by greywolf393
I appreciate the effort you put into this, but it's just not very good at all. I don't know where to begin, but I think the biggest admonishment is of your writing style in general. Technical errors can be fixed, but poor writing requires a lot of changes. Two stars for me. You really need to work on this.
Loved the story and fantasised that it was me and my wife Ann that were with Alice. Like Amy Ann has lovely pert bum that I would give anything to fuck but despite letting (and enjoying) me licking and pressing my tongue against her tight hole she will not agree to my cock exploring her delicious ass.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Always good to get comments of admonishment but no input. Keep it up looking forward to future episodes.
Very good , quite plausible . Only 1 thing , that's Amy's cue not queue. 5 star
I'm not anonymous and I've been known to pen the odd tale or two, unlike some of the critics on here.
This is a good sexy story that engages the reader.
I want to be entertained, I'm not looking to award literature degrees, keep it up, Libby (leggielibby)
Very very good, and intensely erotic in places, because of that I haven’t a clue whether there were any writing errors or not, mark of a good story tbh. 5⭐️ No question, cheers Ppfzz.