to stir a response from within. ~Cheers~
P.S.Unfortunately, there's no "N/A" response for Rating This Submission. So, when in doubt, I ride the middle rail!
It was so beautiful and touching. It bring to mind, my own love i felt so long ago. Never will she leave my thoughts or my heart either. Thanks for sharing this.
Basically a fine story, but I wish you would learn proper vocabulary. You use the word smirk when you really should use smile. They are hardly synonymous.
The first love of my life and I tried to come to terms with our feelings for each other for 5 years. Finally we realized we needed to be together. Two weeks later she was gone, and I was fighting for my life in a hospital. Many years have passed, and I've been blessed with another woman who captured my heart. But sometimes the pain returns.
So I was reading this story just fine until the last few paragraphs. The story was very good, but if I'd known from the start where it was going, I'd have passed it by. It seems I still have tears left to shed.
Up until the end I thought it was a good story but the ending made me tear up. Good job!
What a wonderful story. I was enthralled from the beginning. Such good character development and story! I suffered along with these characters, aching with them and rejoicing with them. To me this is good writing, when it involves me so strongly that I feel their emotions, needs, fears, and anticipations. Very nice. Azure!
I loved this story. It was very very touching..and i loved the description of Patrick talking to himself about his feelings. The end was unexpected- i guess we all love happy endings..but going to Australia- back to the same place was a nice touch. Do continue writing @TrueNorth1969- you definitely have a flair for it. Keep it going!
Extremely moving for me. For the story to be so emotionally powerful, it must be at least partially autobiographical. Thankyou for letting us into your world :)